Blue Rose

 Even tho it's dance genre, it's dark as hell, so beware if you take a listen. Song is about going through the loss of my father while having depression (so, I feel nothing most of the time), so in the same time I don't want to exist anymore (as usually for all of these years), but I am also afraid to face reality if I "start to feel" as I was really close to my father and couldn't stand thought of losing him. I understand that already happened, but my brain feels so numb that I can't feel it was real, seems that my condition is worse than I thought if I came to this point 😵 In a meanwhile I deleted Twitter accounts (now called X), as well as my Issuu account with all the stories because of the change in the publishing rules on the site (with the free plan it's possible to publish only five works, on less than 50 pages and 50 mb, I fulfilled these other rules in February but I couldn't fulfill the first one because I have more than hundred works).

 Pesma je čekala još od juna da bude završena, znam da moj glas nije savršen ali ovo je maksimum koji sam mogla da izvučem zbog trenutnih okolnosti; veoma je teško nastaviti sa muzikom nakon smrti mog oca, bez obzira što moj mozak slabo reaguje na događaje iz stvarnog sveta, trudim se da održavam glas ali je veoma teško. Drago mi je što sam je ipak nekako završila u predviđenom roku, obično bih pustila pesmu ocu da vidim da li mu se dopada, sada to nije bilo moguće, nadam se da bi mu se i ova svidela. Prvobitno je napisan drugi tekst koji sam kasnije nazvala "Leptir" i bila je o ocu, ali sam zaključila da ne bih mogla da je izdržim i promenila sam u nešto ličnije na šta sam već navikla.  U međuvremenu sam obrisala Twitter naloge (sada se zove X), kao i svoj Issuu nalog sa svim pričama zbog promene pravila objavljivanja na sajtu (u besplatnom planu je moguće objaviti samo pet radova, i to manje od 50 strana i 50 mb, ova druga pravila sam ispunila još u februaru ali ovo prvo ne