Manica (2015)- full story

Story II- MANICA

The story is not suitable for under the age of 15, the main topic is a bipolar disorder (I tried to be credible, I apologize if I missed something) and the description of a depressive episode may be disturbing, just like any depressive episode in my stories, autodestructive scenes .
---------------------------------------

05.11.2015

 Two young men sit in a plane and wait to arrive at their destination. They are good friends; Ray is a young man of medium height with dark brown hair, mild face and blue eyes, and his friend Greg is slightly taller, has light brown hair, short beard and very dark-brown eyes, which look almost black.

Ray: "I guess you'll go straight to home right now?" Greg: "Yes ... you know how it's when your family wants to see you again. Do you go to your family?" Ray: "They are not in the country, they traveled two days ago. In any case, I will go to the city, maybe I find someone interesting." Greg: "If you wish, you can come to my place anyway, don't be bored whole month. " Ray: "It's okay. I'll call you anyway."

 At the airport they got separated- Greg went to the bus station and took a bus to his house,  Ray sat in a coffee shop to drink juice. At one point, he suddenly saw his sister Iris in the salon across the street.

"Strange," he thought, "she should be with our parents. There is something wrong here and the only way I can figure out what is to go to her."

 He paid for the juice and went out. By that time, Iris had already ordered hair dyeing and she didn't even see her brother enter the hairdresser's studio. He stood behind her and she saw him in the mirror. Iris (screaming): "Ray! ( stood up and embraced him ) I'm so glad to see you, for a long time I don't know what's happening to you!" Ray:" Didn't our parents say? After all, I wanted to talk to you, why didn't you want to talk to me?" Iris: "I don't live with them for two years."

 Ray: "How's that ?!" Iris: "Well ... I ... I moved out. It doesn't matter." Ray: "What are you doing here?" Iris: "I moved in yesterday." Ray: "Really? So where have you been until now?" Iris: "Nothing scary, I always change my place of residence ..." Ray: "Well, I will then stay in this city to be with you. (Iris sits on a chair and hairdresser continues dyeing) What color do you dye hair on? " Iris: "In a few of them. More is better." Ray: "It doesn't look like you ..."

 Iris is a girl of lower growth, a gentle face and bright blue eyes. It's very hard to write about her traits, but you'll find out later why.

 After dyeing in a red-yellow-blue-green-violet-orange color, Iris came to Ray and said, "Will you join me tonight at the party?" Ray: "What kind of party? Oh, and what your hair looks like ... why did you need that? " Iris: "One color is boring, I need colors! Don't worry about a party, just leave a suitcase at the hotel and we'll meet for two hours in front of the cafe across the street." Ray: "Okay ... you're really acting strange."

 Ray found the hotel and left the suitcase, and then went to the agreed place. There Iris was waiting for him in an orange-blue dress and had already been chatting with the people around. Ray never saw his sister so talkative and friendly. She was always quiet, not too intrusive and everything but this! Iris (loudly): "Brother! (hugs him) You're here! Why are you dressed up so boring?" Ray: "What's wrong with T-shirts and jeans?" Iris: "It's boring." Ray: "Where are we going?" Iris (fast): "Now I got informations there's a club nearby and DJs come in there and we can go right now ..." Ray: "Iris, calm down a bit." Iris: "I can't calm down, I'm not upset at all!" Ray: "Are you on drugs?" Iris: "No!" Ray: "What's happening to you then?" Iris: "Euphoria. Everything else is fine. It's great, really. Just don't stop me because I can't stop." Ray: "I don't understand." Iris: "And better. I sometimes don't understand either."

 Iris tirelessly danced all night and Ray went to the hotel around midnight. Iris gave him the address to come in tomorrow and continued to dance. In the morning, Ray came to the written address and found Iris painting wall in yellow. Ray ( surprised): "I didn't know you like the yellow color." Iris: "I wanted it to be colorful ." Ray: "You've never liked the colorful." Iris: "I like it now. This is boring, let's listen to music." Ray: "Okay ..."

 She played some rock song really loud and Ray turned volume down,which annoyed her. Iris: "Why are you turning down now when it's fun ?!" Ray: "Iris, I don't recognize you at all! You moved here two days ago and you've already painted the walls into a bright yellow, playing music on high volume, dancing all night !!! How many hours are you even sleeping? " Iris: "Two hours, I don't need more." Ray: "You must be on drugs. Give me what you take." Iris started to uncontrollably laugh. Ray: "What drugs do you take?" Iris: "None. Euphoria is my drug." Ray: "Please, I'm worried about you." Iris (singing out loud): "Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside ..." Ray (putting his hand on head): "You are just kidding with me, right? "Iris (ignoring and continuing to sing)

 Later, when Ray returned from the bathroom, he saw Iris knocking pots as a drummer. Iris: "Come on, let's make music! After that we can paint, then run through the park, then to go back to the club again. Maybe there's some good concert tonight, I'm paying! " Ray: "Oh ... (the phone starts to ring) ... Can you be just a little quiet, Greg calls me." Iris (throws the ladles down and looks at Rey gently): "Greg? What are you waiting for? Answer!" Ray (he answers): "Hey, where are you? Nothing, here I am with Iris." (Pause) She is here, looking at me and waving.(pause) I have no idea what is happening to her. (pause) Oh, pity. (pause) Sheesh, with these mental patients you are never sure what could happen. (Pause, Iris's smile suddenly disappears from the face) Good, good. (pause) Okay,we'll talk later. "Iris:" What happened? " Ray: "Some woman killed herself, Greg says she had some kind of mental illness ... Sheesh, it's hard to live with such people, you have to care for them all the time ... (Iris suddenly changed the expression of the face and began to look numbly in front herself) ... What's the matter with you now? "Iris (quietly):" I'm sleepy. Let me sleep." Ray: "Okay, I'll come tomorrow when you get some sleep."

 He left, and she sat on the floor and looked at the same point for the next hour. The euphoria disappeared. She felt so empty and helpless. The complete collapse in the brain.

 She went under her blanket and stayed like that until the morning. In the morning, Ray called her on the phone, but she didn't answer. He waited for her in front of the house, then stepped out of the yard and decided to come later.

 During that time, Iris was lying in bed. The whole life seemed meaningless to her and the yellow walls that she had painted yesterday had bothered her, so she decided to go out and walk away from this house,from this noise in her head, from herself. She dressed up in her black jacket and black trousers and went out into the street. People looked at her strangely because of her hair, so she covered it with a hood not to attract attention. Under the colorful wands felt crystal tears ...

-
 Ray walked around the city. He missed his country and he was very happy that he was back here. Again, he didn't know what was happening with his three-year-old younger sister, he wasn't sure if her behavior was normal and what should he do about it.

 A crystal blue river shimmered in the sun. There were also clouds, but the sun would still spread its rays to the surface of the water, giving it a magical glare. Ray went to the bridge to photograph the panorama of the city from the height because he was delighted with the scenery in front of his eyes . He climbed the bridge and noticed a girl at the other side of the bridge. "She certainly enjoys this scenery."-he thought, took the phone and made several photos, then turned to the girl, who began to climb on the fence of the bridge! He ran to her to prevent her from jumping and she, noticing that someone was going to her, quickly stepped backward and went in another direction. Still, he arrived and stopped her. Ray: "Hey, you have to be housed in a clinic, you can't leave! I'm going to call an ambulance to come for you. Do you think about your family, girl? (she turned) ...IRIS? !!! No, impossible ... "Iris (furiously):" Leave me alone, go to hell!" Ray:" You wanted to kill yourself? (scared)" Iris: "My life is my problem, leave me alone!" Ray: "Oh God, this is serious! Yesterday you were a different person, what's happening to you now ?! " Iris: "Do you think I know what's happening with me? Leave me alone." Ray: "How the hell to leave you alone, dammit, you could have been dead if I weren't on the bridge! I want you to talk to me." Iris: "I'm not going to talk to you, let me go." (running in the other direction)." Ray stood on the bridge paralyzed after what had happened ...

 Iris went back home and locked the door, then smashed one of the glasses that stood on the table and hurt herself with it. She knew that broken glass couldn't kill her because it was not sharp enough to cut the artery, but at that moment she just wanted to disappear so this comforted her. She went into her room and took all the pills from a box that was prescribed by her doctor two weeks ago, which she should take every day to maintain her mood in normal. "It's too late"- she thought. She hoped that it would at least make her sleepy to be able to sleep over these several days until this hell ends. She felt on the floor with a box close to herself.

 Ray still decided to see what was going on with her, at least to check if she was okay. Since nobody opened the door, he got really worried and called her neighbors from nearby house to tell him phone number of the house owner to open the door. The house owner lived in the next street, behind that street where the house was located, so he didn't need a lot of time to appear.

 House owner: "You think she's home?" Ray: "I have some feeling she is." House owner: "Here, take the key, later you can return it to me. I'm in that green house with the roses in front of the door." Ray: "Okay, I'll bring it later."

 Ray unlocked the door and again remained shocked: broken glass and blood on the floor, an Iris's jacket thrown on the couch, blood traces leading to the room. He didn't wait long, he knew something terrible happened here, at least by the fact that blood is everywhere and his sister at home.

 His fear came true- Iris was lying on the floor, and beside her there was an empty box of pills. He immediately called for help : "Hello, I need urgent help! My sister took a full pack of some pills!" (pause, he takes the box to see the name of the medicine) ... Lithium. Is it dangerous? (pause) Okay, I'll wait here." Ray noticed cuts on her arm and then spotted white scars that he couldn't spot earlier because of longer sleeves. He still couldn't believe what was happening.

 Ambulance took her to stomach cleansing and she woke up soon after. Ray immediately started with questions: where she got pills, why she cut herself with glass, why she had taken all the pills, what the hell is happening to her ?! Iris:" I'll start with the last question. I'm suffering from a bipolar disorder, that is, a manic depression. The pills were prescribed by a doctor in another city, from which I went because I tried to take my life. I should have taken lithium every day, but during the euphoric episode I forget and then I'm having problems later. Now, as you can see, I'm in a depressed episode, which means that I am completely different person than two days ago when we met. I am two completely different persons in one. I am a mental patient, just like a woman you mentioned. You better go for a several days until euphoric episode begins again, before that you'd better avoid me. I need nobody. Parents have rejected me because of my illness, you can go too so I won't have obligation to anyone."

 Ray stood speechless. He didn't know if he should turn around and go or to be with her now when she wanted to be alone. He decided again not to bother her because he knew that she would be safe in the hospital. He left.

Iris was given medication so she felt a little better, doctors let her go home with the reminder that she must take the pills at the prescribed time. She was sure she would do it because she just wanted to black thoughts to stop, and the medicine at least slightly eased the depressive episode. Ray only stopped by to return the keys to the house owner, then returned to the hotel. Next day he went to his place of birth, where he stayed for a few days, but the thoughts of Iris followed him all the time. He was afraid to be responsible for a mentally ill person because he thought it was too hard to live with them. On the other hand, this patient is his own sister! He didn't know what to do about it. He decided to go back and try to help her in some way.

 During that time, the Iris's euphoric episode started . She again stopped taking medication, the only thing that this time wasn't the same was that she didn't change the place of residence. She ran in the park, went to the concerts, she would earn some cash on temporary jobs. She would have barely made herself save a little money for later, she would quickly spend everything. She thought she could do everything that her mind can think about -for example, she sat in the coffee shop and greeted all the passersby and,when she would get bored, she would just start to do something else.

 On returning to that city, Ray went to the rented house in which she lived to check if she was still there. Nobody opened it and he came back. At the end of the street he met home owner. Home owner: "Hey, son, are you looking for a sister? "Ray:" Yes. Is she still here?" Home owner: "Yes, but I rarely see her at home. I'm sorry to ask you, but what happened on the day they took her to the hospital?" Ray: "She ... she fainted and, as she fell, broke a glass from the table, and it hurt her ... " Home owner:" Well, I saw blood on the carpet, so I'm asking. It worried me. She seems like a nice girl but she is so full of energy, like she works on electric power! I thought she was maybe seriously hurt. You know, I have a son of her age, also behaves like she does- jumping, singing, he's always the first when some mess is in question. And then, as if he's gone! We don't hear anything about him for days or even weeks. He lives in another city so we can't visit him often. "Ray (after a short break):" Does he take medication? " Home owner: "No. Wait, do you mean it's a disease?" Ray: "Yes ... manic depression ... if you didn't say that your son has these symptoms, I probably wouldn't even mention it. I'm feeling weird now when I know that my sister has a mental illness - she always looked normal. I'm just not sure what to do about it. " Home owner: "Same as I will do with my son today - find your sister and take care of her. Family is irreplaceable, son, you can't choose or change it, you can just leave it or get used to it. I am a modern man and I understand that more and more people have a psychological disorder. Everyone turn their heads and these people just want support. No sympathy, support. I didn't ask you- do pills help? "Ray:" They should help, they act by keeping the mood in balance. " Home owner: "Okay, we'll go to see for these pills when he comes home." Ray: "Did Iris pay the rent?" Home owner: "Yes, several days ago. She also took out the carpet to be cleaned. Oh, she cut her hair a little. She has purple hair to her shoulder, to know it's her if you see her." Ray: "Okay. Thank you for the conversation. " Home owner: "Nothing, son, care for your sister."

 He saw her batting in a jeans and a thin blouse in a chilly river. Ray (shouting, approached): "Iris, get out of it, don't get cold!" Iris (enthused): "Brother, you came back to see me! (coming out of the water and running towards him)." Ray (when she stood in front of him):" I see that you are now in euphoria, aren't you?" Iris:" Yes. " Ray: "Did you take medication these days?" Iris: "Well..." Ray: "Iris! How do you think to get better?" (Removing his jacket and put it on Iris) Here, don't get cold. Come on, let's go home to change. "Iris:" But I have to go to the party! " Ray: "No, you don't have to, you have to change clothes and have a cup of tea."

 House: Ray brings tea to Iris and himself. Ray: "Is it a little better for you now when you took a medication?" Iris: "Yes. The thing is that thoughts get me too fast." Ray: "Where did you get the money for rent?" Iris: "I'm sharing flyers through the city, they're paying me. I'm not doing anything illegal, don't worry about it." Ray: "Well ... how many times did you want to kill yourself? How many times have you left towns for that? Why did you leave our parents?" Iris: "Six times, this is the seventh. The city we are in now is the fourth which I moved in. Parents ... they thought I was a drug addict, they kicked me out of the house, they didn't want to have anything to do with me. After the first suicide attempt I got the diagnosis of bipolar disorder and somehow I felt a little bit better. You know when you think you are the only one on the world that feels like that? Then I realized that I wasn't the only one and that someone else shares this hell with me. Somewhere somebody else is going through all this. I just hope that most of them have family support and that their family doesn't say that it's difficult to live with people like them." Ray: "I'm sorry I said that, I didn't want to hurt you." Iris: "You changed your mind just because I'm your sister." Ray: "Honestly, yes, but better ever than never. More people should change their minds, not just for their loved ones, but for all because everyone is the same. I think our parents must know the truth." Iris : "Better no. Nothing will change."

 Later, Ray still called his parents and explained to them the whole situation, but they were still detached from the situation. Ray even threatened to call them again no more if they weren't now with Iris, but that didn't help either. Iris: "I told you." Ray: "The hell with them. I'll think something, I promise."

 The next day, the house owner brought his son Peter to town, and they and Iris met in the neighborhood. Iris: "Good afternoon." Home owner: "Hello, daughter. How are you today?" Iris: "Okay, you?" Home owner: "I'm good too. This is my son, Peter (they shake hands), and we just returned from the hospital where, on the basis of long-standing symptoms, the doctor gave the diagnosis of bipolar disorder. Your brother told me yesterday that Peter may suffer from it, so I didn't want to leave him alone at this point. " Peter: "Maybe we could talk about it sometimes?" (A bit euphoric) Uh, by this morning, I couldn't calm down, but they gave me some pills in the hospital and the therapy that I should take, so I think I will be better. Otherwise, what do you say about this conversation? "Iris (enthusiastically):" Of course! I always wanted to talk to someone who went through all this! You can come when you have time, you know where my house is. " Peter (turning around when they went): "By the way, I really like the color of your hair!" Iris (smiles): "Oh, thank you!"

 At the evening he came to her and they talked until late into the night. They realized they would be great friends and that they could be together in an organization for life with this illness. In addition, Peter suggested that they go together for therapy, which Iris accepted. Starting next week, they went on therapy together and the improvement of symptoms was soon evident.

 Ray came every day to be with his sister. Seeing that she was better since she's friend with Peter, he decided to give her something to help her, at least in material terms.

 Iris: "For how many days do you go back abroad?" Ray: "In about ten days ... And that's why I wanted to give you something that will be needed later (giving her the keys)." Iris: "What are these keys?" Ray: "From your new home. I bought that purple house next to your, soon former home renter. Peter will be your neighbor. I put some money in the bank, you'll have it for the black days . " Iris (crying out of happiness): "Why did you spend such money on me?" Ray: "(hugging her) Shhh, I would give everything I had if I could cure you. This money I brought to our parents to buy the neighborhood's land, but I won't give them even a cent because they are not here for you. I have to go back, but I want to know where you are. I won't let you wander who knows where,I know that Peter will be here for you and you for him. I know this can't make up for my absence, but I hope it's enough ... "Iris:" And more than enough. You don't know how much this means to me! Thank you, thank you ... "Ray:" Don't thank me, that is the least I can do. "

 From the next day, Iris lived next to Peter. She began to live a more normal life and, after two years, she fell in love and lived with a fiancé in that same house. They had a child later and loved him the most on this world. Piter found his soulmate later but, like Iris's fiancé,she had understanding of his illness. They both found the job, they were members of the organization of life with bipolar disorder and the most importantly they remained the best friends.

 Two young men were sitting on the plane waiting to fly back. Greg and Ray met again.

 Greg: "I had great time with my family! Too bad we have to return back, we have duties." Ray: "I thought to get back to country for several years." Greg: "Come on, you're serious?" Ray: "I realized that the most valuable thing is here, and not there." Greg: "You'll change your mind when we get there." Ray: "Maybe I will, maybe I will not. I learned an important life lesson this month- you can leave the family or accept it the way it is, as well that mental disorders and mood disorders are not a taboo topic and something that happens to 'some men' or to 'some woman'. If we leave our closest, how can we expect someone else to be good to us? " Greg: "As you were on Tibet, spiritual and reborn." Ray: "It's easy for you to talk, your sister didn't stand on the bridge with the intention of jumping." Greg: "Where is Iris now?" Ray: "She came to see me out. You don't know how much I'm glad she's better." Greg: "Maybe in the coming years you're going to be an uncle? You will first buy me a drink, agreed?" Ray (laughing): "Agreed, buddy, agreed."

The end
08.11.2015
Suzana Ristic Suza
----------------------------------------

Disscusion

 As a person who listens to metal, the name of the story has come to my mind just like that, and this is the first thing that came to my mind with mentioning of manic depression. I came to the idea of trying to write a story about bipolar disorder BUT ... that would mean that I have to describe something that is completely opposite to my depression, and that is the euphoric episode. I thank the internet for information what such an episode looks like, it was better that I almost got a picture in my head rather than writing a nonsense. Since I was a childish person, I tried to imagine what kind of crazy things Iris could do and how she could spend all that energy. Of course,in my mind I always have hair dyeing in several colors, as well as painting the walls in yellow or orange (which I am not a big fan of because I like colder, darker and pastel colors), but in practice many people with bipolar disorder express themselves with art. Then there is a trigger of depressive episodes ( in some sources I found that there is no trigger in the bipolar as in the borderline); Ray tells her about the suicide of an unknown woman, but in a condemning way, and her euphoria was replaced by a state I can describe, but I described it as a clinical depression because such sudden change in the brain undoubtedly leads to a more turbulent reaction (I come to such a state after a mild euphoria, as if all the energy is gone- more euphoria at one moment means a bigger problem later , that's why it's not good for me to be in the good mood, just when they think I am fine I do the most autodestructive things after that). Therefore, the scene on the bridge is to show families and friends that mental illness and mood disorders are not a joke and should not react only when a person is dead. I don't write this for myself, my goal is to open eyes to someone who can help a person who goes through that hell. These more positive stories have that function.

 As you can see in the story, Iris wants to get out of hell of disorder. Unfortunately, bipolar disorder can not be cured but only controlled by medicines, and years are needed to get diagnosed. Given that it is easier to fight with something when you have company, I took Peter as a character because the disorder doesn't have to happen to just one person- many people suffer from something, they don't seek help and live with it or even end their lives. Well, there are also those who go for treatment and then recover or at least live better, as is the case in this story.

 Conclusion: I hope that I have at least managed to describe out how bipolar disorder looks like, at least as far as the dark side is concerned. Iris may be a little childish, but that's all I could work with in my empty head. The story, despite everything, has a strong a message for the family and friends of people with disorders: Don't judge us, we haven't chosen this, you are all we have in this dark, cruel world! We are aware that it is difficult for you, but do you know what kind of chaos we have in our own head? Show us that we are worth and not rejected, and we will do our best to deal with our demons. Just stay with us.