Stories that I would write differently (now)

 

It happens that, even though the idea for a story is strong and pulls me to write it, in the end I'm still not completely satisfied. It has already been mentioned that I rewrote the first few stories, I don't count them because I was still a beginner in writing and it was done to improve the quality, but the plot was minimally changed (unless there was some kind of confusion or mistake in some places). In some recent stories, there are parts that always make me uncomfortable because of what was written - some such parts I corrected and supplemented during the typing of the text, but still some ended up in the final version, sometimes I am tempted to rewrite stories with more illogicality and worse development. The list does not include thoughts from stories where I am a character, even if in the meantime my attitudes and needs have changed, they are part of the age at that time and serve to give me an insight into the spiritual development of my personality (for example, I do not agree with the story "13 Deaths " - Chapter "Broken" in the present, but during the period of writing I was bitter so people will always read my opinion at the time even though I have long since disagreed with it) so any philosophy of mine should be seen as a state of mind during that period, not as my only and final opinion, a person must become more mature and be ready for changes if he wants to elevate the spiritual side of his personality.

-LOLLYPOP

This is a story that I wasn't sure how to do without breaking any ethical code, given that all the characters are real people. I wasn't allowed to write their names, I wasn't allowed to describe their appearance, I couldn't write in detail about their personality (after all, how much did we really know each other, except through those short-term interactions?), I was afraid to write fictional situations with those characters ( except for the scenes where they interact with me, so the whole story is from my point of view) because I wasn't sure if it was a good idea. It was driving me crazy that I had so many characters and that the story could be very dynamic (even though it was written from my point of view), but because of that line between reality and fiction I wasn't allowed to go any further. I'm annoyed by the part with Almond, even then I wouldn't have been disappointed by his marriage let alone now, I'm sick of reading all the way to the balloon scene because that's when I wrote my real opinion on the subject - it came off as I was grieving for him, and I just wanted to put an end to that part of my life through that story and to move on. It would have been more interesting if I had more artistic freedom and could have had different interactions with the characters; in reality I'm a very reserved person, but that's the point, in the story I can show the less noticeable sides of my personality and show the sarcastic side, the witty side, the emotional side, maybe even the romantic side... I wish I wasn't so reserved (read: boring) in my own stories, this applies to all stories where I'm a character, from "Scale of Sanity" to "Team Blume - The End of the Universe", I've been like that since childhood because I'm used to hiding my emotions (except anger which I express more and more often). Another part of the story that I don't like is the part with Orange; in the story, I didn't give detailed explanations why I avoid that person, and maybe I turn out to be a piece of trash who runs away from someone without need, but in reality I really have a reason, I just didn't write about it because of privacy and a subjective point of view, but the situation is a little different now. In the meantime, I gave the person another chance, but it came down to the same again, and all those scenes with her would have been more dignified and mature, because I'm an adult and that's how I behave. I had trouble writing almost anything in this story, including the Blackberry part, without going overboard with fiction. I wish I knew my "characters" a little better, but even so, it was impossible to "predict" the way they would communicate with me at this time, except for Apple and Orange, with whom I had the opportunity to communicate after the story, while I remember Almond as an interlocutor just from the memories of when we were kids (with the fact that we played more than talked, but I doubt he would be nice to me in the present). Overall, this is not one of the stories I would recommend for a first read because of all these "restrictions" in the writing process, a part of me would love to write it again but I would run into the same problems again. If I can find a way to make those characters completely fictional or to do the story differently, respecting the code of ethics and still making it a little more interesting (maybe even revamping the contest idea and putting in something more realistic), then maybe it will be something. For now, this version of the story remains, which for me will always carry a certain amount of uneasiness because of the characters that exist in real life, but I still return to it because of the depressing scenes.

-DREAM REAPER 

The happy ending scenes for the characters were written a bit forced, as if I wasn't focused enough on their believability. I'm extremely unhappy with the Weber/Edna interaction, as well as Chaina/Daniela's one, it could have been written much more romantically and meaningfully, I hate how poorly I wrote it, Weber/Edna is probably the weakest part of the book. The Sage/Alton part is fine, but it could have been better, Melody's part is harder to understand because there are also characters from "Katarina and Company" (Melody is a combination of Suzana from my doll world and my traits) and I don't like to associate those characters with topic of suicide and then that combination seems like something doesn't fit. Overall, while I'm very happy with the ending, and even my philosophical blabbering came off good, as did the interaction with Sue, those few "forced" happy endings spoil the overall impression. I won't write it again, regardless of the fact that several characters from recent stories have died in the meantime, so I would add those characters as well, so I'll have to get used to rolling my eyes every time I re-read those parts.

-AMUSED ARIA

It's on this list for a similar reason as "Lollypop", with the fact that I've seen much freer fanfiction on Wattpad than this one. So, the story is directly inspired by one band (it's not One Direction and BTS, for that you have more than enough fiction on the internet), since I'm a realist I collected as much information as I could from different sources, as well as the famous theory about love feelings in a character I call Aatos. There is something melancholic in that theory, even if the songs are not dedicated to a character I call Astrid they still signify despair over a person; for me, the love story was not as much in focus as in other fanfictions because it was never confirmed (and even if it was, it is still the life of a real person), but I was interested in the part that all those events led the main character to think about suicide (which has already been confirmed by the musician himself). Fortunately for fans his life didn't end then, and "Astrid" has a career of her own, and this story is my first and probably only fanfiction because this genre doesn't suit me because of the discomfort of writing about real people, as well as my desire to write realistically (which in this case is impossible, and somehow I'm afraid to go into the fantasy genre so sometimes my works seem austere because of that, as if I'm afraid to fantasize). I'm not unhappy with the story, but I wouldn't write fanfiction anymore for the reasons mentioned.

  - COLLECTION OF SHORT STORIES

   If we look at it as a supplement to the original stories, then it's not so bad, but almost all of them (except "Stone of Stumble" and maybe "Hobby for Emily") are either rushed ("A Little Travel") or not enough action ("Love at First Sight" ) but "The Secret" is the one I wish I hadn't written. Why did I think it was a good idea to write a story where Teodor from "The Serbian Story of Lena and Teodor" cheats on Lena with Black from "Ready for Action?" and to spit on what they went through in their story? Yes, I wrote it when I was fifteen, but I will despise the ending of the short story "The Secret" as long as I live.

L.O.V.E. (Let our venom evaporate)

I hate almost everything about this story, you could say this is the story I'm least happy with - the title has nothing to do with the story, the plot is boring, the comic book form is hard to follow (I have that problem in "Magic of the night" too), there is no lesson and from an imagined idea it became a short love story about two girls. I like the characters, the ending is sweet and this is an extremely simple story, no drama and twists (which is not my writing style and I don't read such light things, but some people like that too). The only benefit of "L.O.V.E" is that everything that could have been done here (ie adding drama and more details) was made up for in the story "Crimson Blue Snow", but this story always gets the lowest score from me as a writer and (without regardless of the LGBT theme, which many do not prefer due to personal beliefs) I would not recommend it unless I am sure that the person likes that kind of theme.

-MAGICAL GIRLS

Here, too, love is the main focus, but that story has always lacked something for me, maybe a little more action. It annoys me that I didn't change the name of the main character Suzy, it's been like that since I created the characters, and it irritates me when a character has my name (the same goes for "Year Seasons"), it makes me feel uncomfortable even though it's obvious that the character is not my version, especially because of those love scenes. Maria and Nikola as a couple are perhaps the most harmonious in the story, but there are not enough scenes with them, and the other couples are not described enough either, considering that this is a love-superhero story with elements of humor. Well, that also bothers me - I wasn't funny enough in the story that this could be called a humorous story (only "Memoirs of one Katarina", which has Serbian version only, shows that side of the personality), there is not enough action for the superhero genre (like "Team Blume") but it's good enough as a sweet love story with a happy ending and I don't have any negative feelings about it, it came from my drawings when I was about ten or eleven years old and it should have been spared the heavy elements. 

-GOTHICA, BEHIND THE MONITOR SCREEN

Here I am not talking about my thoughts at the time (as I mentioned at the beginning) but about the way of writing and action (in the case of "Gothica"). They are not completely bad, but they are somewhat weaker than other personal stories, at least it seems so to me. I was thinking whether "Devil's Town" and possibly "Kingdom of Eternal Darkness" belong on this list, the first one is written as abstract and the second one is more philosophical and I have to make a distinction, since in my stories philosophy is more important than action. Even so, "Gothica" could have been a little better, and "Behind the Monitor Screen" is perhaps more confusing even though it has no plot, but is about a site I've been on for years (I recently deleted my profile and all my information on it, so I could write about it more freely now). Anyway, I blame myself for getting lost in philosophy a lot in absolutely every story where I'm a character, I seem like a boring person (well, I'm boring in real life too, but I still have other sides of my personality that I don't know how to express), such stories are only for those who like morbid philosophy and the study of the society we live in, these are topics close to my heart.