The Artists live (a little bit longer) (April 2024)

 

The story is not suitable for ages under 17; contains sensitive topics such as suicide and self-harm, several potentially disturbing scenes, as well as some more explicit scenes that are more freely described than in my other works (but still without any profanity, just like before). For a better understanding, read the story "Artists Live Forever" from 2016 because this story is a sequel of that story.

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(Started 1.04.2024)

   Half an hour before midnight, after the last concert:

All team members enter the minibus to drive to the hotel. Sage sits in the back of the bus, staring blankly out the window and thinking about how to fulfill her plan; she noticed that the boys in the band were suspicious and might stop her in her intention, so she knew there was no time to waste - she would take the package with the cyanide pill and the letter addressed to Alton, then sneak out of the room and go up to the roof just in case something doesn't go according to plan and the pill doesn't work, jumping from the roof remains a backup option. She thought that it was best for both the band and Alton, they would easily find a replacement for her and everything would be quickly forgotten. However, she knew that this way the band would get more publicity because the media loves tragic events, and she thought that this night was perfect to end everything. In her mind it was the most correct decision that would bring more good than harm, she didn't know that Alton would fulfill his promise the very next day and that there would be no more band or him among the living, she didn't believe that anyone could really be so attached for her.

   The bus arrived in front of the hotel, and the tired team quickly went to their rooms. Sage hurried to get to her room, but Reydan quickly caught up with her.

    Reydan (leaning against the wall next to the door as she unlocks it): "Are you in a hurry? You're not going to kill yourself tonight, I can swear that to you." Sage (nervously): "Who says I'm going to kill myself tonight? Just because my depressive phase got a little worse doesn't mean I'm going to kill myself... Go to sleep, you're tired from the concert, you were all great tonight. (smiles slightly) Good night. (walks in, Reydan stops her from closing the door)" Reydan: "We're going to stay here all night, but you're not going to hurt yourself again, you're part of us! It was too much that you slit your wrists too several days ago, but we won't let it go any further! (Alton, Shade and Hale arrive, Sage gets even more nervous)" Sage: "I'm fine, really! You're tired from the tour, you don't have to bother with me - rest, and we'll see tomorrow..." Shade: "And what if tomorrow there's no more of you? You said something similar the other day, we know what happened." Alton (enters and looks around): "Where's that package that arrived for you the other day? There's something suspicious about it." Hale (looking around): "I'll put away everything she can hurt herself with. (takes the bag and puts it on the bed) In which part of the bag are your razors? You're either going to tell me, or I'm going to rummage through the whole bag." Sage (furiously): "You want to put away the razors? Okay. (takes a pack of razors out of the bag) Here. (hands it to him) Now that you've put away the things I can hurt myself with, you can go to your rooms..." Alton (still searching): "Where's that package?" Sage (even more nervous): "There's no package, I threw it away." Reydan: "What's in the package?" Alton: "It's supposed to be a piercing, but I don't believe that. (opens the drawer) Here it is. (opens the package) This isn't a piercing, it's a pill..." Sage (shudders) : 'It's just an ordinary pill, nothing important. Put it back in the drawer so it doesn't get damaged." Hale: "Why are you so upset about a pill? What's that pill for?" Alton (bringing the pill to his lips): "I'll test it to see if it's what I think it is." Sage: "No! Don't put it in your mouth, please!" Alton (pulling pill away from his mouth and nodding): "I knew it. (puts it back in the package) Hale, take this as far away from her as possible, I can't throw it in the sewer and it has to be destroyed according to regulations, she probably got it illegally, so we have to see what we're going to do with it." Shade (surprised): "It's some kind of poison? It doesn't look like that, it's just an ordinary pill..." Alton (looks at him): "Cyanide. She was going to kill herself with cyanide tonight. I assumed that because she mentions cyanide from time to time, it means that she is very familiar with its effects. (Sage sits on the bed and lowers her head, Alton sits next to her) I see you've worked hard on the plan, but we're not going to let you carry it out." Shade (kneels down next to her and takes her hands): "Come on, buddy, don't let this defeat you, we are here with you as you are with us." Reydan (sits next to her): "How many times have you cared for us, listened to us and helped us? We are not just band members, we are family and you are our sister. (Sage starts crying, Reydan hugs her) Feel free to cry, get your emotions out of yourself." Hale (takes a chair and sits next to them): "What are we going to do next? I'll put this away, then I'll come here later." Alton (shaking his head): "You three rest, I'll stay here with her, I don't mind." Sage (wiping away tears): "There's no need for anyone to stay, I'm not going to do anything to myself. Besides, I don't have anything to do it with even if I want to." Hale: "Of course, and then you go to some of the higher floors or the roof and jump - no way you'll be left alone tonight. (To Alton) Do you need me to get you anything from the bag?" Alton: "No, I'll call you if I need anything." Shade (as they leave): "Lock the room just in case." Sage (frowns): "It's okay, I'm not in a mental institution so you would have to protect me so much." Reydan: "You realize that you should be there because you are a danger to yourself right now? We know that it would be too much of a trauma for you, so we are trying to somehow avoid it, but if necessary..." Shade: "Tomorrow we will inform the media that you are not leaving the band, you are not going anywhere. (smile) Alton, call if you we need it, agreed?" Alton (nodding): "Sure."

      The three of them got out and Alton locked the door and walked over to Sage. Sage: "How did you know it was cyanide?" Alton (sitting next to her): "It just happened to occur to me, and I know your favorite song by Metallica is "Cyanide", and we've talked on several occasions about what is the best way to die, so you mentioned how you would like to get a cyanide pill or a gun... In any case, from our previous conversations, I had that method of execution in mind." Sage: "I'm surprised you remember trivial things so well." Alton (puts his hand on her face): "See it wasn't trivial at all, I didn't lose you tonight." Sage (touches his hand): "You should have let me go, it would hurt at first but after..." Alton (nods negatively and puts both hands on her shoulders): "If something happened to you, I would go to the roof and jump, realize that there will be no replacement for you, no matter how much you convince me of it. (stands up and goes to the drawer, takes the paper out) I've noticed suicide note, but I didn't want to read it in front of the others. (reads out loud) You were my music too, my inspiration for the most delicate symphony my icy heart could create..." Sage (getting up and walking to him): "Okay, you don't have to read any further, you've ruined my plan anyway. Give it to me." Alton (continues): "I never thought I'd hear its beat again under all that ice, but it seems your magic was stronger than frozen water crystals, I'm honored to have had the opportunity to meet an angel like you, who will be reflected in that newly created lake..." Sage (covering her face with hands): "I'm sorry you're reading this, I don't know why the freaking hell did I write such things..." Alton (continues): "Don't stop creating, my Prince on a black horse, you have many more beautiful melodies to create. Take care. (puts letter down and looks at her) Do you really think I would continue to create just like that, like nothing happened? I know you care about me too, I can see that, but you think you're doing me a favor by removing yourself. (moves his face closer to her and hugs her around her waist) Do I really mean to you as much as you wrote in the letter?" Sage (nods her head): "And much more than that, but I was afraid of writing something that might make you do something to yourself. Sorry if it's a little cringe, maybe it's better if you didn't read it." Alton (smiles slightly): "I think it's very romantic, and I'm glad I have the opportunity to tell you that in person and not to read it after your death. You have that romantic side in you, I would like you to express it more often and write me as many letters and works as possible, but that they are not suicide letters - okay?" Sage (closes her eyes, takes a breath and nods her head): "I hope that it won't be and I'll try to express that side as much as I can, you know I'm a very reserved person." Alton (kisses her gently): "I don't mind, I love that you have different sides of your personality, I'm never bored with you even when we sit in silence and don't say a word. (turns off the light, grabs her hand and pulls her towards him) We should rest too, it's been a busy day. (they lie on the bed together, he hugs her) Good night, wake me up if there's a problem, I'm here." Sage (looks at him gently and wistfully): "Okay. Good night and sleep well."

     It's dawn outside and the sun is slowly rising behind the horizon; Sage wakes up first, slowly pulling herself out of Alton's embrace and getting out of bed. She silently searched around for the key, but then remembered that Alton had put it in the front pocket of his pants. "The freaking hell," she thought, "how can I get the key out of his pocket without waking him up? I'll try because I have no other choice."

    She slowly leaned over the bed, moved the blanket to the side and reached for his front pocket, but she blushed at the mere thought that it was too close to the most sensitive part of a man's body, and wondered if it was worth even trying. She put herself together and slowly touched the edge of his pocket, then carefully slipped her hand inside and reached for the key...

      Alton (wakes up and snatches the key from her hands): "Is this what you're looking for? Can't get it. (puts the key back in his pocket) You're not going anywhere. (gets out of bed) Good escape attempt, but failed." Sage (laughs nervously): "Go to hell. (gets up and stands next to the window) Too bad I don't know how to pick a lock, I wouldn't have to bother with one damn key." Alton (playfully, approaches her): "The key is here, you can only kill me to get to it. If you want to get out of here, go ahead. (spreads his arms)" Sage (shrugs): " I can also tie you to a bed or a chair and take it myself." Alton (laughs): "Oh, have we gotten to BDSM yet? If that's what you want, tie me up, I won't resist. (laughs)" Sage (blushes): "What?! No! (apparently hits him with her hand) I didn't mean that! Uh, it doesn't even matter."

Alton (smiles): "You're blushing again. (kisses her) You're so cute when you blush, like the time I was shirtless in front of you." Sage (purses her lips nervously and exhales): "Yes... On the day of our first kiss. Time just flies. (looks through window) Nobody knows about the two of us yet." Alton: "At least it's easy for them to find out, if you ever get tired of no one knowing." Sage: "For now, I like it this way in secret, even though we have no reason to hide. The only awkward thing is when Reydan mentions that we're family and if I'm like a sister to all of you, then I have a strange feeling in my stomach. (shrugs his shoulders)" Alton: "You're not like a sister to me, you're the love of my life. (kisses her forehead) You're my little angel and little devil at the same time, my princess - since I'm a prince, then you're my princess, right? " Sage (close to him): "That's too vanilla. Let's be a count and countess and not live in a fairy-tale pastel-colored castle, but in a dark gothic castle. Instead of brightly colored ball gowns, I'd wear dark robes, and instead a prince on a white horse, I would have a Count on a black one." Alton (sighing): "Sounds wonderful. We would be like Morticia and Gomez Adams. I just need to grow a mustache. (laughs)" Sage (getting sad): "I would have to change a lot more to be like Morticia, she's perfect." Alton (looks into her eyes): "And you are perfect for this Gomez. I love you, Sage." Sage: "I love you too, Count on the Black Horse. (smile)"

     They brought their lips closer to each other and indulged in a more passionate kiss, lightly running their hands over each other's torsos. They were interrupted by a knock on the door, and Alton let out a heavy breath, kissed Sage's lips once more and went to open the door.

   Hale (entering): "Did everything go well?" Alton (nodding): "We had a bit of an argument about the key because she wanted to sneak out, but the rest went relatively smoothly." Hale: "Well, that, I see that something happened, both of you are red in the face. (the two look at each other, then look down shyly) How are you doing now, Sage?" Sage: "It's okay, we can go home." Hale: "Look, Reydan is right, maybe it would be wise for you to go to some kind of therapy, you would be doing that at the same time as the band. There's no replacement, there's no need for that." Sage: "You don't have to feel guilty about suggesting I take a break, I know you said it for my own good. I can try therapy." Alton: "Don't just have a hidden meaning like when you said you're going to "help yourself after the tour" and you meant suicide." Sage: "There's no hidden meaning, I know I need professional help." Hale (nodding): "Good. But, be carefull what you do, we're watching you. (Shade comes in) Oh, good morning, sir, did you get some sleep?" Shade (rubs his eyes): "I dreamed that I was eating a hotdog, and they didn't have mustard or mayonnaise at the kiosk... What does that mean?" Hale: "It means you're hungry. (laughter)" Shade (nods his head): "Hell yeah, I am. Let's go eat, so they can take us back where we came from. (laughter) I'm just going to wake up Casanova, now I'm going to annoy him a little bit... Okay guys, see you later! (waves and leaves)" Hale (shout after him): "Pack on time, I won't wait for you like last time! (To Alton and Sage) Pack your things too, Sage, I'll pack your things, Alti, and I'll bring them to you, don't leave the room. She promises anything and everything, but she knows how to fool us in the blink of an eye - right, Sage?" Sage (smiles): "Then you know me well, Hale. Kudos to you for noticing." Alton: "Don't worry, she won't run away from me. (Hale leaves, he turns to Sage) Let's pack up and go down, I'm hungry as a wolf too." Sage (nodding): "Okay, I'll be quick."

   The breakfast; band members sit at one table and have breakfast. Shade (puts mayonnaise on hot dogs): "I can't wait to get home so I can... kiss Alice. Yep." Reydan: "Hey, we're not children, feel free to say you want to sleep with her. (laughter)" Hale: "I miss Meryan too - if she didn't have to work, I would take her with me. It doesn't matter, I am just longing for her even more. (to Reydan) You don't understand that, for you monogamous relationships are the Spanish countryside (*Serbian saying for something unfamiliar with*)." Reydan (pretending to be angry): "Oh please, I'm in a relationship when I want and with whomever I want, I don't have to wait until the end of the tour to sleep with a woman. But okay, I'm just kidding. It's nice when you come home and someone is waiting for you. Even if I'm longingly waiting for the day when I'll indulge in passion moments just like in Spanish soap operas again, since we already mentioned Spain. (bursts into laughter)" Shade: "My girlfriend usually goes with us, but now she couldn't because of her new job, she can't be absent at the beginning. Anyway, if you're already messing up with someone over for chastity, here are these two, (points to Sage and Alton) they're like the king and queen of it. When's gonna happen something with the two of you?" Sage (choked): "With... two of us? Him and me?" Shade: "Yes, is there any boyfriend, Alti? Or a girlfriend for you, Sage?" Alton (grabs his head): "No, Shade. Not for Sage's either. When we get them, we'll let you know. (laughter)" Sage (quietly): "Since when have I been interested in girls, and you are into men?" Alton (looks at her and smiles): "Let them go, you can see they're lecherous. (laughter)" Reydan: "I'm not, it's just the one to my left." Shade (looks at him in disbelief): , "Hey! That's right, but - hey! Alton, cast him some spell so he could see how it looks like." Alton (laughing): "Abracababra, in the next period you will meet the love of your life!" Reydan: "Ha, ha, that's it, now I'm enchanted, ha, ha! Now I fall in love with someone like never before..." Hale (laughing): "Are we invited to the wedding?" Reydan: "Of course, the whole team will come, just to find a bride, ha, ha!"

   During that time, Sage was looking thoughtfully towards the door, and then she got up and wanted to go. Alton (getting up): "Where are you going?" Sage: "I'm going to the bathroom, I'll be right back. I guess I can go there alone, right?" Alton (nodding): "If you're gone for more than ten minutes, I'm going to look for you." Sage (nodding): "Okay." Shade (before she left): "Don't use the cistern rope to hang yourself, pretty please! (Reydan pushes him) What, I'm giving her a warning!" Sage (smiles slightly): "I won't, I promise. (leaves)"

    When ten minutes had passed, Alton got up and wanted to go look for her, but she came back and sat down at the table. They soon finished their meal, the others got up and left one by one, Alton and Sage were the last to get up. Sage started to go, but Alton stopped her. Alton (pointing his eyes at her sleeves): "Put the knife back on the table." Sage (taking the knife out of her sleeve): "I'm surprised you didn't notice I brought it a while ago." Alton: "I did. I saw that it was missing on the table, I didn't say anything to the others. I know you can't go without self-harming, but I had faith you'll come back when it calmed you down. Besides, the knife isn't very sharp, you probably couldn't have made a deep cut." Sage (nodding): "Right. Thanks for understanding me even for something this morbid, someone else would have stopped me, and I needed it, I'm a little bit better. (walks to the exit with him)" Alton: "Just don't overdo it and it'll be fine, I don't want you to injure yourself deeper or to do something that will have long-term consequences. I can pretend I didn't see the smaller ones." Sage: "I'll try to be carefull about it."

   During the day, they arrived at their place of residence, and they agreed on what to do next. Hale: "The day after tomorrow we have an interview with a teenage magazine, we'll take a day off from rehearsals and get ready for the show that's near the end of next week." Shade: "At the same time, we'll deny that Sage is leaving the band and promote that concert. If other magazines and news portals call you in the meantime, you know what you should tell them, just don't mention this from yesterday so they don't rush to question too much." Sage (shrugging her shoulders): "I don't care if they know, I have nothing to hide because they already know I'm prone to such things." Reydan: "They can find out after a while, now we're hiding it so they don't take you to the clinic. We won't risk your condition getting worse, things are unpredictable when it comes to you." Sage (sarcastically): "It turns out I'm really a lost case. (exhaled) I know it's better that way for now, in the clinic they would keep me like a prisoner without any privacy, and I'd be back to the same thing as soon as I got out, maybe even worse. I agree that this is a smarter idea." Alton (to the boys): "You three rest and finish your work, I'll be there to look over her, at least I'll know she's okay." Reydan: "Good, then we know he's in safe hands. Just be careful, you know she tends to lie about things like that." Sage (frowns): "Hey, I'm here, I hear everything! I don't need a babysitter for just one night, I know how to take care of myself." Hale (as they leave): "Yeah, yeah... Alton, keep an eye on her and call if there's any trouble. (they leave)" Alton (nods his head): "I will. (turns to Sage who was standing next to him) We're going home to rest from the road." Sage (takes the bag): "I'm going alone slowly, don't worry about me so much..." Alton (takes his bag and grabs her hand): "Not there. (points to another direction) This way." Sage (pointing in the opposite direction): "My house is over there." Alton: "Yeah, but mine's over here, and that's where we're going." Sage (stubborn): "Okay, I'll drop by your place when I drop off my stuff at my house." Alton (pulls her to him and they leave): "We go right there and you stay there.

I have a spare room, I won't do anything to you if that's a problem, just to see where you are." Sage (resists, but finally gives in): "Look, I don't worry about things like that, but you're stressing too much about me. Let go, I will really be fine." Alton (quietly): "Even so, I want you to be with me, just in case. Two birds with one stone - I know you're alive, and you'll be by my side." Sage (looking at him longingly): "Okay, but it's your own fault if I bore you." Alton (smiles): "You haven't bored me before, so you won't now either."

    Shade arrived home where Alice was waiting for him. Alice (hugging him): "We haven't seen each other for a long time, I missed you. How was the trip?" Shade: "I was a little sick, but otherwise everything was fine. I ran out of those nausea pills, and I was lazy to buy them, it's my own fault." Alice: "Tomorrow is my day off, shall we go to a rave later?" It's going to be crazy, some more of our friends will come." Shade: "Baby, you know I normally have a lot of energy, and I'll gladly spend the remaining energy on you, but I don't know if I can really jump and dance all night. " Alice (goes to the shelf and takes a box): "Here, take one of these and you'll be able to do more than you expect." Shade (sees the little pills in the box): "What is this, ecstasy? Where did you get this? Baby, I told you we don't do anything but weed, you know I lost my best friend to drugs! (grabs his head) Where did you get that?" Alice (closer): "I only got a few of them, I'm not addicted! I've only taken a few so far, you know I'm not a drug addict." Shade (puts the box out of her hand to the side and hugs her): "That's how it starts; at first you think it's no big deal, that it's just a few pills, grams or whatever, and it ends with you being found dead from an overdose, and before that you lose your mind because of that trash!" Alice (nodding): "I know. I shouldn't have taken them. Sorry." Shade (hugging her tighter): "I'm going to rest a little, then we're going to the rave, okay?" Alice (kisses him): "Okay. You rest, I'm going to buy a food. What do you want to eat?" Shade (picked her up and carried her to the bedroom): "Um, are you on the menu? I'd like dessert first, then everything else." Alice (taking off her shirt): "Then don't starve, it's not good for the body." Shade (undressing): "You're right, let's satisfy the basic needs first. (laughter)"

  The evening; Meryan grades the exams, Hale sits next to her. Hale (looks at the papers): "Do those kids know anything? (laughter)" Meryan (looks at him): "Depends. There are really good students, but also those to whom, it seems, school is not their favorite place. (smile)" Hale: "Our son will be smart like you, but he's going to be a metalhead like me." Meryan: "How do you know? What if he's into folk music? (laughter)" Hale (startled): "The hell no! I would freak out! (laughs, then gets serious) Well, when are we going to plan the wedding? We don't have to make something big, just to make it official." Meryan: "Oh, now is the season of finalizing grades, so I'm a little busy with that, but we could celebrate as soon as it's all over. I'll have enough of time to get in shape as well. (laughs) " Hale (frowns): "You, to get in shape? You are beautiful in everything you wear! (touches her waist) There's nothing to shape - you take the dress you want, you look great in everything." Meryan (kisses him): "Well, I want to be beautiful in the pictures too, one day we'll show these pictures to our kids. That's why you have to take care of yourself, too." Hale: "You're right, I should put some effort too. (both laugh) I'm going to put on those fancy ties, I want to look like a gentleman next to my lady. (kisses her hand) Okay, I'm not going to tire you, I'm going to rest, and you come when you're done grading." Meryan (nodding her head): "Okay."

    Later that evening, Reydan was sitting in the club having a drink. An attractive woman with long black wavy hair walks up to him and sits next to him. Girl: "How come a guy like that drinks alone?" Reydan (smiles seductively and orders two drinks): "Here, I won't drink alone anymore. (holds out his hand) Reydan." Girl (shakes hands with him): "Janet. Well, Reydan, how did you get here tonight, in this club?" Reydan (checks her out): "I don't know, maybe fate sent me. And you?" Janet: "I was tired of sitting alone at home, my friends cancelled the plans, so I put on my favorite dress and came here. (runs her hands over the dress) What do you think, did I make a mistake in my choice?" Reydan: "Someone had a nerve to cancel plans with you? It was a good decision to come here, I'll have company and you won't be alone either. (looks at her dress) The dress is great, but I don't judge girls based on their clothes. What's more important to me is what's underneath (smiles seductively)." Janet (approaching him): "You seem to be a guy who doesn't judge a girl by what she wears, (she runs her finger over his lips) since you're a gentleman I can show you that I'm just as valuable on the inside, maybe even more valuable." Reydan (whispers in her ear): "Then you're a real treasure. (puts hand on her knee) I hope to go on a treasure hunting adventure tonight, (moves hand up) we'll scream with delight when we get to it." Janet (kisses him): "Come on then, let's go annoy my cranky neighbors a bit, they don't like it when I have fun." Reydan: "A bit? We're going to annoy them all night long! (they leave together) Don't worry, you'll have enough inspiration to let go your sweet voice out. (wink)" Janet (seductively): "Then you'll have to help me with that."

    Morning; Alton wakes up but doesn't find Sage in the apartment. He quickly grabbed his jacket, ran down the stairs and out of the building, fearing she hadn't gone far. He was relieved to see her come back with a full bags. Alton (approaching her): "You should have told me you were going to the store, I freaked out." Sage: "You were asleep, so I didn't want to wake you up. (entering the building) Your fridge and shelves are empty, I had nothing to prepare." Alton: "You don't have to prepare anything, I would buy something." Sage: "You do whatever you please, but I can't eat instant food anymore, I'm sick of it. During the tour, I hardly ever ate a cooked or baked dish, they always serve meat for the others and I have salad, bread and cooked vegetables, if there's any at all. The fact that I don't eat meat doesn't mean that I don't like delicious food. You also know the struggle very well." Alton: "I know, I'm not very fond of meat either, since I've been with you it seems I've become a complete vegetarian without even noticing." (they unpack the bags) I just didn't want that you exhaust yourself, that's all. (reads label) You bought a pie crust? Do you know how to make a pie?" Sage (surprised): "Yes... I also know how to make homemade crusts and make pastries, and different dishes from vegetables, grains, pasta, even cookies and cakes." Alton: "What about Sarma? (smiles)" Sage: "Yes, do you want me to cook it for you?" Alton (surprised): "Really?! You know those old homemade dishes?" Sage (shrugs): "Yes. Beans soup, baked sauerkraft, broad beans, polenta, various soups made of vegetables and legumes..." Alton: "Now my appetite has really opened up. (laughs) It's been a long time since I've eaten any of that, when I was a kid my grandmother used to make me homemade bread and dishes like that. It's easy to order roast meat, but the rest is hard to buy except in some restaurants." Sage: "I'll put the beans on to slowly cook until lunch, for now I'll make something quickly for breakfast." Alton (nodding): "Just don't overwork yourself." Sage (smiles): "I won't, I missed messing around in the kitchen, it feels nice to do it again. (laughter)"

   Reydan said goodbye to Janet and then left her building. While he was looking for money for a taxi, he noticed a well-known packaging in his wallet and turned pale. "Damn, I didn't put on protection last night... (grabs his head) No way I'll be such unlucky to get her pregnant after one night, the hell with my concentration! (exhales) Calm down, Reydan, nothing's going to happen, but be careful next time. Just hope there's no venereal disease, I'll have to check just in case, but don't even think about the rest. Nothing happened so far, and it won't happen now either."

    Around one o'clock, Sage and Alton sat down at the table. Sage prepared a few dishes and a hommemade bread, so they had lunch. Alton (taking a bite): "Mmm, it's great! You can get married, as the old people would say. (laughs)" Sage: "I could never imagine getting married, I kind of don't see myself in a traditional marriage." Alton: "Such a pitty, I already found you a groom. The guy loved you until now, and now he loves you even more. (takes another bite) You cook as well as you sing." Sage: "If you're thinking of yourself, isn't it too early to mention marriage?" Alton (looks at the clock): "No, this is usually the time for marriages. (both laugh) Okay, I'm kidding now, but I really wouldn't mind marrying you. (Sage blushes) Of course, if you want too one day. I mean, this isn't a proposal, I'd do that much better, I'm just saying." Sage (nods): "If everything goes well, I guess that's where we are heading. (takes a sip of water) I wouldn't mind it either if you would be that groom. (laughs) Only if you could bear me." Alton: "I don't see a problem, we're both weirdos. The question is whether others can bear us, you and I will have no problem with each other. (laughs) You know, since we have that gig next week, I'm going to add that money to my savings and I want to buy a house, I am tired of paying the rent and I'm constantly afraid that someone's going to call the police on me while I'm practicing keyboards. I want my peace." Sage: "If you need it, I'll add too. If you want, we can invest half and buy together, I also can't stand the apartment because I can't practice singing. Even if you want to live alone, I would still lend you money." Alton (smiles): "To live together? Absolutely! We will be able to find a better quality house with twice the money, and neither you nor I will pay rent. We'll practice whenever we want, we'll do what we want and when we want... (blushed) I didn't mean anything naughty by that, I really didn't! (laughs) I didn't." Sage (laughs): "I believe you. Yes, you're right, it's better option. If you want, we can drive around the suburbs now, maybe there's something good." Alton: "Okay, let me finish my meal, rest for half an hour and let's go."

     The next day, all five met for an interview and then had a drink at a cafe. They agreed to return to rehearsals at the end of the week. During this time, Sage and Alton found a house they liked in a quieter part of town, bought it and started moving in since the house had been empty before.

     The following week, they went to the other side of the country for a festival, they agreed on the details. Shade: "Now I will jump from at least a meter and a half, it's going to be crazy!" Sage (from the seat in front of him): "Shade, you'll get hurt if you fall badly, last time you also almost sprained your leg, so you couldn't walk normally for three days." Reydan: "You know him, he won't rest until he breaks something." Shade: "Hey! Do you know how powerful that's going to look! (turns to Sage) Anyway, who nearly passed out from headbanging last time - huh? You have head injuries from being hit, and yet you don't stop with headbanging even though you might lose consciousness." Sage (turning around): "Nothing's gonna happen to me because of it." Hale (from the seat across from him): "You forgot about the knives, ropes, razors and other accessories that she uses in performances." Shade: "Yeah, that too." Sage: "Don't compare me who hurt myself intentionally and who am insane to what you're doing, you're doing really dangerous things." Reydan (pats Shade on the shoulder and turns to Sage): "Oh, he's crazy too. (laughter) But she's right, Shade, you're not a teenager anymore, you're an old man." Shade (apparently slapped on the arm): "Me, an old man? Shut up there. (touches his forehead) Look, you have wrinkles on your forehead, and you're telling me I'm old." Reydan (looks in the mirror): "Where do you see wrinkles? I look at least five years younger than you! The only thing is that you have that hairstyle like Chester from "Linkin Park" from the early 2000s, so it makes you look younger, but you're as old as the Bible!" Shade: "You're as old as a dinosaur!" Reydan: "You're so old that you remember when Nu-metal started." Shade: "Phew, it's nothing, you remember when Ozzy started his career." Reydan: "You remember when the electric guitar was invented... Hell yeah electric, acoustic!" Hale: "Kids, don't fight, Uncle Hale will buy you ice cream and you'll play nice after that, okay?" Reydan (smiles): "Okay, Uncle Hale." (To Shade, quietly) You remember when ice cream was invented. (Shade smacked him on the arm again, Reydan laughed even harder)"

     The performance went well, the audience was in a good mood and everything went without any major problems, until the very end. Towards the end of the penultimate song, Shade decided to perform his stunt, but what he was warned about happened - he fell badly and broke his leg. Reydan (comes up first, followed by the other members): "Can you get up?" Shade (tries and moans): "Not really... Help me get to the drums, we've got one more song." Alton: "Forget the drums now, you need to see a doctor, you're seriously injured!" Shade: "I'll hold on, let's finish the concert."

    He performed the last song in great pain, and then everyone quickly went to the hospital. He was diagnosed with a serious fracture, and had to rest for the following weeks, while jumping from greater heights was forbidden until further notice due to the possibility of losing the function of that leg completely. They noted that he was lucky he didn't fall on his back, otherwise the consequences would have been much worse. Due to Shade's injury, the band members decided to take a break for a few weeks, to make sure he fully recovered.

   In the meantime, everything was ready for Hale and Meryan's wedding. Both the bride and the groom looked very elegant, and the wedding took place in a restaurant with a large garden, so the guests were in an open area. Hale occasionally came to the table where the band members and Alice were, they told him that he didn't have to worry about them, but to take care of the other guests, and that they could handle themselves. During that time, the others talked.

   Reydan: "Alton and Sage, how are you doing now that you have a roommate? (laughter) Can you somehow stand each other?" Alton: "It's good for now. We eat together, we talk, sometimes we watch something on TV or a movie on the Internet..." Shade (joking): "Shower together... (they both looked at him) I'm kidding!" Alice: "Shade! They're not in a relationship like you and I, they have separate rooms. (drinks juice) Although it wouldn't be bad if you hooked up." Reydan (looks at Sage and Alton): "Yeah... I wonder who Sage kissed in the graveyard at night? I only know one person brave or crazy enough to go there after dark." Sage (nervously): "If you mean the song 'Kiss for dying soul', that's just a song..." Reydan: "I don't know who blushed more, you or Alton. Since the song was written before the tour, it means that you were together before that, right?" Shade: "Whoa! It's been going on for a few months now! I said at the beginning that there would be some gothic romance and stuff!" Reydan: "I knew he was in love with her that night when... Okay, we don't have to remember the bad events. Anyway, I knew." Alton (puts himself together and looks at Sage, then at the others): "Yes, we're together, you could say so. We're connected emotionally, intellectually, spiritually." Alice: "And physically?" Sage (sigh): "A little bit. There's chemistry between us, but... We're not completely connected physically. It's my fault." Alton: "I told you not to worry about such things, an intimate act is not a priority in my life. I care about you as a person, we don't have to do anything that makes us uncomfortable. That's how relationships work. There's no forcing, there's no uncomfortable feeling when it comes to things like that." Alice: "So you haven't slept together yet? Do you at least sleep in the same room, do you change in front of each other?..." Sage (head down): "No. We have our own rooms, we have never seen each other without clothes. We have a schedule for the bathroom, so break-in situations don't happen either. We respect each other in that regard. I appreciate that, someone else would have forced me to do things I didn't want or wasn't ready for a long time ago." Reydan (nodding): "You have my respect, Alton. Even though I'm the opposite of you on that point, Sage, I still support what you do. I can see that you care about each other, the physical satisfaction will come later, and you have what many couples today don't, and that is the connection. I change girls all the time, our story usualy starts and ends in bed, and then I'm alone again. (takes a sip of wine) I'm more than thirty years old, I'm getting old for such games." Sage (putting her hand on his shoulder): "You're not old, and when it comes to love, there are no rules. Before Alton, I also thought that it wasn't for me, that I wasn't worth it. Honnestly, I still feel the same way to this day, even though I trust Alton's words, my confidence is just so low. We know very well that you are very caring and that you are actually a sensitive person, but maybe the problem is in the choice of girls; usually you choose the more dominant ones, you choose girls who are looking for one night stands, girls who are with you for publicity. You can't get very far with any of them, because it all seems like a level of some game that you have to pass." Shade: "Right, you have to find a person with similar interests, mentality... Alice and I are already together almost four years - sometimes we fight, then we make up, we have a good time, but I wouldn't trade her for anyone else. Take it easy, you'll find her when you least expect it, you'll just realize you're in love." Reydan (smiles): "Well, I guess that will happen sometime. (gets up) I'm going to look around, maybe Hale and Meryan have some nice relative or friend. (goes to the dance floor)" Shade (to Alice): "Too bad I have to just sit because of this leg, I'm not used to just sitting." Alton: "You're lucky you didn't break it completely, you wouldn't be able to walk on it anymore. Wait for two more weeks until we start rehearsals for the shows, we have ten concerts abroad again. (thinking)" Sage (quietly): "Do you think your mother or sister will come too?" Alton (shrugs): "I'm not sure. I would love to see Valentina, but who knows. She probably doesn't even listen to metal, so she doesn't know that our band is coming there. When is your graduation anniversary that you were invited to last week?" Sage: "Next week. I'm not going anyway." Shade: Why? You were made fun of in class, go prove them wrong about you. You've got a career, you've got Alti, had a glow up, beat them all!" Sage (smiles): "Okay, Shade, I won't beat anyone out there. (slight laugh) I don't know, it could be worse." Alton: "I would go with you too, I would also see the place where you were born." Alice: "Well, go on a trip, it can be romantic." Shade (to Alice): "You and I should also go somewhere. I want to go to Grandma Ruza's, she makes a very nice jam. (grin)" Alice (touches his leg): "Forget the jam, make sure that leg heals. (To Sage and Alton) Go for two days, do some sightseeing, put some pictures on social media... It can't hurt." Sage (nodding): "Fine. The only thing is that I don't have anything to wear for the occasion..." Alice: "You have me as your stylist, it's not my first time working with you. (wink)" Alton (getting up): "I'm going for a short walk and I'm coming back. Do you want to come with me, Sage?" Sage (gets up): "Okay, we'll take a walk and come back. (they leave)" Alice (after they left, offers her hand to Shade): "'Let's bet for a hundred euros that they will sleep together during that trip." Shade (raising eyebrow): "Where did you get a hundred euros from?" Alice (rolling her eyes): "That's not the point. After all, you would give me one hundred euros." Shade: "I'll give you two hundred, but buy me a jar of jam. (grin) I crave jam." Alice (touching him on the head): "I'll buy you three jars, just stop talking about jam. (laughter)"

     The evening; Sage and Alton are in their rooms, Alton goes to her door and knocks. Alton: "What are you doing? Are you okay?" Sage (on the other side): "Yeah, I'm just... calming down. I'm going to go out now." Alton (sighing): "You're cutting yourself, aren't you? Are you dressed, can I come in?" Sage: "I'm wearing a tank top, I'm going to put something over it so you don't see the blood..." Alton (entering): "I don't mind your blood. (approaches, Sage awkwardly covers her arms) Your arm is covered in blood. (takes a tissue and taps it gently, notices the wounds on the neck and cleavage) Did you cut here too? (touches her neck) You know this is one of the worst places you can cut yourself on? You can cut the artery in the neck..." Sage: "I can hardly cut that deep, don't worry." Alton: "Did something in particular lead you to this?" Sage: "No, I needed to do it. I'll clean the dried blood in the bathroom." Alton (running his hand over her skin): "I like this shade of red." Sage: "You got your hands dirty... You don't have to get dirty, I'm going to clean this up." Alton (takes a razor from the shelf and makes a small cut on the upper part of his arm): "I haven't done this in a long time, I forgot the feeling. (a drop of blood slides down his arm)" Sage (upset): "Don't start that again! It's enough that I do it, (wipes the blood off with her finger) I really don't want you to hurt yourself. (puts fingertip on her lips, their eyes met)" Alton: "So, am I a sweet boy? (laughs) What do I taste like? (kisses her) I want to try you too. (tastes her blood from his finger) You have sweet blood." Sage: "You can drink all my blood if you want, but don't cut yourself anymore. (runs her hand over his forearm) Look how smooth the skin is, don't ruin it like I did mine, it would be a shame. After all, you can wear short sleeves in public, don't come to the point where you have to cover your skin in the summer like I do." Alton: "Okay, I won't cut my arms. (takes off his shirt) But that's why I don't reveal my torso, I can do that. (makes a cut above his chest before Sage takes the razor from his hand)" Sage: "Stop it! I don't want to have a bad influence on you. Ah, the hell with everything! (quickly cuts herself on the shoulders and neck) I don't want to at least you getting hurt." Alton (putting his head closer to her shoulder and neck and removing the blood with his lips): "Say I'm sick, but blood seems to be my fetish, it turns me on. I'll stop if it's too sick for you, we'll forget about this."

    Sage looked into his eyes and then moved lips over his wound, causing Alton to let out a deep sigh. She handed him the razor and said, "Make a cut anywhere on my body, since we're already going to play that game."

     He made a cut a few inches below her collarbone, then did the same as last time. He handed the razor to her, and she made a cut in a similar place, only on the right side, and again used her tongue to remove the blood around the wound. They kissed passionately before he made another cut, this time on her cleavage, where her shirt and underwear reached, and then gently pulled the straps down and pulled the shirt to the side a little more, so as not to stain them with blood. Her next move was near the most sensitive part of his chest, as her hands were on his back, he let out another heavy sigh. This time he also decided to go further, and unbuttoned her underwear and pulled it out through the tank top, which's thin fabric outlined Sage's body. He made a cut very close to the sensitive part, but without revealing anything, and this time it was Sage who let out a heavy sigh. He continued a few more inches down, completely moving the thin fabric down and revealing Sage's breasts, while Sage's hands were roaming through his body. He stood up and kissed her passionately again, pressing his body to hers.

    Sage (breathing out): "I wouldn't want to go any further just yet, this was something completely new to me." Alton (running his hand over her neck): "Sure, I know no one before me has ever touched you this way, that's why I'm careful. Let's wash off the blood and disinfect the wounds, after that I have to... take care of some stuff. (blushes)" Sage (shyly looks at his pants) I see. I'll be here... to take care of my stuff. (they go to the bathroom)" Alton (curiously): "You also... um... take care of your stuff? (runs the water and washes his arm) How often?" Sage (smiles seductively): "As needed. (rinses blood from her hands and cleavage) You?" Alton: "Similarly. I really need to do that now, so I have to go. (kisses her passionately)" Sage (bites her lip): "One day I will help you with that, one way or another. (smile)" Alton (puts his hand on her waist): "Same, but you had enough for now. One day I'll help you too with your... stuff... but tell me how it went in the morning. (smile) Good night, Countess. (kiss)" Sage: "Good night, Count. (waves at him and goes to his room)"

    Later that night, on the other side of town, Alice sneaks out of the building and goes to the street a few hundred meters away, where she finds a hooded man. Alice: "Did you bring me some?" Man (hands out a packet): "Here. These are mushrooms, see how they suit you, I'll easily bring you more." Alice (gives the money and takes the package): "I have to hide them from my boyfriend, so I can't take much, he is sensitive about such substances. I don't have a problem with them at all, I'm not even addicted to them. More like... just to try them out." Man: "Do you want me to bring you some more goods to try? I have cocaine, it arrived this morning." Alice: "I don't know, that one is too strong..." Man: "Look, I don't know when I'll get it again if I sell this, so I'm offering it to you. If you don't want..." Alice: "I'll take it! Bring it to me tomorrow, I won't even take much." Man: "Okay, come here tomorrow night, I'll bring it to you. You know the procedure. See you tomorrow. (leaves)"

   The day before Alton and Sage's trip, everyone gathered in the rehersal area. Shade was already walking a little better, but still with the help of crutches, which he had to carry with him for a few more days. Everyone was sitting at the table drinking juices and beer, Reydan was looking at the phone with a big smile on his face, completely forgetting where he was. Shade pointed at him with his head and they all laughed together.

    Reydan (startling): "What? Am I funny? (laughter is heard again) Okay, I admit it - looks like I fell in love! There you go." Hale: "With Meryan's colleague Olivia? I saw you talking to her at the wedding." Reydan (blushing): "With her... But don't tell her! (everyone laughs and makes a gesture of closing their mouths with a zipper) I haven't had time to say anything to her yet, we only went out once... I can't be in a hurry. (quieter) Do you think she'll like me in the long run?" Hale: "It's not that you're ours, but you're a beautiful man - how could she not like you? Meryan will be a bit of a matchmaker, too, if you want." Reydan (nods his head): "Good. She can say something nice about me. She can tell her I know how to make lasagna, women love it when a man knows how to cook." Shade: "You really know how to make lasagna? I won't believe it until I try it." Reydan: "Well... I may not know how to prepare it very well, but I do." Sage: "I'll teach you how to cook, we'll just keep our fingers crossed that she likes you as much as you like her." Reydan (smiles): "Thank you for your support, you are such a kings. Except you, Sage, you're the queen." Alton: "And Hale said he had something to tell us, I hope it's not something negative." Hale: "No, quite the opposite - in about eight months I get a promotion; I am now the husband of a wonderful lady, and soon I'll be dad of one little baby! (everyone congratulates him) I'll teach him to play the guitar when he's a little older, it can't hurt. (laughter)" Alton: "What if it's a girl?" Hale: "This first one is going to be male, I just know it." Shade (bringing and opening champagne): "Well, good luck to both Hale for becoming a dad, and Reydan for falling in love, but this time it looks like seriously, and also to Sage and Alton on making their relationship official. (pours champagne into glasses) The only thing that's left is to take this thing off my leg, so we can all live happily ever after until we die!" Hale (surprised): "Where did you get that champagne?" Shade: "I brought it here, so we can open it when we become popular and successful. It doesn't matter, we'll buy another one for then. Now we're celebrating this." Sage (cheers): "Hope we will open it for that one day too." Hale: "Just stop buying cyanide and we'll have at least a chance, we all have to contribute together, it can't be done without you. (Sage takes a sip) Although, maybe we'll have some more babies before then, since you two are together. (Sage chokes and coughs, Alton pats her on the shoulders)" Sage (when the coughing stops): "We haven't discussed that topic... (quieter) Although maybe we should... (in a normal tone)... but I don't plan to have children. (looks at Alton) We haven't discussed that, and it's an important topic." Alton (shrugs his shoulders): "Don't worry, I never planned to start a family either, so our views match. Don't worry about it until further notice." Sage (sigh of relief): "I was worried that you had a different opinion, I don't know how we would handle it. (gets up) I'm going to wash my hands, I'll be right back. (goes to the bathroom)" Hale (to Alton, more quietly): "You really agree with her or did you say that not to scare her?" Alton: "No, I really haven't thought about it. I'm glad for you, I know she's glad too, but we didn't think about our offspring." Shade: "Then make sure you carry protection in your wallet, you might need it. (wink) Do you need any advice for your first time, son?" Alton (laughs): "I know how to do it, Shade, I'm not inexperienced. And for protection... I don't think I'll need it, but I'll bring it. (sigh) Sage is a very reserved girl, I doubt anything will change in those two days, but I don't think about it." Sage (coming out of the bathroom): "I'm going to need a lot of courage tomorrow, I'm a little scared." Hale: "We've been performing at big shows, you've nailed so many tough parts and we've been through it all, and you are scared by - how many, about a hundred people? You are our metal queen, and metal queens are not afraid of challenges - you are stronger than memories. On the concerts there are thousands of people to whom you are good, these others can go to hell." Shade: "Don't worry, buddy, with that outfit that Alice prepared for you, you can't go wrong. That's the one. You must take a picture in that outfit, you'll get bunch of likes." Alton (surprised): "I haven't seen that combination, what is it about?" Shade: "You'll see. You just take what I told you." Sage (curiously): "And what is that?" Hale, Shade, and Raydan (in unison): "Nothing." Sage (looks at them): "Okay... Anyway, thank you for your support, and Alton for coming with me. Who knows what I'd do if I was alone." Alton (kisses her forehead): "Don't thank me, I love being with you."

     The next morning they went early, as soon as it dawned. They arrived around nine o'clock in the morning, took a hotel room and left their belongings, then walked around town. Sage was the tour guide and explained where things were, and around three in the afternoon they went back inside to get ready, since the meeting was at six o'clock. Alton dressed more casually than at performances, he did not want to overdo it with the gothic style. He waited for Sage to come out of the bathroom to see what Shade was talking about yesterday. He was stunned when she came out: a black underbust corset, wine red top and bottom, cleavage just enough to accentuate her bust, short boots with a slight heel but enough to accentuate her legs which, unlike black leggings like mostly until then, were now in skin-colored nylons. With the perfect length of the bottom, which reached mid-thigh, her legs appeared even more sculpted. Her hair was full of volume, her eyes with red and black shadow, and her lips an intense red, while she wore a set of sparkling red earrings and necklace for jewelry. She also put on the most intoxicating perfume Alton had ever smelled, so it took him a few seconds to put himself together when she approached him.

    Sage (turning around): "Could you tighten this corset for me, please? I'm sorry for bothering you." Alton (puts himself together): "You're not bothering me at all... (tying the corset) It's true that blue and purple are your favorite colors, but red is definitely your color, it emphasizes your eyes, and that skirt or whatever it is... (looks down) Let's just say I didn't expect it, you should have prepared me a little bit. (laughs) I could have a heart-attack." Sage (smiles): "The lower part is wrinkled because, you know, nature she didn't leave anything when it was turn to go on the bottom, she left everything on the belly. So feel free to tighten that corset as much as possible." Alton (with a wink): "Okay, I won't tell anyone about the trick, only I know. Others can't check." Sage (turning around when he finished): "So, what do you think? Will my flaws be noticed?" Alton (hugging her): "You have no flaws, even what you are unhappy with is not noticed. You have really overcome yourself, if I wasn't already in love with you, I would fall in love again. You just have to have one thing if you want to look perfect, and that's confidence, without that it's in vain. (kisses her hand) This styling requires a confident girl, don't forget that." Sage (nodding): "You're right. (takes the tie off his collar) You don't need this, it's too formal." Alton: "I know, but I didn't know what you were going to wear so I wouldn't make a mistake. What else should I change?" Sage: "I like the black shirt, just unbutton the three buttons... (unbuttons them) There you go. I see you didn't put eyeliner on. Feel free to accentuate your eyes, I love that." Alton (smiles): "Wouldn't that be too much? You know I wear it on a regular basis, but maybe it's not appropriate for this occasion..." Sage: "I always love your eyes, but when you frame them with black makeup - I'm mesmerized. I want other men to look ordinary in comparison to you." Alton (sighing): "I don't know what you're doing to my brain and other parts of my body, but you really make me feel powerful. I want you to feel that way tonight too." Sage (wink): "With you, I feel like I can do anything. (goes to the bathroom to get makeup)" Alton (looks down): "Hold on, please don't cause me trouble. (picks up eyeliner and starts putting it around his eyes)"

    Already at the entrance, they attracted attention with their appearance when they entered the school building, although there were still not many people. They ticked off Sage's name on the list, then walked over to a nearby bench and sat down. Alton (looking out the window): "I really like this part, you could probably sit on one of these benches and create something." Sage: "I never thought about it, but I wrote my first few stories in this building and got ideas for several of them. I also wrote a number of lyrics here, drew a lot of works... Who knows, if I was a very social person, I might not be so creative, because I spend all my energy on others. You and the boys from the band are not draining me, you know to get the best out of me. (looks around) Can we walk around the building? Alton: "I don't see a problem. (gets up) You'll just see what's different and maybe your perception of this place will change."

    Since the doors of the cabinet were open, they had the opportunity to see the interior of each of them. They went down the stairs to the music classroom and went inside. There was a picture of the choir on the wall, and Sage took a closer look. Alton (approaching): "Looking for yourself?" (points with his hand) Are you on this picture?" Sage (looks): "Yes, I was when we wore that clothes. (points with her finger) Here I am, I didn't turn out very well." Alton (kissing her on the cheek): "You're cute like this." Sage (gloomily): "Well, for them it wasn't cute, but funny." Alton (hugging her): "If someone didn't see beyond your appearance and didn't respect you as a person in the first place, that's not your fault and not your problem. If you were seen more as a human being, which you were, you would be at least a little more self-confident now, but understand that your appearance, no matter how you look in life, has nothing to do with what you deserve, it depends on you as a person. In a normal society, it would be like that, we would deserve good things by our good qualities, not by our good looks. (kisses her on the forehead) Although you are beautiful to me, I am still someone who looks first at mentality, and I want to make up for what you have missed in these years. Don't ask yourself if you deserve someone or something, the only thing you don't deserve is missing out on things in life because of insecurity and fear." Sage (looks at him longingly, shivers, then hugs him even tighter): "You have no idea how much you mean to me, how much your support means to me. I would like to one day be able to throw off those restraints and continue as a different person, but I think this is also a big step." Alton: "It is. A little insecurity is okay because it makes us better, both in work and in life, but it's not good when you literally stop living because of it." Sage: "Many times I tried to kill myself or hurt myself because of that feeling, even the unsuccessful suicide attempt after the tour was partly because of that. I was also mentally tired of everything. (sigh) Why do I lose my will and energy for everything so quickly? " Alton (looks at her): "I'm telling you that you still need anti-depressants, and you can only do that if you go to a psychologist. You can't have much influence there because changes occur in the brain, and with you it lasts for quite a long time. I don't think your brain even remembers what it looks like when things are fine, that's why I advise you to try medication because there's no way it's going to heal itself." Sage (nodding): "I know. We'll talk about that topic when we get back, I agree with you that it's too hard to function with depression, sometimes I really can't do it anymore. (sigh) I need to put myself together, I start to fall down again". Alton (takes her hand and starts singing quietly): "Void is all around us, deadly melody plays in our mind, sun above Blue Tower never existed, so let shadow take everything..." Sage (joins in): "We are broken robots in dust, trying to make our last sound, the eye of Blue Tower is closed, it can't see anything. Anything." Alton: " Inside of that darkness stands "Blue Tower" and I'm waving at you from the window. Other things are not important for now. If you're insecure, sing." Sage (smiles): "I admit it works." Alton (smiles): “Great. (sits at the piano) Then sing for me as if the world around us doesn't exist, and I'll play for you. (starts to play the song they practiced earlier, she accompanies him with her voice)"

    At the end of the composition, several applauses were heard behind them, they didn't even notice when several other people entered, including Sage's former music teacher, who came as soon as she heard the piano. Music teacher: "Are you, kids, professional musicians? How did you get here?" Sage (looks at Alton with a smile): "You could say we're professionals, since we've had a metal band for a while now. I wanted to thank you for inspiring me to love quality music, for enchanting me in the fifth grade when you sang a song from the textbook at the very beginning, I had never heard such a pleasant voice live before and it was a completely new experience for me. When you accepted me into the choir, I felt very proud of myself, as if it was a confirmation that I really know how to sing, that's why I tried to stay in it as long as possible even though it was exhausting for me to come to the rehearsals and even though I had the feeling that I was spoiling the image with my appearance, it was one of the things I was the most proud of at that time." Music teacher (surprised): "Sage! I remember, you were very withdrawn and quiet... How did you get into a metal band? (looks at her) I wouldn't recognize you if I saw you on the street, you've changed completely!" Sage: "I made the band "Blue Tower" about three and a half years ago, Alton plays keyboards in the band. (Alton shakes hand with the teacher) You could say we're doing well." The girl behind them: "Are you kidding me? Sage and Alton from "The Blue Tower" (scream) You guys are my favorite, I was at your concert during the summer vacation! (to teacher) I can't believe Sage went to this school... (to Sage and Alton) Can we take a picture later?" Sage (nodding): "Sure. (smile)" Girl: "Okay, I'm going to call my friend who also listens to you, she won't believe me! (leaves the classroom)" Music teacher (Sage): "It seems that the younger generations know you more, you're popular. (laughter) What's up with you, do you have a boyfriend? (wink)" Sage (points to Alton, they look into each other): "He is here with me. We came for our graduation anniversary, but we looked around a bit and I wanted to see pictures of the choir. Then he suggested that we perform a song to relax a bit, music calms me down." Music teacher: "That's fine, it was a pleasure to listen to. They started to gather downstairs, be careful not to be late." Alton (looks at his watch): "We've lost track of time, but it's okay, we're getting there. (he and Sage leave)" Music teacher: "So - "Blue Tower"? I'll take a look to see how you sound. If it was like this, then you must be great! (Alton and Sage say thank you, then leave the office and leave down)"

    They were there until nine in the evening, and then they went to the hotel. They were walking since it wasn't far and used opportunity to talk. Alton: "That girl asked me if we would have a concert here, I said that it was not a bad idea and that we can discuss that. Maybe I could play in my hometown too; if you dare to perform here - then I'll do my best too. Maybe it's time for me to face my demons too." Sage (grabbing his arm): "I'm here with you. You know you have mine and the whole band's support, you won't be alone." Alton: "You know, before I joined the band I felt so damn alone. I won't go into the more morbid details now, but I was very lonely, I was already deep in depression. I'm not completely free of that feeling either, but now I have you guys in my life. (turns to her) I'm especially glad to have you. (smile)" Sage: "I feel it's hard for you too, your eyes also get sad sometimes and you get lost in your thoughts... I know we can't completely banish each other's hard thoughts, but we can make such moments as easy as possible because we understand each other. You mean a lot to me." Alton: "You mean a lot to me too, Sage. (they reach the hotel) I enjoyed this walk with you, we should do this again as soon as possible." Sage: "We can go to nature tomorrow, I can take you to the places I used to go as a child." Alton: "Good. (they enter the hotel) We'll have a little picnic in nature, and now we're going to rest."

They entered the room, took off their shoes and looked at each other. Sage (blushing): "I guess you have some expectations for tonight, I hope I can fulfill them..." Alton (approaches her): "That's not why I came, I wanted to spend more time with you and that we get closer, but I didn't have an intercourse planned. (kiss her gently) Do you think I want our first time to be in a hotel room as if we are lovers hiding from someone, with the feeling that someone expects it from us? I value you much more than that. (stands behind her and opens the corset) Change your clothes, take off your makeup, and I'll change my clothes and lie down, and you come next to me." Sage (surprised): "Speaking of expectations, did the guys in the band tease you? (laughs)" Alton (laughs): "A little bit. It's fine, I don't pay attention, I know they don't have bad intentions. Anyway, I wouldn't really feel comfortable doing something so private in a hotel, I wouldn't be able to relax. So don't worry, it won't come to that tonight." Sage (looks around): "Maybe you're right, it really feels awkward when you're in a room that's not yours... I've never thought in that direction. (takes off makeup) For most people in a relationship, hotel rooms act like an aphrodisiac, and for you and me, vice versa. (laughter)" Alton (sitting on the bed and unbuttoning his shirt): "Look, it's not that your legs in a short skirt don't catch my attention, but... (laughter)" Sage (after removing her makeup): "Okay... (sits next to him on the bed) Then I'll sleep in this if you like it that much. I don't feel like changing clothes anyway. (lays down on the bed)" Alton (lays down next to her): "Now that you've taken off your makeup, I can finally kiss you as much as I want, (kisses her) I felt like a kid in a candy store. (kisses her neck)" Sage (sighing): "I know, I noticed." I didn't believe that anyone would ever have a crush on me. (laughter)" Alton (running his hands over her legs) I can hear from your breathing that you're reacting to me too, I admit I like it. (pulls his hand up and stops) I'd better hold back a bit so I don't have to again... take care of my stuff. (blush)"

    He pulled the blanket up to his waist and covered Sage, and then he felt her hand on his thigh, she slid her hand to the button of his jeans and undid it. She asked in a whisper: "Do you want me to take care of it? I made a mess, it would be fair if I cleaned it up." Alton (sighing deeply after the sound of the zipper): "Just... if you're sure... Oh... (feels a hand on his skin)"

   Even though it was her first time touching a man, she slowly coordinated her movements with Alton's reaction, until he let out his loudest sigh yet. Still breathing deeply, he turned to her and quietly said, "I didn't expect to end the day like this... Uh... I need to put myself together." Sage (kisses him on the cheek): "Okay, now you'll sleep better. Good night, Count." Alton (putting his arms around her waist): Good night, countess. (a smile)"

   Morning; Sage and Alton eat breakfast and head out of town, stopping at the place Sage mentioned. Since it's already cherry season, they went to the old cherry tree where Sage used to go as a child, it was a bit difficult to get there but they managed.

    Alton (putting up a picnic blanket): "It was hard to find this place, but it was worth it. (looks at the tree) At least we'll eat a lot of cherries. (laughs)" Sage (smiles): "Yeah. (puts cherry in mouth) They're ripe enough and tasty." Alton (getting closer): "Let me try. (kisses her) Um, they're delicious." Sage (laughs): "Take them and eat them normally. (hands him a cherry) When the sour cherries arrive, you can use them instead of your blood when... (pauses)" Alton: "So, you liked it last time as soon as you plan again! (laughs) Just kidding. (comes closer) Blood is the least of problems, only if you like it." Sage: "We can do it without blood. At least not yours. I don't want you to get hurt." Alton (pulling her close to him): "Well, you see, I don't want you to get hurt either, but you still do it. But okay, next time it will be without my blood, I promise, I won't worry you. But I told you to be carefull what you do, don't get stuck in the ER for that." Sage: "Don't worry. (rubs eyes) Either I'm really tired, or this nature is really so calm and makes me sleepy. (yawn)" Alton (lean his back against a tree): "Sleeping is sweetest in nature. (smile) Let's get some sleep and then we'll head home later, I'll be more rested for driving. (Sage puts her head on his torso) You're also right about us being tired, we've been worrying about a lot of things lately. I can't stop thinking about the fact that I almost lost you, I might as well be dead by now..." Sage: "Try not to think about it, we're both alive." Alton: "I'm trying, but I keep worrying that you won't get into that state again..." Sage (kisses him on the cheek): "Don't worry, I'm fine for now. I'm not jumping around with happiness, but it's tolerable. Are you okay?" Alton (surprised): "Me? Yes, why? Nothing is wrong with me. I'm a little worried about the family situation, but..." Sage: "You see, there is a problem. We have to work on it in the coming period, we have a concert there soon." Alton (nodding): "Okay, there's something to it. But now, at this moment, I don't want to think about it. Now I want to take a nap in nature together with you, nothing else matters to me."

     In the next month, Shade fully recovered from his injury, Reydan started a serious relationship with Olivia and was in a better mood than before, Hale renovated the baby's room. Alice was acting more and more strange and it couldn't be hidden anymore, Shade suspected she was lying to him that she was off drugs, but he never found any evidence among her things, so he couldn't accuse her without proof. Alton and Sage didn't go any further as far as intimacy was concerned, only repeating what they had already done on several occasions. They added several dates for concerts in their country, including one in Sage's hometown and one in the place where Alton's father lives, even though he was afraid to face him and the memories.

   Cloudy day; The band members took the day off after three consecutive days of rehearsals. Alton is reading a book in the room, music comes from the bathroom along with Sage singing. He got up and went to the door, knocked but she didn't hear him, so he opened it slowly. She was in a bubble bath, so absorbed in the song "Do not Disturb" by the band Halestorm that she didn't even notice when Alton entered. He wanted to sneak out, but she flinched and turned off the music. Sage (covering her breasts with her hands): "When did you come in? I didn't hear you." Alton: "I heard music so I wondered what it was, you don't usually play music while bathing. I apologize for intruding. (looks down) You don't have to hide them, I already saw them in several occasions." Sage (blushing): "I know, but I can't get used to it. No problem, everything is fine, I played music to relax better..." Alton (curiously): "Why you played that song? Since I don't see any blood - so you didn't hurt yourself, then what were you doing? Judging by your deep breathing, I can assume, considering your right hand was under water." Sage (blushing even more): "Okay, I did. I played music so I could feel that energy, only with music I can completely let go and actually enjoy it, to be present in this moment as I always think ahead. Pathetic, I know." Alton: "You know, that's not a bad idea. (plays that song again and starts undressing) You've satisfied me on more than one occasion, and you never let me pay you back - maybe now is the time. (enters the tub, Sage looks away as he enters) Of course, if you want to." Sage (getting closer to him leaning on her knees): "Try, but I have to warn you I am quiet, I don't know if you'll make it." Alton (kissing her passionately): "I'll know by your breathing if nothing else."

   He trailed his hand down her back as he moved his lips over her neck and cleavage, then his hand got even lower, searching for her most sensitive spot. His other hand was on her hips at first, slowly shifting direction until he resumed where she had stopped before he entered. Sage's breathing became deeper, soon she let out a sigh that he had never heard from her before, so he slowly stopped moving his fingers. They kissed again passionately, feeling the body of the other on their skin like never before. Alton then resumed the game from a moment ago, but Sage said with a sigh: "I have... another idea." (takes his hands, wraps herself in a towel and they get out of the tub and the bathroom together)" Alton (surprised): "What do you have in mind?" Sage (takes out the protection from the drawer): "Put this on." Alton (surprised): "Are you sure?" Sage (stroking his skin): “Yeah. It was enough of waiting. I want you."

    As the Scorpions' song "Rock you like a Hurricane" blasted from the speakers, Sage and Alton completely let go of the moment. He had his back against the head of the bed, while she was facing him, holding onto his shoulders, occasionally exchanging more kisses. Soon both of them reached the climax, remaining next to each other in embrace for a while.

   A few days later it was time for them to go on a tour to ten cities in other countries. They prepared their passports, packed their suitcases and instruments and set off. This time the band members had their own bus, while the other crew members were in the bus behind them. There was an excellent atmosphere in the bus, as always until then, they reached their first destination in the neighboring country relatively quickly. They had performances at metal festivals, so they adjusted the speed of the trip depending on that - somewhere they had to arrive the next day, somewhere they traveled at a slower pace, and they also managed to visit famous buildings, clubs, sports events - all depending on the person's interests. When they were done with all those festivals there was a performance in the city where Alton's mother went with his sister Valentina, he subconsciously hoped to meet her. He was worried he wouldn't recognize her because the last time he saw her was when she was five years old, she's in her twenties now so he has no idea what she looks like, if she even knows he's coming to town. It occurred to him that she might not live here anymore, various fatalistic thoughts came to his mind as well, but he still wished to meet her in order to renew contact with her.

   At their destination, fans of the band awaited them, there were more of them than the members had hoped for - they did not believe that they had become so popular. They went backstage, got ready and waited their turn behind the stage. Through the curtains, endless lines of people could be seen, both for them and for other performers, but there were never so many people at their performances as until now. They came on stage one by one, with the applause of the audience, and then the music started. They performed all the tracks they had planned and two encores, bowing to the audience at the end. After they bow to the audience, a pink teddy bear with a picture attached to it falls in front of Alton - it was Valentina's and his childhood picture!

    Alton (to Sage): "She is here, (shows the teddy bear and the picture) this was her teddy bear that I bought for her and she knew I'd recognize it!" Sage (nods, speaking through the microphone): "Can the person who threw the teddy bear on the stage raise her hand? (one girl raises her hand) Are you Valentina? (the girl confirms, Alton shivers) Come to the stage. (she moves slowly through the audience) People, let's do one big applause for Valentina, Alton's younger sister! (audience is cheering, Valentina climbs onto the stage)"

   Alton's eyes fill with tears, but he smiles when they see his sister and hugs her. They got off the stage together and went backstage.

  Valentina: "You were great! You've really perfected your playing." Alton: "How did you manage to find me?" Valentina: "I saw the poster for the festival, before you there was a band that I listen to, and then I saw the name of your band, I saw that you are from our country, so I was interested to find out more. I read the name and surname on the Internet and took a closer look at the picture, I realized that it was you! It's a coincidence!" Shade (to Valentina): "See, Vicky... Can I call you Vicky?" Valentina (smiles): "Of course." Shade: "Well, Vicky, there's no coincidence with this Alti of ours - we're all convinced his hocus-pocus magic works, we think he's some kind of wizard. Sage isn't far off either from that, and she often predicts things, you can see that they are made for each other." Alton: "I told you I don't have powers... I have some paranormal abilities sometimes, but I'm not a wizard. (laughs, turns to his sister) Have you finished school, do you have someone? Where is mother, is she still married to that man?" Valentina: "I studied psychology, I'm currently on internship and I should soon get a job as a therapist. I have a boyfriend, we've been together for a year. Mom... I see her during the holidays. She's still with that man you couldn't stand, so I doubt you want to see them." Alton (looks at the others): "What do you think, should I stop by her place before I go? On the one hand, she distanced sister from me and cut off contact completely, she didn't ask about me all these years, and on the other hand, I don't know when I'll have the chance to see her again." Reydan: "Maybe it's better not to open that wound. If she hasn't asked about you or mentioned you by now, forget it." Hale: "Maybe it's better to meet her and find out why it happened that way." Sage: "I only support Hale's idea if you have the strength to do it. If you're not sure, listen to Reydan." Alton (to Valentina): "Tomorrow you will take me to her place to finally find out her side of the story, but tonight I dedicate to you, we will talk all night if necessary and I will not lose you again, now I will have your contact." Sage: "The rest of us are going to sleep, call if you need us. (kisses him on the cheek)" Alton: "Okay, good night everyone. (waves to the others and continues talking to his sister)"

   In the morning, Valentina and Alton went to their mother's house. A woman with dark hair but brown eyes like Valentina's opened the door, surprised that Valentina brought a guest. Mother (at the door): "Is this a friend of yours?" Valentina: "This is Alton. Our Alton." Mother (startled): "You came to find us?! You traveled all the way here to see us?" Alton: "I had a gig with a band, I'm a musician, I didn't even know if I'd find you. Well, since I'm here, I won't stay long - we have to return back today anyway - I just want to know why you cut off contact with me completely." Mother: "I took Valentina because I got custody of her, while father got custody of you, but he completely cut off information about you, he even changed his phone number. Wish I could have taken you with me, but I barely got Valentina out of his reach, he used the fact that I found another man before the divorce as proof of cheating, he wanted to take you just to get revenge. Valentina was fine here, but I was worried about you. Did he beat you?" Alton (shudders): "He couldn't even if he wanted to, I was big enough to defend myself. (inhales and exhales) All right, now I understand the situation. (pause) You have phone numbers and other contacts at Valentina's, I have to go now, but I'll be back sometime. I'll put myself together until then. (he leaves, mother stops him)" Mother: "Wait! I see you after so many years and you just leave? Don't you want to stay a little longer?" Alton (nodding his head): "The bus is waiting for me. Anyway, after this conversation I understand how things are, but I'll solve it with him. (hugs Valentina) Take care, I'll come when we'll have a break from performing so we'll talk more. Before that I have other things to deal with." Mother (as he walked towards the gate): "Don't do anything to him, don't go to jail because of him - he's not worth it!" Alton (turning his head and nodding): "And I hope he doesn't lead me to that. (goes away)"

    On the bus, Hale mentioned working on a new album before child gets born, so that was the deal for the next period. They discussed the concept, which subgenres they would like to have in the songs, which audience it would primarily be intended for. Sage said that she would bring the thirteen best lyrics into the practice room tomorrow and easily adapt them to make them even better. They agreed on one thing, and that is that the next album has to be even better in order to secure their position among metal bands.

    At night, Sage wakes up and doesn't find Alton in bed, so she gets up and looks around the house for him. He sat alone on the terrace, staring thoughtfully in front of him. Sage (comes up to him, worried): "What's bothering you?" Alton: "I'm thinking about the past, and I shouldn't. (gets up) Let's go inside." Sage (following him): "You've been like this since this morning, I'm worried about you because I've never seen you so depressed." Alton (coldly): "I'm fine, I just don't know what to think and do anymore. It doesn't matter. (walks into the room)" Sage (nods sadly): "Okay, I see. You need to be alone. (louder) I'll be in my room if you need me. (goes to her former room)."

    They started working on the first songs during the week, and then again started with the shows they had scheduled earlier. Alton was becoming more and more withdrawn and silent, which was tearing Sage apart. She knew there was a problem, but she couldn't quite reach him. Hale and Meryan planned to take a short vacation before her late pregnancy, just in time for the others to record their parts for the album. Hale was very happy to become a father and he was with Meryan as often as he could, that's why he was in a hurry to finish the contracted performances as soon as possible so that he could be home as often as possible.

    For the umpteenth time, Alice had sneaked out of the house at night to get drugs, but this time Shade was awake when she returned. Shade (suspiciously): "Where have you been this late?" Alice (nervously): "I'm not messing around with anyone else, if that's what you're afraid of." Shade: "It would be better if that was the issue, (searches her pockets and finds cocaine) but its this! If you cheated on me, I would probably forgive you, but I warned you about this! Hell no, you have to go to treatment, I won't hear a word about it. Either you're going to stop doing this by the time I get back, which I highly doubt you'll do knowing you, or I'm personally taking you to the best clinic to cure you of your addiction." Alice: "So, that's an ultimatum, huh? Then I'm giving you ultimatum - either you stop being paranoid until you come back, or I pack my things and leave you!" Shade (eyes wide open): "You wouldn't do that, I know you love me as much as I love you!" Alice: "Yes, but it's all for nothing if you're going to act like this. (goes into the room and slams the door) "

   Reydan walked by the river with Olivia, they bought ice cream and talked about various topics. Olivia: "Will you be away for a long time?" Do you ever have a hard time when you're on the road for a long time?" Reydan: "I didn't before, but now, since I'm in a relationship with you, it's very hard. (she smiles) I've never had someone I want to stay next to, who I want to see every day. I confessed my promiscuous past to you, after all, you read it in the media because that's all they know to write about when it comes to me, but I really want to change that. I'm a romantic soul and I want to love and be loved, I want to have a family with the woman I love. I want to dance under the moonlight, kiss as the sun sets, wake up with the sound of birds in a soft satin bed... I'm sick of waking up in other's beds, taxi drivers who already know me well because I return to my house early in the morning alone even after dating so many girls... I assure you, I've cleared it, I'm turning over a new page in my life." Olivia: "Are you sure that all those girls cleared up with you? What if one of them shows up and wants you back, or to have your child?" Reydan (waving his hand): "I don't believe it, even if one of them begged me to be with her - I wouldn't. And for the child... No, I'm always careful. It only happened to me once, otherwise I've never put myself or them at risk." Olivia: "Okay, I'm giving you a chance anyway, don't waste it. If there are any problems, I don't want to be part of those dramas." Reydan (smiles): "I said I wanted one girl, and it's you, I keep my word." Olivia (smiles): "I hope you will."

    The band is on a trip again, but this time much shorter. Reydan and Hale are sitting together, a few seats ahead of the others, Shade is sleeping, Alton and Sage are sitting with headphones on, not talking at all. Reydan (turns around and looks at the three of them): "It's like all their ships have sunk - how are we going to have a concert like this? They can barely concentrate on recording their parts, I doubt it will be any better at the concert." Hale: "Shade is on the verge of breaking up with Alice, she started taking drugs and his best friend died from it at a very young age, so he's afraid not to lose her." Reydan: "I know that, Alice won't go to treatment and threatens to break up, but what can he do if she won't go? I know he cares about her, he can just report her and they'll take her there, I doubt she'd like that." Hale: "Better to protest than to die, should he leave her to die so young? He's right, she'd better pull herself out in time. Then it gets worse, they switch to these stronger drugs, and when they're gone they take anything and everything, there are those drugs that destroy your flesh." Reydan (shuddering): "Oh, God forbid, it makes me sick even when I think about it. (looks at Sage and Alton) And them? He's been like that ever since he talked to his mother, I said that it's a bad idea. I guess Sage is like that because of him, you can see that they hardly talk. (quieter) I'm afraid she'll try to kill herself again, or they'll kill himself together." Hale (looks at him): "They're having a bad period, that's normal. Once that problem is solved, everything will be back to normal." Reydan: "You seem to forget who we're talking about." Hale: "And your ships, how do they sail? (laughter)" Reydan: "Great. I decided to propose to Olivia when we finish the album." Hale (surprised): "Already? Is she pregnant?" Reydan: "No, we didn't even sleep together." Hale (surprised again): "You and the chastity? Oh, you are right that everything has gone to hell here! The loudest and wittiest member is constantly worried, the lovers barely speak and no more kiss or embrace each other, you refrain from intimate act - it looks like it's my turn to go insane, so we can all go you know where!" Reydan: "Hey, don't compare me to them, I don't have a problem! I'm really trying to change my habits." Hale: "That's it - I decided to go to church!" Reydan (surprised): "But you're an atheist, you don't believe in God." Hale: "Well, when you all go to hell, I'll go to God. When we're all messed up in this band, here I am to contribute too. Now when we get there I'll go to church and pray to God - maybe he will restore our sanity." Reydan: "You're so electrified, you'll end up becoming a monk - calm down, man. Not even God can help us. I hope that this period will also pass quickly."

   The first two performances were in two larger cities where they had already performed before, everyone gave their best on stage, although it was obvious that everything was more a matter of practice than feeling. The crowd was in good mood enough not to notice, but Reydan and Hale worried that the quality of the show would drop if it continued like this, and thus the audience would be disgruntled and they would lose fans. Sage agreed with them and was aware that she was part of the problem too, but she didn't want them to discuss the topic with Shade and Alton so they wouldn't leave the band. She asked Hale and Reydan for the three of them to cover for Shade's and Alton's lack of energy and concentration, since she was also used to performing even when her condition worsened, at least until their personal situations were sorted out.

   The third show was in Alton's hometown, which intrigued and scared Sage at the same time. Will he change after being here? Will he finally get better, or will he turn completely cold and push her away? He mentioned his ex-girlfriend early on - what if he makes up with her? She knew she wouldn't be able to bear it if all of this just disappeared, she couldn't live anymore with being rejected by the only person she truly loved in her life and who she barely let near after a lifetime of loneliness. It would be like someone ripping her heart out.

   They had their performance on the second day, on the first day they did sound tuning and practice. After that, Alton was talking to his friend from the high school away from the others, Sage didn't want to listen to the conversation of the two friends, but it seemed to her that they were also mentioning her, so she hid behind the wall where they didn't see her.

   Friend: "I remember you from the period when you were still dating Linda, she was really a hot chick... You don't look bad now either, on the contrary, why didn't you find someone at least as attractive as Linda was? You know that little Stella who looked like a disaster? You should see now - a bomb! She doesn't want me, who knows why, but she would definitely want you." Alton: "I already have a girlfriend, thanks for the offer." Friend: "Who, that singer of yours? I wouldn't even touch her with a stick. (Alton frowns) Are you falling to that rock bottom after dating Linda? You're completely messed up. Listen, later I'll arrange a drink with Stella or any woman worthy of you, you'll see how your sense of instant taste will return; Why do you settle for garbage that no one wants? (Sage's eyes fill with tears, she stops listening and quickly walks out of the building)" Alton (furiously): "If you say one more word to insult Sage, I'm going to beat you like I've never beaten anyone in my life! Okay, Linda was hot - what I had from it? I don't give a damn if they're attractive if I feel nothing for them! I'd die for Sage anytime, I love her, I want her to stay with me for the rest of my life. What you don't see is her intelligence, her empathy, her talent for art and other qualities that make me want her around. And those "hotties" of yours, as you call them, deserve better than someone like you who only stares at their cleavage and bottom, you jerk! They have their virtues and feelings too, but to you they are just someone you drag into bed to brag about, like many of you bragged about sleeping with Linda. It's good that Sage hadn't heard those horrible words you uttered, she would have lost what little self-confidence she had left from such superficial fools. (goes out)"

    Sage locked herself in her hotel room and cried, but she still had hope that Alton wouldn't go there after all, that he had turned down the offer. She wiped her tears and went out into the hall, where Hale was. Hale (concerned): "Did you cry?" Sage: "My eyes got a bit teary, it's probably an allergy... It doesn't matter. Have you seen Alton?" Hale: "Yes, he couldn't find you, so he told me to tell you that he has some business and won't be around for a while, so don't worry." Sage (numb): "So, he did go there... If he comes back and ask where I am, tell him I went for a walk. I won't bring my phone, he doesn't have to call me." Hale: "Do you have any problems?" Sage: "He'll have one problem less and I'll have none. (leaves)" Reydan (leaves the room): "What happened? Where's Sage going?" Hale: "Looks like she and Alton had a fight, looks serious to me this time." Reydan: "Oh, damn it! We just needed a fight! (grabs his head) You'll see, we're going to really fall apart by the end." Hale: "Maybe everything will work out, don't worry so much." Reydan (sarcastically): ,,Your optimism gives me great confidence, Hale. I'm just sure everything will magically work itself out and be perfect in the end."

    Alton returned to the hotel two hours later, saw Reydan in the lobby and approached him. Alton: "Did Sage ask where I was? I hope she wasn't worried, I had to solve something that has been bothering me for a long time, I feel much easier now and I want to compensate her for this previous period, I was cold towards her and she was by my side the whole time." Reydan: "She's gone somewhere, Hale knows better because she told him. (knocks on the door) Hale, come out for a second. (Hale exits) Where did Sage go?" Hale: "She told me to tell you she's out for a walk and won't bring her phone, so don't call her." Alton (turns pale): "Did she say where she's going?" Hale: "No. That was two hours ago, she should be back by now. No one else annoyed her, except that fight with you." Alton (surprised): "What fight with me? We didn't fight at all. (leaves) I'm going to see where she is, maybe she got lost somewhere and doesn't know how to return back. I really don't understand what's going on."

    He asked the people at a nearby stand if they saw the direction she went, they pointed towards the end of town and said that about two hours ago a girl similar to his description asked where the river was, that she had seen it on online maps but that she wanted to confirm. Alton gets upset because, knowing Sage, that can hardly be good. He took a taxi and said driver to drive by the river, hoping nothing had happened to her.

  During this time, Sage finally reached the river. There was a small pedestrian bridge nearby and there was no one there, so she went to it. The river was calm and its sound was barely audible, but that's why Sage's footsteps could be heard on the narrow bridge. Step by step, she reached the middle and stared at the river. Nothing mattered anymore, except the smooth surface of the water that scared her a little with its unpredictability, but in the end it would still give her what she was here for.

     Alton spotted her on the bridge and was relieved that nothing had happened to her, paid the taxi driver and got out. He walked towards her, but quickened his pace when she climbed the fence and then jumped into the water. Alton ran, took off his jacket and jumped into the water, quickly reaching her since she was a non-swimmer and knew she would have drowned.

    Alton (holding her above the water): "Sage, what's going on? Did your condition worsen again? Why didn't you say anything to me?!" Sage (trying to break away): "Let me go! I don't want you to save me because I don't need any saving, after all, why do you need someone whom no one would touch even with a stick? I hear there are better options, like some girl Stella, I'm sorry your date is ruined because of me. (tries to break away)" Alton (sigh): "Oh, you heard that idiot... Listen, he's an immature fool who didn't grow intellectually since the high school, he never even had a serious relationship. After all, I told him what I thought about it, I argued with him, I won't let anyone humiliate you. I didn't go to any dates, I went to my father, I've said everything I had to his face. I wanted to give him a second chance, to see if he could be man, but it seems he can't. I've been waiting for this ever since we came back from abroad, I couldn't calm down, but now I feel much better." Sage: "I'm sorry for reacting so quickly and blaming you for no reason, but why couldn't you just say what's going on? I thought you were mad at me or bored of me." Alton: "To get bored of you? No way! Come on, we have to get out of this water, we're soaking wet."

     He called a taxi to pick them up, while they sat on the bank of the river talking. Alton: "Because of things like this I tell you not to take everyone's opinion seriously, to not define yourself by what they think of you. After all, you heard what I replied to him afterwards, I guess my opinion counts more." Sage: "Actually... The last thing I heard was that you don't need garbage that nobody wants, I couldn't take it anymore." Alton (breathing out): "My silly one, you should have stayed a little longer and heard how I said that you are smart, caring, talented... After all, people sometimes throw quality things. How many times has it happened that someone buys something for ridiculous amount of money, and then it turns out to be something valuable and suddenly everyone regrets that they didn't buy it? It's their fault that they do not know the value of what they have rejected. (kisses her) I'm a collector, I know what it's worth." Sage (bites her lip): "I'm sorry to spoil the moment, but one topic is tormenting me, I have to open it even though it's uncomfortable." Alton: "Of course, there are no secrets." Sage: "That friend of yours mentioned Linda, your ex-girlfriend... What happened to that?" Alton (sigh): "It's a bit of a difficult subject, but you should know anyway as we're in a relationship. Namely, I started a relationship with her in high school, back then I also played keyboards so people knew me for that at school, with the exception that I was not sociable and I preferred to read rather than go out with people. Linda was more sociable and communicative, on the one hand that suited me because I was silent. I thought that after high school I would start a life together with her and I had serious intentions, but after a while I heard rumors that she was cheating on me, and then I saw for myself. She was constantly in other people's company and I tolerated it as long as I could, but it wasn't all the same to me when they were talking about me behind my back. The last straw was when I found her in bed with my childhood best friend, then we had a fierce argument and she told me a lot of things, I realized that she didn't want anything serious with me, that I meant almost nothing to her. She went to another city with this one high school friend of ours after we graduated, and I started to fall apart. You already know that I also had a bad situation at home because of my father, that he beat me when I was a child and that we always had a tense relationship because he never wanted me, I felt completely alone when Linda left because I had at least someone no matter what she was, with the fact that now as an older person I know that that relationship was bad for me. It was at that time that I got this scar that I have on my chest, I turned to occult teachings, I thought about suicide. I made a deal with myself to try something with music and, if I didn't succeed, to kill myself, no one needed me anyway. Soon I saw your ad, you know the rest." Sage (hugging him tightly): "Now we need you in the band, and I need you the most. You also have many fans, but the four of us are always there for you." Alton (kisses her forehead): I know. I wouldn't change the band even if much more popular bands called me to go to them, and I wouldn't change you for any girl, we need each other. By the way, as for Linda, you don't have to worry about me ever meeting her again, that's what I should mention too. She's dead." Sage (startling): "You mean, dead to you?" Alton: "No, really dead. She was killed. The one she left with shot her out of jealousy, he is still in prison. That's why I once said I knew someone who killed someone, it was shortly after I joined the band." Sage (sadly): "She hurt you, but it's a shame. He could have just left her, not to kill her so young, that's sad." Alton: "I admit that I was sorry that it ended that way, but she was aware that he was a dangerous person and that he was prone to aggressive behavior, and yet she left with him. She also had problems with her father, that's why I was with her because we shared the pain from that side, but in the end she left with someone who took her life, and not with the one who was there for her and who loved and understood her. Even if she was alive, I wouldn't go back to the old ways, this way I try not to think much about it out of respect, it wouldn't be appropriate." Sage (nodding): "Maybe it's better not to say harsh words, it's really a shame it happened like this, that she didn't have the chance to live her life anyhow." Alton: "Yes. (sees taxi) I mentioned to the taxi service that we were wet because we fell into the river, they said they would cover our seats. (laughter) We're going to the hotel to take this off, we can't catch a cold, and you need a healthy throat to sing too."

    They returned to the hotel around four o'clock in the afternoon. Hale (seeing them in wet clothes): "You went swimming? At least you could have taken your clothes off. (laughter)" Reydan (eyes wide open, looks at Hale): "What did I tell you, you see they tried to kill themselves together!" Alton (waves his hand): "I didn't try to kill myself." Reydan (looks at them, then turns to Hale again): "What did I tell you, you see Sage tried to kill herself again!" Sage (grabs the bridge of her nose and closes her eyes for a moment): "Everything is fine, there was just a minor misunderstanding, we resolved it after talking."

Reydan: "Couldn't you have talked here instead of in the water? No, you two are really going to die one day." Sage: "Let's go change, then we're going to watch the football game. Where's Shade?" Hale: "He's in the room, playing games... (pause) Since when do you watch the football games?" Sage: "I don't, but we have to get Shade out of the room. I don't know what the teams are called like, but I know that one of them have dark blue jerseys, so I'm cheering for them. (smile)" Hale (laughs): "It's the first time I've heard someone choose who they're cheering for based on the color of the jersey. Come on, go get changed, we'll get ready too."

    All five sat in the stands and watched the game. Shade (pointing to one player): "The one with the bald head is rocking! You'll see, he'll be in a much stronger club one day." Hale: "You see this blondie from the opposing team? Watch him shoot, if he doesn't score - no one will!" Shade: "The one I told you is stronger - you want to make a bet? Look, I trained football for ten years, if I wasn't a drummer I'd be a football player, so you have in mind that I understand a lot about it." Hale (shakes hands): "It's valid, fifty euros for the blue team to win." Shade: "The reds are winning, they're playing better." Reydan: "We get the bet! Let's see who's going to win."

   The blue team led before the first half, but the red team overtook their score and won 3:1, so Shade won the bet.

   Shade (counting the money after the game): "I told you, I understand football well. (looks at the others) I'll save this, so I'll buy you some jam at Grandma Ruza's when we have a concert near my birthplace." Reydan (smiled): "Original! Everyone buys a drink, and you buy a jam." Shade (in a good mood): "I'll buy a drink if you want, there are also homemade syrups! (quieter) And grandfather Radivoje prepares homemade brandy, for you children who don't like juice... (wink)" Reydan: "Ha, ha, traditional man! (laughter) We will drink brandy at your place, and then wine in Sage's area... Will we be sober until the end? (laughter)" Alton (laughter): "As much as we've been performing lately, let's give ourselves a break, we deserve it." Hale: "It was about time to have a concert in your hometowns, Reddy and I are from where we live anyway, and we already had a lot of performances there. We'll also use opportunity to go around the country." Shade (looks at the phone): "It's only seven o'clock, let's go for a walk around the city, Alton will show us around. Those from the team that came with us have gone who knows where, let's get lost somewhere, too." Alton (nodding): "Let's go then, I'll take you on a tour."

   At the next concert, everything was like before, there was a great atmosphere again. After a concert near Shade's hometown, Shade fulfilled his promise and took them all to a peaceful village. It was clear to them that Shade had inherited his grandfather's sense of humor. Shade showed them where he used to play as a child, he was in a great mood as he reminisced about fond childhood memories and spent time with his grandparents who took care of him. The others were very glad about that, but they were aware that the situation would worsen when he returned home and faced Alice's situation again.

   There is one more concert left. They performed in the Sports Hall in front of an audience of different ages, Sage recognized some of the people she knew. Some of those faces hit her harder because of her memories, but then she turned and, seeing the guys from the band, realized that she didn't want those bad memories to ruin what she had now. She knew it was impossible to completely erase the heavy feeling left over from the past and that she would probably carry that burden on her soul forever, just like the boys carried their memories, but she wanted it to stop defining her. She was a mockery for these people before, and here she returns as someone they wanted to see, someone they are proud of. She found it ironic.

   When they finished, they went to a nearby hotel, and in the morning they toured the town and its surroundings. Since they were filming with camera in all the places, they had a little documentary about the band members, adding Hale and Reydan's part that was filmed at home. They have put the entire video online, as well as videos they have recorded before, official music videos and other songs from other albums. Fans loved the spontaneous video clips, especially those with humor, and often made compilations of their favorite situations or posted them separately.

   Upon their return, they returned to work on the album, and after three months they had all the songs ready. They hired a successful music video director to work on the first music video from the album, they wanted to release the single and music video first and only then the whole album. They scheduled an agreement with him about what the video would look like.

   Director: "So, I looked a little bit at your style and came to the conclusion that you now need a video that will intrigue people and leave them in disbelief. I noticed that all of you except Shade are extremely modest, and we all know that if you want to be talked about not only about the video, but also about you, you have to intrigue the fans a little with your appearance, with your body." Reydan: "In this band, only I was a seducer, and I've calmed down since I've been in a serious relationship, but all in all, we're not like that... Nudity isn't our scene, you know. Except for Hale, who has a bit more muscle, the rest of us are average, so I don't really know. " Hale: "Okay, well, I'm overall muscular, but I don't really have abs on my stomach. We look more or less like average people, that's what the audience likes about us." Director (rolling his eyes): "You don't have to look perfect live, with the right framing you can get something out of almost everyone. After all, I don't make adults movies, I only subtly emphasize what can be emphasized, just enough to intrigue." Alton: "I don't think it can be connected with our concept and the theme of the song, it's better to go in the direction of brutality than nudity." Director: "The song is about baring your soul in front of someone, so my concept is to express hidden fantasies, to tickle people's imaginations by putting on different fetishes. It's dark enough for your metal concept, and it's going to appeal to other audiences." Shade: "Well, I don't have any special bizarre fantasies." Director: "It doesn't matter, you're going to act one! There will be more people, various equipment and so on..." Hale: "In less than half a year I will become a father, what will my son think one day when he sees those scenes?" Director: "For God's sake, how many actors get completely naked in front of the cameras and don't think about it! Even the stars of adult movies probably don't even think about that topic, and you're giving me drama because of a few mildly acted scenes." Sage: "Your concept is interesting, but as the author of the song's lyrics, I note that there's really no need for it, the concept of the song is about an emotional connection, not so much about a physical one..." Director: "You, for example, will be in a negligee since you're a little chubby in wrong places - no offense, but it won't show in the clip with good framing." Sage (surprised): "In a piece of clothing that completely exposes the arms? It's out of the question." Reydan: "You don't seem to have noticed that Sage NEVER reveals her arms. Here, we've known her for four years, we've never seen her in t-shirts that reveal her arms, Alton doesn't count." Director: "That's exactly why, it's something no one expects! Well, when I look at her like this, I would never expect a seductress, and people love that kind of change!" Sage: I don't think you understand; I have a lot of scars on my arms, some on my neck and chest, also I'm a very strict person when it comes to dressing and I barely adapted my style to the stage wardrobe. I don't know how smart the idea is to show those scars because they can have a negative effect on someone, there are a lot of young people in the audience." Director: "I already said that nothing is a problem, we can come up with some trick with a bolero or something to cover that part, but that excuse in the end is not valid as you already cut your skin in the performances, so it's no secret. It can even be used in the video, it's intriguing enough. Like some BDSM scene or something like that." Sage: "I don't want any concept of BDSM, I don't understand why we're still discussing this when we're all against it." Director (sigh): "I give you the freedom to express your most hidden and bizarre fantasies without consequences, and you want something ordinary that has been seen in every other metal video? Okay. Then we're going to direct a video where you just stand in some dark place and play, just like almost all the videos I've seen lately. Very creative." Alton: "Maybe we just don't do bizarre things, maybe we don't even have any special fantasies that go to extremes." Director: "Okay, well then - what's the most bizarre thing you've done?" Alton (looks at Sage, she nods): "I wouldn't call it very bizarre, but we drank blood from each other's bodies with making a cut on each other. She insisted that at least I don't hurt myself anymore, so for now I'm taking her blood with my lips, even tho I don't mind if it's mutual." Shade (remembering): "So that's why you had cuts a few months ago? Oh, man, I was scared that you started it too, but you stopped so I didn't ask anything." Alton (to Shade): "There were only a few and they weren't deep, but I admit it was exciting. (laughs)" Reydan (looks at them and laughs): "I'm not surprised at all that you two are playing vampires, just don't go overboard and lose too much blood." Sage: "Don't worry, we're not losing much blood, it was more symbolic. (looks at Alton and bites her lip) In any case, it was nice. (Alton and her look each other seductively)" Director: "Yes, I love it, I can use that for my concept! (looks at Hale) You seem dominant to me, you're going to have some BDSM story." Hale: "What will my wife say about that?!" Director: "Great idea, feel free to ask her what ideas she has. (to Reydan) You're going to do something in the style of the movie "Eyes Wide Shut", some swinger gathering." Reydan: "Oh, I remember that. I mean, parties like that, not a movie. (smiles)" Director (to Shade): , "You had that provocative picture in the past, Shade?" Shade: "Yes. I have no problem with nudity." Director: "Then you will be a stripper in the video, you are the bravest of them all. Of course, we'll censor the most private part like in that picture." Shade: "No problem, I like it. I'll get a pole to practice a little bit. (laughs)" Director: "We'll shoot the video next week, you have time to mentally prepare for that." Sage: "But we didn't all consent!" Director: "Oh, come on, Alton and you just have to do what you normally do, it's the easiest for you." Sage (to Hale): "Hale, do you still have my cyanide pill? I need it urgently." " Hale: "I don't have it, we destroyed it a long time ago." Sage: "Well, damn it." Alton (takes her hand): "We'll think about boundaries at home, say what you definitely don't want and no one will force you beyond that, okay?" Director: "There you go, we can do that, by the law I can't force you to do anything - set boundaries, but the video must be provocative, is that clear?" Everyone nodded, although not everyone was comfortable with embarking on the project.

     After that conversation, they returned to their homes. Shade entered his empty apartment, considering that Alice fulfilled her promise and left, in these three months he got used to being completely alone, but he didn't like it, he missed her. He was worried about her - did her health deteriorate, did she take care of herself, was she now a serious addict, was she dead by now? He loved her and couldn't bear not having any information about her. Having no peace, he took his jacket and went outside, hoping to meet her by chance while wandering the streets, even if he could see her from a distance. It hadn't happened in the previous month that he had been doing it, but he was willing to try again and again until he found her.

      Reydan got dressed in a formal suit and went to pick up Olivia, then they had dinner at a fancier restaurant. Reydan (after dinner): "I've been preparing for this moment for months, but I'm still nervous...Uh... Okay, I can do it. (pause) So - Olivia, in these few months you have completely changed my world and me as a person. You have made me a more mature man who is ready for new responsibilities, and I want to spend my life with you. (takes out the box with the ring) Do you want to marry me?

    Olivia was about to answer, when one of the guests accidentally hit Reydan in the aisle. She wanted to apologize and turned to him, and then Reydan recognized her as Janet from a few months ago, but with a bigger pregnant belly. Counting in his head the time he was with her and looking at her stomach, he turned completely pale and drank the entire glass of wine.

   Janet: "I'm sorry, Reydan, I didn't even know you were here... I would have chosen another restaurant if I had known you would be here with a girl." Olivia: "You know each other?" Janet: "Not very well, but you can tell by my belly that I definitely remembered him." Olivia (looks at Reydan): "What does this mean?" Reydan (pours another glass to put himself together): "Remember I told you that I once happened to not put on protection? That was a few months ago, when I came back from the tour. This is Janet, I spent the night with her shortly before I met you. I don't have to say anything, the situation is clear. (grabs his head)" Olivia (looks at Reydan and then at Janet's pregnant belly): "You're right, it's clear. (gets up and leaves)"

    Janet (surprised): "Aren't you going to follow her?" Reydan: "What's the point. (pours more drink) What can I tell her, that all this isn't true? It's mine, isn't it?" Janet: "I wouldn't have said anything if it wasn't, but at that time I didn't have anyone else, so I'm sure. Unfortunately. I thought about having an abortion, but I was afraid that I would become infertile afterwards. I should have found you at the beginning and made an agreement with you, now it's too late. I'll do a DNA test as fast as possible so you'll have proof, but I'm sure even without it, I don't want it to come across as imposing anything. I don't want a relationship with you, I don't want you to have any obligation to me." Reydan: "If it turns out to be mine, and it probably will, I'll definitely participate with the money for support. (laughs to himself) I'm such a unlucky man - I fall in love with a person for the first time in my life, I want to settle down and - there is nothing out of it! " Janet (concerned): "Are you okay?" Reydan (spreading his arms): "I'm great! (people look at him, he writes down his phone) Here, call if you need anything and to let me know about the baby's condition. (takes bottle of wine from other people's table and leaves them money) Sorry to steal this bottle from you, but I need it more. It's not healthy to drink a lot anyway, take care of yourself a little bit. (leaves the restaurant)"

   Shade, tired of wandering around the city and looking at every corner and club he passed, was returning to the apartment. He noticed a drunk man walking in the middle of a busy road, swearing at drivers who were honking at him to get out of the way. He comments: "Look at this fool, if he doesn't get run over by some cars tonight, nobody will" - and then he takes a closer look at the man as soon as he gets a little closer, startled when he realizes who it is. "Damn, it's Reydan! Reddy, run away from there, you will die!"

     He carefully reached him and led him to the sidewalk. Shade (in disbelief): "What the hell are you doing, trying to kill yourself?! Admittedly, you'd have to have at least a little sobriety for that, and you're drunk as hell. What happened?" Reydan: "I'm going to be a father." Shade: Olivia is pregnant?! (smile)" Reydan: "No, Janet is pregnant." Shade: "Who's Janet?" Reydan (teary eyes): "Mistake, Shade. Big mistake." Shade (helping him keep his balance): "Come on, let's go to my apartment so you can sleep there, and we'll talk about it tomorrow. I'm not going to call the others now, it's late. (sigh) It's a good thing I was here, it's only a matter of time before you would get run over by a vehicle."

     The evening; Sage is in her earlier room, in front of the mirror, dressed in a thin transparent nightgown and underwear. She looked at herself from different angles, but she was by no means satisfied with her figure and she didn't like the idea of being dressed like this in the video, she thought of rebelling against it. Alton knocked on the door and opened it, all the while looking at her after entering. Sage (looks at him): "That man is crazy, this can't look right. After all, it would be embarrassing for me - just as I wouldn't go outside like this now, I wouldn't be in a music video that will be seen by thousands of people." Alton (approaching her): "I believe you. I agree that he overdid it with that idea, maybe it would have been wise if we had taken a different director, Hale would have been on our side too, although Shade and Reydan weren't too keen on it either. I like you in that, but I know it's a whole other story to share a more intimate moment on camera, both you and I are not like that. I would feel uncomfortable too, even though they only want my torso exposed, and it would be already too stressful for you. (takes the chair and sits laterally from the mirror) When I look myself like this, I can't imagine myself in more explicit scenes, (takes off his blouse and remains topless) I see myself more as a somewhat boring guy, an intellectual, the only time I relax is with you. (Sage comes to him, he puts her on his lap) We don't look bad as a couple, don't you think?" Sage: "Are you seriously considering that video?" Alton: "I just... imagine what it could look like and be decent enough." Sage (looks at the mirror): "I don't want to share our special moment with others, I like that we have something of our own." Alton: "Maybe you're right, I don't know what got them stuck with it, I feel forced to do what I would do with you in private with pleasure." Sage (sits so she's completely facing him and kisses him): "What would you do like this without the camera, and what in front of the camera?" Alton: "Um... In front of the camera, I would cover the parts of your arms where you have scars with my hands as much as possible, they would be covered in blood in the video anyway, so it wouldn't be visible much. I would kiss you passionately, and then I would kiss your neck like this. (demonstrates to her) I'd pull the left strap down and move to the shoulder, placing my left hand on your cleavage. My other hand would be on your legs. (all the while doing what he says). I think that would be quite enough for them, we would not make a adult movie but a music video. Now, what would I do like this, alone with you... (unbuttons her bra and puts it to the side, then pulls the top of the nightgown down to reveal her breasts) To start with that, and then I would use my tongue... (brings his lips closer to her body, she sighed), and during that time the other hand can play a little in another place... (Sage started to breathe even deeper after placing his other hand on her warm skin)" Sage: "Can I... oh... play a little bit too?" Alton (smiling): "Of course. (continues kissing)"

     Sage stood up, knelt in front of him and unbuttoned his pants. Alton (looking at her): "Are you going to do what I think you're going to do now?" Sage (seductively): "Have you ever tried BJ? I haven't, but I want to." Alton (as she took his pants down): "I've never tried it, so you can't go wrong. (after she begins) Oh... I'd never say... that you don't have experience... in that. I don't know... if I can handle... this. Uh. You're good at it." Sage: "Thanks. I really don't have any experience with this. (continues)"

    Alton tried to hold back to enjoy the feeling as long as possible, but he quickly gave in. Sage (standing up): "I can see you liked it as soon as you can't get your breathing back to normal. (laughs)" Alton: "Very. I want to try it on you too, I want to give you a little trouble like you are giving me now. (laughs) After all, I had just started with you and you moved away - I wasn't done ." Sage: "Don't worry about me, I'm not a fan of it anyway." Alton (getting up): "I'll pretend I don't know the answer, but - have you ever tried it so you know you don't like it?" Sage: "No, but I'm not sure, so you don't have to do it." Alton: "Here we go - I'll try it once, if you don't like it then I won't mention it as an option again, okay?" Sage (restrainedly lying on the bed): "Okay, I'll try. I worry that it turns out that like it too much. (laughs)" Alton: "Then we'll do it more often, no problem. (comes closer to her)"

   This time he repeated her action from a moment ago and, regardless of what she said, the sound she was making said otherwise, she was enjoying it. Alton: "You don't sound like someone who isn't a big fan of this, quite the opposite. I've never heard you enjoy it so much before. (continues)" Sage (heavy sigh): "Looks like... I like it after all. (sigh) I've only seen it... in the movies... but I never thought... I'd try it in real life. (Alton slowly accelerates, she covers her lips with her hands)" Alton (interrupts for a moment): "Don't cover your mouth - feel free to shout, scream, whatever you feel you want, just don't hold back."

     She completely surrendered her trust to Alton and relaxed every muscle, and the feeling became much more intense. Soon she reached the end as well, slowly calming her breathing after that.

     Alton (lying next to her): "We'll add this to the repertoire. (laughs) Your face is as rosy as an apple, it looks good on you." Sage (laughs): "You managed to pull this off well even though it's your first time. (sigh) You really took my breath away. (another sigh) I can't bring myself back to normal." Alton: Well, you started it first, so I wanted to take revenge! (laughs) I'm joking, of course. (pause) And, what are we going to do with that video, what's the final decision?" Sage: "We're going to do as you showed at the beginning, we're going to convey the chemistry but we're going to decide how far we go." Alton (nods his head): "Okay. They won't tell us what we will do and how much we will show, we are not their puppets." Sage: "Now... (leaning towards him) Do you want to end here, or can we continue in the "standard way"? (seductive look)" Alton (smiles): "I'm in, we can continue, I have more energy for tonight." Sage (comes closer to him): "Then let's not waste time. (smile)"

   The next day, Shade invited the others, so they all came to see Reydan. Hale (they enter his room, he is lying in bed): "Reddy, so what did you do yesterday? Shade says you could have died!" Sage (concerned, takes his hands): "Were you trying to kill yourself?!" Reydan (looks at her slightly, shakes his head): "I didn't, although I didn't care at the time." Alton (concerned): "Shade told us about the situation - how did it happen?" Reydan (shrugs his shoulders): "I have to pay for my past, I guess. Looks like love isn't for me, I am not made for that." Hale: "And you just let Olivia go? Don't you think she can accept that somehow?" Reydan: "Whatever I say, everything is clear. I don't blame her, really, it's my own fault, I led a promiscuous life before her and I fooled myself that now something would be different." Sage (with teary eyes): "That was before her, now you've really changed your habits, you can't just give up on her! We know you care about her and she cares about you." Reydan: "I'll get over it. (laughs numbly) What a proposal scene that was - tragicomic! Who knows, maybe the heavens are telling me to let go of things that aren't for me." Shade: ,,Give yourself time, and you'll think about it when things calm down. We're here for you either way." Reydan (smiling slightly): "Thank you, I appreciate it. I don't want to think about this, I want to think about the band and the video to take my mind off it. Let's go to our practice area afterwards." Alton: "Maybe you should rest, you're not feeling well..." Reydan: "It'll make me worse if I keep thinking about it. Just give me a few hours to recover from yesterday, I had too much alcohol, I'll take some medicine to relieve this terrible headache." Hale (nodding): "Just take it easy, we'll go there later in the day when you're better."

    Later, they went to the practice area and talked about the music video. Sage took a paper out of her bag and handed it to the guys. Sage: "Since the song we chose for the single doesn't fit the concept of the video at all, and then the whole video would seem completely disconnected and forced, I wrote a lyrics that would be more suitable for that topic, so we can change the song if we can't already change the video." Shade (after they read it, speechless): "I didn't know you could write lyrics like this, I thought you only knew about morbid topics. (looks at the paper again, then at her) Do you remember when we saw her for the first time, she was so shy that she stammered and looked at the floor while talking to us, and now we've come to this! I have to admit I'm surprised." Hale (to Sage): "You're right, this song would make more sense with a video like that. How did you imagine singing it, with what technique? Would it be faster or slower?" Sage: "With a more seductive voice, only by the end of the song would that sigh in the song become heavier, until it culminates near the end. The beat would be slower, but it would gradually get a little faster and stop after the crescendo, only my breathing would be heard at the end." Reydan (smiles): "Oh, I think I get the concept! (smiles) It reminds me of a certain act." Alton: "Exactly." We would play as if we were making love with music, as if we were becoming someone else or pushing some of our boundaries. It doesn't cost us anything to try and if we like the end result, we can use it as a pre-single to warm up the fans." Shade (laughs out loud): "Not that they're going to be warmed up by this, they're going to burn out! I can't wait to hear the finished composition, this is going to be crazy!" Hale (taking the guitar): "Well, kids, let's compose then, we have to finish the whole song within a week."

   The next day, Hale and Meryan went to the doctor for her regular check-ups. Hale (as they leave the hospital): "It's getting closer to the day we'll see our son, I'm going to make a celebration when he finally comes into this world! (hugs her) How are you feeling?" Meryan (nods his head): "So far so good, these accompanying symptoms of pregnancy bother me a bit, but I'm relieved that it will also pass by the end of the year. (smile) How is the work on the song going? " Hale: "You know, I'm not a very passionate guy, I'm a traditionalist when it comes to the bedroom, but I think about you and some of our moments and it goes a little easier. (smiles)" Meryan (smiles slightly): "You can see, maybe you like something, so we can try it. (laughs) Admittedly, most things will wait a bit, (puts her hand on her belly) but at the first opportunity." Hale: "Everything at the time, you heard that the doctor said that you will have a recovery period after giving birth, so don't worry about it now. (puts his hand on her belly) I will take a break from performing and reduce my duties after the birth of the child to help you as much as I can, I will not let you to do anything alone. It is our common child after all, I want to participate. Others are planning to rest for a while too, that's why we are in a hurry to do as much as possible in the coming period - after a while we will go on tour, but only after a few months have passed since the birth of the child. They adjusted the schedule for me and I appreciate that." Meryan: "In the first band, they didn't want to take a break even when you were in the hospital for appendicitis surgery, you almost died because of their misunderstanding, they told you that you were weak and laughed at you for not being able to stand it anymore. Passing out from the pain during the rehearsal probably saved your life, you would have got gangrene and died very soon after." Hale (nods his head): "They even laughed afterwards, telling me that it's not terrible and that almost everyone gets their appendix out at some point. That's when I got fed up, I send them to hell with such a rage and left the band, they quickly felt apart because they had no feeling for the other members of the band, nor for the audience. At first, my fellow metalhead friends laughed at me for joining a newly formed band, but I wouldn't change it for anything, they are all understanding and true friends. With them, I also became milder and more tolerant, in the previous band I was constantly angry and nervous. (kisses Meryan) I hope that I will also be a good father, so I will feel complete. (smiles)" Meryan (hugs him): "I'm sure you will be. I can't wait for that day."

    Morning. Sage wakes up first and goes to shower. Alton joins her in the shower, standing behind her and kissing her cheek. She turned to him. Sage: "I have a fixed idea for today, but I've been thinking about it for a long time, so it's not completely spontaneous. Actually, by tomorrow when we have the work on song, I have a few things I want to finish. Are you coming with me?" Alton: "Let's go. From the look on your face, I'd say it must something completely crazy."

    The next day they agreed to meet at ten, they were working on the final details of the composition, so everyone had to be there. Alton and Sage arrive leaving the others surprised by the change - Sage added a nose piercing to her eyebrow piercing and partially dyed her hair red, Alton got an eyebrow piercing. The real surprise, though, was when they took off their jackets - Alton was wearing a tank top, while Sage wore a one-sleeve, sleeveless top on the left side, with fresh tattoos on the upper part of Alton's right arm and Sage's left arm.

   Reydan (when they sat down): "Are those real tattoos?! Wow, a lot of changes in one day!" Hale: "You didn't talk about getting a tattoo before. Compliments on the new hair color, Sage, I didn't expect the rest (laughs)." Shade: "Awesome! I've always wanted tattoos too, but I'm afraid of needles, they're so great!" Alton: "Yesterday Sage wanted to go and get a tattoo, I liked it so I did too. She added another piercing and I put one, and only she dyed her hair. (laughs)" Hale: "Uh, that's a bit of a sudden decision, but they turned out great. Just keep an eye on them for a few days while they heal, (shows his skull tattoo) if you need any advice - I have personal experience. (smiles)" Sage: "I'm surprised you never did more than that one - you didn't want more or was there a problem?" Hale: "There was no problem, I didn't want to overdo it - one shows up more than if I had done the whole arm, I didn't have need for that." Alton: "That's actually good advice, less is more. I wouldn't do more either." Sage: "Same, it happens that it's hard to stop after one, so in the end there are too many. (gets up) Now that we've surprised you, let's finish the song. (puts on jacket) We've reached the last chorus, we haven't figured out how to do that part yet." Reydan: "Then let's go to our instruments, we'll try something until we figure it out."

    On the day of the video recording, they brought the song to the director and said that they would shoot the video they had agreed on for this song. Director (listens to the song): "Wow, you can do this too?! This is definitely closer to the theme of the video and... (concentrates on listening)...aha, aha... Ugh, what a thing you've done here, I'm going to start listening to more metal because of you! (song ends) It's good, I can work with this, it tickled my fancy. Are you ready too? (everyone nodded) Excellent! Let's make a video that will be talked about!"

    Reydan, while they were setting up the scenography, sat on the side and drank a few glasses of cognac. Shade (approaches): "Hey, you can't be drunk, we're shooting a video!" Reydan (waving his hand): "Don't worry, I'm not drunk, I just relaxed my body a little bit. (shows the extras) They're there for my scene, so I relaxed a bit so that we could shoot more easily." Shade (looks at them): "It has nothing to do with them, it has to do with Olivia, right? You're trying to forget about her when you're filming with other girls, aren't you?" Reydan: "Maybe... (finishes drink)... but it's important that it works. (goes to his set)"

     Scene 1 - Reydan:

   Reydan enters a large room where the other extras wear only masks and different types of fetish clothes that reveal more than cover (due to censorship, the extras' complete nudity was abandoned), three girls approach him and touch him on the legs, torso and arms, then strip down to the waist and lead him towards the other extras who simulated a swinger party. Around Reydan there are several other girls in revealing clothes who were kissing and touching him on the body, but also each other, Reydan knew that this kind of scene in front of his eyes before Olivia would have brought him to a state of ecstasy, but now he was almost indifferent. He pretended to enjoy himself, trying to bring back the feeling of the old days, but all he managed to do was act professional and shoot those scenes the way they were meant to be.

    Scene Two - Hale:

   Since Hale rejected the first idea offered to him due to great discomfort, he filmed a scene in which he, like a voyeur, merely observes other couples for his own pleasure. He was sitting on the throne, while in the room in front of him were various acts of BDSM, and his hand was all the time under the lower part of the abdomen, gently massaging that part. A part of him thought whether the scene he rejected would be better, or it might be too much, but at one point he broke down and decided to film that part as well. Without saying anything to the cameramen and the director, he got up and went to a pair where the girl's eyes and hands were tied, he took her and slowly leaned her on the table with her face down. Before that, he aggressively tore everything off the table, and then took off his shirt behind her and simulated what they asked him to do at the beginning.

     When they had shot enough, the director said he could stop, he moved slightly and helped the girl take off the props. Hale (to the girl): "I'm sorry I didn't mention that we were going to shoot that first scene anyway, I felt like I was raping someone when I realized what this all looked like. I'm sorry, I'm not like that in my private life." Girl (smiles): "I'm a professional actress, I admit that I was a little surprised when I felt someone else's hands, but it was exciting. After all, this is just a simulation of various fetishes that people have, you didn't hurt me. It could have been a little more dominant and with power, feel free to grab me stronger! (laughs) You can't hurt me, strong guys turn me on. (to director) Can we shoot one more time? (to Hale) Feel free to imagine your wife if it's easier for you, just don't worry!

   Hale did better in the second attempt, so the scene looked even more realistic. He was worried about what people would think when they saw the video, and he was most worried about Meryan, he tried to reassure himself that it wouldn't look as radical as it sounds on the video.

   Scene 3 - Shade:

   The scenography was set up to look like an alternative strip club, there were extras dancing around. Shade, as always, turned everything on humor, but the director did not like it and asked to be serious. It seemed impossible to Shade, even with Alice there was always a lot of laughter and everything reminded of two teenagers who are still young and unburdened by life, there was never pure passion like in the movies. The cinematographer told the director that he liked Shade's bubbly energy and that they should keep it because he seems to be having fun while doing it, it seems natural and relaxed, the director agreed and they continued filming.

    Shade, with his previous energy, stripped off one piece of clothing as he danced, until he tore off the last piece and threw it at the camera. That's where the filming of his scene ended, that scene definitely had to be censored in a similar way as the rock band "No Doubt" censored the scene in the "Hey Baby" video, otherwise it shouldn't have been uploaded on any platform, which is the opposite of what was intended.

    Scene 4 - Alton and Sage:

   Before filming began, Alton walked up to Sage and grabbed her hands. Alton: "You're nervous, I can feel it." Sage: "I am, I'm panicked by this many people when it comes to a shoot like this." Alton (kisses her on the forehead): "I'm very nervous too, but we're going to focus exclusively on each other and only shoot as far as we've agreed - okay?" Sage (hugs him and shivers): "We'll try, I hope we will make it."

  Filming begins; Sage is standing by the window in a bustier corset, a long black skirt with an upper thigh cut out, her arms and cleavage are covered by a long laced sleeved shirt that has a thin beige lining underneath to minimize the scars visibility. Alton approaches, dressed in a black shirt and pants, stands behind her and grabs her around the waist, at the same time kissing her neck and shoulders from which he pulled down her shirt and bra strap, then he takes her hand and they sit together opposite each other on the edge of the bed. They repeated the scene as they had previously agreed on, only with a few cuts and running their lips and tongue over the drops of blood, exchanging several passionate kisses as if no one else was in the room. They stopped and looked at the director, letting it be known that they were done with their part.

   Director: "So far, this has been good. Alton, take your clothes off a little more, and you Sage put on that negligee, you can't shoot any more in that." Alton: "But we finished our scene - you wanted to drink each other's blood and share a few kisses, you got it. This is how far we agreed to shoot." Director: "These are foreplay scenes, the entire scene cannot stop here. You don't have to actually have an intercourse, just simulate it in the video, you have five minutes to prepare for the scene and we continue to shoot. (Sage gets upset) Sage, don't be dramatic again, there's still that scene left and we're finishing the video. Come on, go get ready." Sage (to Alton): "I agreed to record this just so I wouldn't stand in the way of the band's success, I convinced myself that it was nothing terrible, but - is this us? Is this the "Blue Tower"? Have we fallen down to the fact that we have to record an explicit video, to expose ourselves and make fools of ourselves, supposedly for the sake of a new audience, then what kind of audience is that? An audience that will see us as someone who fights for popularity with scenes like this? The audience that will expect this from us? How long it took me to relax in front of you, and now here I am playing some seductress in front of the others, but now they want us to completely sell our moments! Even if everyone hates me - and these people on the set, and the band members, and even you, I'm not going to continue filming and it has nothing to do with you, but with this whole situation. If you can finish the scene, feel free to finish it with an extra, I won't be jealous because it's my own fault that I can't continue. (leaves)" Director: "Where are you going, Sage?! We haven't finished shooting the video!" Sage (glaring at him): "Both you and your video can go to freaking hell, I'm not going to take part in this even if I leave my own band! (goes to the dressing room to change)"

    Reydan, Shade, and Hale came to Alton after hearing about the incident. Alton: "You already filmed your scenes, I apologize on our behalf." Hale: "As far as I'm concerned, my scenes can be deleted, this way people will think of me as someone who is aggressive towards women, and I'm not like that. I don't want my relatives to see me in that role, that's not me." Reydan: "They say that one more scene with you is missing, but what are we going to do without Sage? We can't do the end of the video without the vocals, although she's right about this kind of video not being for us, I was wondering too what the hell we need this for when I was filming my scene. We are currently in a stalemate; Alton, can you talk to her? You can shoot any scenes just to finish this project, I'm getting a headache from all this." Alton (nodding): "Okay. I'll see what I can do."

    He knocked on the wardrobe door and wanted to enter, but the door was locked. Alton (knocking again): "Sage, we have to see what we do next, I also find this all disgusting and I agree with everything you said, and so do the others, but we have to find a solution. Let's finish recording, I promise that no one will ever convince us of these ideas again. (listening) What are you doing in there?" Sage (sarcastically): "I'm tying a noose and hanging on to the chandelier, that's it. I always mess up everything anyway, I'm annoying myself about how incompetent I am, I ruined the shoot." Alton (startled): "You didn't ruin anything, no one except maybe the director is mad at you, and we'll make it clear to him too that we're not going to film the scene the way he wants. As for that reference to the hanging... Did you say that sarcastically or..." Reydan (approaching): "She's inside?" Alton (quieter): "She thinks she's ruined everything, I asked her what she was doing inside and she sarcastically told me that she was tying a noose to the chandelier - do you think she's serious? (the sound of a chair being knocked over is heard, Alton pales) You don't think she's..." Reydan (panicked): "Hale, break the door now! (to Alton) You never know with her, and I didn't finish a school for a therapist for nothing, break the damn door!!!"

   Hale broke down the door, Sage was inside near death due to a makeshift noose that tightened her neck. Instinct made her struggle for air, but she wanted the feeling of throbbing head and indescribable pain from the noose and lack of air to end as soon as possible. The guys went inside and put the chair back under her feet, then Alton cut the noose with a nearby knife and slowly lowered her.

   Alton (panicked): "Sage, why do you always have to do this when things go wrong? Damn it!" Shade: "Will she survive?" Reydan (finding a pulse on her neck): "She's alive, but this time she has to go to the hospital, hanging can damage the brain. (calls hospital)" Hale: "She's losing consciousness, tell them to hurry!"

   She was admitted to the hospital with a moderate neck injury, but her brain showed weak activity because of the previous head injuries and damage due to lack of air. The real state of things will only be known in a few days, so they could only wait.

    The video director came to the hospital in the evening to talk to the band members. Director: "So, how do we end the video now? We don't have enough material with them to finish. I sent the crew and extras home." Alton: "Do you think we care about the damn video now? After all, you've been paid for everything, the crew and extras have been paid too, no one was harmed and we're not going to think about it now!" Hale: "We convinced ourselves that we had to do it for the sake of the band, we lied to ourselves and it turned out that we were also lying to the others around us." Shade: "I'm not shy, on the contrary, but we still realized that this kind of video might be bad for our career at this time, we don't want to be remembered for it. If everyone but me was uncomfortable and they were there just to finish the job, then it wasn't the right thing to do. Even Reydan had to drink before the shoot just to be able to shoot his scenes." Reydan: "We should have listened to ourselves and others from the beginning, and not to fool ourselves." Director (nods his head): "We'll do it this way - I'm giving a copy of the scenes that were filmed today only to you and I'm deleting them from my system, so that you don't ever get in trouble because of them, but you can still use something that was filmed. Since I'm also responsible for what happened, I'll make you a great video for free and it will be in line with your mentality for that first song, but add the second song to the album anyway because it would be a shame if you never use it, you really did a great job. Of course, I want Sage to recover as soon as possible, we won't do anything until she comes out, and then we're going to record." Alton: "If she recovers. She already had brain damage from before, it will be fine if there are no major consequences." Director: "Is it possible that she tried to commit suicide because of something like this? We could have handled this differently!" Reydan: "Just like we fooled ourselves that we could do the video, we fooled ourselves that Sage would be able to control her suicidal urges, we thought it was fixed so that least she could function. She's had mental issues since before we started the band, this happens from time to time but now he has to stay in the hospital, maybe even for a long time, it's not going like this anymore, I just hope she gets out of this without permanent damage. " Hale: "The doctor said we don't have to stay all night, we're going home and we'll come back tomorrow during the day. (To Alton) Will you be able to go home alone, or should one of us keep you company? Are you going to be okay?" Alton (nodding): "I'll be okay. I'm going home alone, rest and I'll see you tomorrow. There's nothing we can do anyway, we have to wait. Tomorrow is a new day."

   With Sage being held in a mental hospital for a month, the release of the album was delayed until further notice. Meryan was also due to give birth soon, so Hale spent more time with her and helped her, the birth of Reydan's child was also approaching. He drank more and more, unable to get over Olivia, secretly hoping something would change even though he knew he couldn't erase the fact that Janet was pregnant, even if it was just a one-night stand.

    After a few days Alton talked to the doctor about Sage's condition. Doctor (sigh): "It's not good, patients who survive hanging go through agony later because the brain is severely damaged, and the brain cannot be regenerated. There are natural remedies like lion's mane mushroom, I will add that to the therapy and I can repair the damage a bit, it will be good if it has a positive effect. I hope she has a good chance of recovery as you reacted quickly, with any choking being dangerous, I also did my best to save her vocal cords as she is a vocalist in your band - there is a possibility that she may not sound like before, if she gets voice back, because the noose was very tight around her throat." Alton: "Honestly, at this point I don't care if we both quit music together, just for her to be okay. How is she now, how is she acting?" Doctor: "So far I have given a diagnosis of depression and anxiety, but it takes more time to see what else is wrong with the psyche, the case is more complex than it seems. Therefore, I would like to ask you to tell me your experience with her since you have known her and everything you know about her life before that, maybe I will be able to create a better clinical picture, since I do not believe that this way I will get much out of her. At the moment she doesn't speak, probably because of pain or damage, she writes down if she needs something, although she doesn't cooperate much anyway. All in all, she is not very active, partly because of worsening depression but also because of brain damage. (looks at him) Don't blame me for saying this, but studying your behavior I noticed that you also have some problem, maybe it's something temporary because of this situation, but I see that there is something about you too." Alton (thinking) : "Hm... How come that didn't occur to me before... (looks at the doctor) You're right - I have a mental problem too. (gets up) Okay, doctor, I'll see you later."

    Reydan went to Olivia's house, wanting to beg her for forgiveness. He knew he had nothing to lose, he had lost the only person he wanted in his life anyway, so it couldn't be any worse than now.

   Reydan knocked on the door of Olivia's house. Olivia (opens the door): "I won't be rude to slam the door in your face, but I don't want to talk to you and we don't have anything to talk about. I should have just congratulated you on becoming a father, instead of just rushing out of the restaurant, I should have known about manners. So what do you have to say?" Reydan: "Olivia, I don't want a child with Janet, I was with her for one night and that's all! I want you, I want children with you, I want us to live a peaceful family life, just like you wanted as well!" Olivia: "You're going to be a father soon - are you going to abandon that child that's not not guilty of anything? Do you want him to grow up without a father figure? If this is the situation, it would be fair if you marry that girl and start a family with her, it's not about you and me anymore, it's about the child who will grow up without a father!" Reydan: "I talked to Janet after all, she goes back to her first husband. He can't have children, so he wants to accept the child as his own. Of course, I'll be a part of his life, I'm a conscientious person about it. Maybe... Maybe you better not get into this mess, you deserve better. I just wanted to wish you to find a person without such a turbulent past like me, I will try somehow to forget you too, but it will be difficult because I miss you too much. For your sake I'll take a courage, be a man and let you be happy, sorry for everything."

He turned and walked towards the gate with a heavy step. He could no longer bear the pain that had consumed him until now, he fell to his knees and cried. Olivia ran to him and hugged him, sensing that he was really broken by everything, she helped him up, brought him inside to drink coffee and calm down.

    Hale sat in the dimly lit room, thinking about the video. For days he didn't understand what happened to him that day, so he lost control of himself, he blamed himself for it. Meryan comes to him.

     Meryan (sitting next to him): "What's bothering you?" Hale: "I'm thinking about that scene from the music video, what was going through my mind, what the hell?! I wasn't attracted to that girl, I never liked that BDSM stuff, I don't understand." Meryan: "The explanation is simple, and that is that you miss our intimate act. You are so afraid of hurting me, you are so gentle with me, but you don't spend your energy and then it manifested itself in this way. You've been worrying for months that it would hurt me, but you can't hurt me like that! (smile) Of course, nothing should be rough, at least not at this stage. I admit that I also missed it a lot, but I was ashamed to admit it because I know that now I might not be the most attractive..." Hale (surprised): "Who says you're not attractive? Actually, every look at your new cleavage throws me into even more difficult situation! But you're right, that's probably why this is happening to me. You're saying that I can't hurt you like that? You're sure? (Meryan nods) Can we... release our frustrations a little bit, if you're up for that?" Meryan (smiles, drags him to the bedroom): Absolutely! Let's go and solve our problem now."

    The next day, Hale, Shade, and Reydan gathered in the practice room. Shade (noticing that both of them are in a great mood): "You are in a good mood today. What is the reason? (smile)" Hale: "I feel great today, like I got rid of a big burden!" Reydan: "Wow, did you finally end your chastity? What did I tell you, you don't have to refrain from intercourse because of her pregnancy, a large number of women don't have a problem with it at all and some even enjoy it more during pregnancy. But, here, he tells me - I can't, it can harm the baby, I'll hurt Meryan, maybe she's not in the mood..." Shade (laughs): "You know that from personal experience or... (laughs even harder)" Reydan (pretending to be angry): "We learned about various topics in medical school classes, I don't have personal experience but who knows... Maybe once Olivia has our first child... Then the second... Maybe the third, but wait for these two first." Hale (joyfully): "You reconciled? (hugs him and pats him on the shoulder) I'm so glad for you!" Shade (does the same): "Yes, bro! I was really worried, you've started to fall apart without her and drink too much, I was afraid that you'll put yourself in danger again if you got drunk. Now I'm relieved." Reydan (looks at the clock on the phone): "Guys, where's Alton? It doesn't seem like him to be late." Hale (calling him): "Now we'll see where he is, maybe there's a traffic jam or something... (unknown voice comes in) Hello, is Alton there? (pause) WHAT?!!! (Reydan and Shade look at him worriedly) We'll be right there! (hangs up)" Reydan (panicked): "Did something happened to Sage, is she dead?!" Hale: "Alton ... He tried to kill himself." Shade (eyes wide open): "Damn it... Let's go right there!"

    When they arrived at the hospital, the nurse said the patient wanted to talk to them, so they entered the room where he was. Shade (as they entered): "For God's sake, Alti, why didn't you call us?! We would have come right away, you shouldn't have done that to yourself!" Reydan (concerned, sitting next to him): "How are you feeling right now?" Alton (quieter): "If they ask - I'm bad, there's a big chance I'll do this again and it's better to put me in a clinic so I don't hurt myself. Otherwise, I'm fine, don't worry." Hale (surprised): "Wait, why would you lie that you're not fine?" Alton: "Because I performed what in psychology they call "theatrical suicide". I'm bluffing about how bad I am so they'll put me in the clinic." Reydan (understanding): "Oh... I figured out for whom. Did you hurt yourself a lot? How did you even get here?" Alton: "I cut my left wrist a bit deeper, I have to admit it hurts like hell, Sage has a huge pain tolerance to handle this better than I do. Anyway, I came here alone, I pretended it was an accident until they realized, and they did, it added to the effect. I have to somehow convince them that I'm really, really bad so they don't send me back home." Shade: "I don't know if I should say your plan is genius or that you're completely nuts." Alton (laughs): "Let it be both. You take a break, focus on your lives, and we'll promote the album when we come out." Hale: "Don't worry, everything will be under control, just look after her." Alton: "That's why I'm doing this. So guys, how's your acting skills going? (a smile)"

   There was noise and panic from the room where Alton was, so the doctors immediately rushed in, finding a dramatic scene. Alton was standing at the window talking about how he wanted to end everything, how everything was going wrong for him lately and how he just could never be happy. The guys persuaded him to move away from the window, slowly coming towards him and finally Hale pulled him inside. The doctors reacted immediately, and Reydan only confirmed that he had already talked about suicide these days, but that he did not want to seek help and that is why he arrived in this situation. They slowly left the room, imperceptibly exchanging nods with Alton. Their plan worked, so doctors kept Alton for treatment, and the very next day he was transferred to the clinic.

   That evening, Shade wandered the streets of the city again, arriving in a more dangerous part of the city where fights and thefts, and sometimes even murders, often took place. He doubted that Alice would come here because this part of the city is shunned even by those who are fearless like him, this part of the city is considered a hotbed of crime, prostitution and drugs, he was not comfortable being here but he had to check if Alice got here by accident.

  He saw a strip club and was intrigued, he thought maybe it was because he had a recent encounter with the subject during the video, so he went in and sat on the side to study the situation. Inside, the atmosphere was as he had expected, it was somewhat suffocating due to many people in a small space and tobacco smoke. It occurred to him that Alice could have danced in clubs like this or become a prostitute, just to get drugs, so he decided to look around. The manager of the club approaches him.

    Manager (pats him on the shoulder): "You're looking around, son, aren't you? How do you like these women of ours, are there any that are interesting to you? For a small fee you can be with any of them!" Shade (realizing he's talking to a pimp): "Uh... I like punk girls, shoulder-length black hair with green highlights, piercings, and average height. Are there any like that?" Manager: Phew, son, you know exactly what kind of woman you want, don't you? (points to the bar) That's our waitress, you have seen her? She is new here, but I can convince her to do another job. Until now, she was there in the casino, but they kicked her out because she punched a man who pinched her bottom. Hell yeah, she will do all kinds of stuff here as long as someone tells me that they want her. I see you're interested." Shade (looks at the girl): "For now I'm just going to get a drink, I'll call you if I decide on other services." Manager (pointing to the balcony on the first floor): "Okay, I'll be up there and see everything around the bar, just wave and I'll come. (starts towards the stairs)"

    Shade quickly walked over to the girl, making sure it was indeed Alice. She was pale, very thin, and the whites of her eyes had taken on a reddish color. Shade: "Alice, I finally found you! Why did you come here?" Alice: "I needed drugs, and I could always find them here. Of course, I have to work to afford them, but it's getting harder... I don't want to be dragged into something that I can't get out anymore, and I don't know where to go like this, I don't have anywhere to go..." Shade (grabs her by the hand and leads her outside): "How come you don't have anywhere to go? Let's go to our apartment." Alice: "Why would you need me in this state? Look at me, I look like a dissaster!" Shade: "Alice, we don't have time to argue now, this pimp is going to climb the balcony any minute and we have to get out of here because he plans to introduce you to prostitution too! (they leave) In that state you don't need someone to use you, you need care." Alice: "I don't deserve that." Shade (checks if the guards are outside): "Come on, let's get out of here, and then we'll see what we can do." Alice: "But I'm an addict, I can't live without drugs... I need them..." Shade (looks reproachfully at her): "Alice, for God's sake, you seem to forget where we are! (they get out and hurry down the road) It's so easy that some quarrels happen here, stop now if you want to get out of here alive! (a noice is heard behind them) You hear that? You think those behind us don't have guns and won't use them if their argument gets heated? Just let me get you out of here, then say things like that. (quickens his pace)"

     The argument behind them culminated and the two warring parties drew their pistols, and the shooting began. Shade saw that they couldn't make it to the end of the street quickly, so quickly turned between two buildings, but a stray bullet wounded him in the back before he could get to the side.

   Alice (panicked): "You've been hit! Will you die here, saving me from the hell I got myself into?!" Shade (painfully): "The injury... isn't... that... severe... But... it sure hurts... Oh, it'll be good if... we get out of here... together." Alice (hugging him): "We will, baby, I won't leave you. (takes phone from his pocket and calls hospital) Hello, I need an ambulance, we are in a dangerous part of town and my boyfriend is injured, he was hit by a stray bullet from a nearby shooting. (pause) Okay, be parked at the beginning of the street, we'll try to get there. (hangs up) Will you be able to make it there?" Shade (grits his teeth): "I'll try, if only... the shooting dies down. (they wait about a minute) Now... we're going!"

    Alice applied pressure to the wound so he would lose less blood, she held him with his arm draped over her shoulders to give him better balance. They got closer and closer to the end of the street, eventually seeing an ambulance that took them to the hospital. There, Shade's wound was stitched up and the bullet removed, and Alice volunteered for addiction treatment to break the vicious cycle that could have led her to even worse ruin. She knew it would be difficult, but it was the only way to never put Shade and herself in this situation again.

     Alton was admitted to the hospital the next day, asking to see Sage. They told him that she had gone outside and was sitting on a bench, so he went there. Sage was surprised to see him, but thought he was visiting. Knowing what she did on the set of the video, she got upset because she felt like she put so many people in an awkward situation and that the entire video was canceled because of what she said and did after filming their scenes, so she feared that Alton is also angry with her and that he came to finally end the relationship with a mentally unstable person, that it was the final straw. She was preparing for that scenario in her head to make it easier for herself if it came to that, even though she knew she wasn't able to handle that scenario. She slowly turned around because of the medical collar on her neck, took as deep a breath as was possible due to the pain, and looked at his direction, but not directly at him. She seemed very lost, but she was conscious enough to communicate through paper.

     Alton (comes, sits next to her): "It hurts me to see you in that state, I know you're suffering and in a lot of pain." Sage (writing on paper): "How did you get here? You came to visit?" Alton (answering, raising his left forearm with a bandage on it): "Not really for a visit, they kept me here. To save you time writing, I didn't really try to kill myself, I staged suicide to get to you. Of course, if I'm bothering you here then I'll find a way to leave, several doctors were doubtful if I should be here anyway." Sage (gets emotional, writing): "Then you're even crazier than I am. Really." Alton (smiles): "Then it's good that I came here, it means I belong here. Have you completely lost your voice? (Sage writes "Not completely") I guess you can't talk because of the pain then, take it slow when you want to write something - I know the brain damage makes you more numb, we're in no rush." Sage (writes): "It would be better you left me to die. This is much worse than death." Alton (gets sad when he reads it): "I'm sorry I didn't react faster and open the door right away when you mentioned the hanging, but you really surprised me! Sometimes your mood changes too quickly and I can't react, do you think I would let this happen? If Reydan hadn't demanded we open the door right away, it would have had worse consequences." Sage (writes): "Or I would have died, which would have been better." Alton (sigh): "Sage, this is not about making a damn video, you punish yourself every time you feel guilty, or you try too hard to fix things; the most likely reason for this behavior is the threats you have heard since childhood, that someone will kill themselves because of you for every mistake you make, so you have the feeling that everything you do wrong is fatal and that only your death can compensate for that feeling of guilt, that you have to hurt or even kill yourself to punish yourself for whatever reaction that person has. What's worst of all, sometimes you're the one who can't take it anymore and then you snap, and then you punish yourself for the reaction of the person who hurt you, you punish yourself for showing your emotions. You have no defense mechanism to protect yourself and your interests because you are always looking at their feelings and needs as well as their opinion, you are actually afraid of their interaction with you. When you're overwhelmed with guilt and don't know how to fix things, you turn to self-destruction. At the same time, a part of you is afraid to admit guilt because you are afraid of the consequences, for you those consequences are worse than death and then we return to the vicious circle. Realize that this time you have no reason to feel guilty, the only thing you did wrong was not talking to me or anyone else in the band before you let your need to self-destruct take over. (grabs her hand) I also didn't want to shoot the scene as the director wanted, it would be too much to get naked almost completely, we didn't even agree on that and both of us would be uncomfortable in front of the cameras. (quieter) When we're alone it's a different story, but there's no simulation... (kisses her hand)... You and I don't act our passion in front of others, everything is honest with us. (he touches her gently on the cheek) You did a right thing when you sent him to hell, I also really liked you in your dangerous form. (laughs)" Sage (smiles slightly because of the pain, writes): "So you're not mad at me? Because of me, the video shoot failed, we worked on it for nothing! (writes at a slower pace) I made a mess with what I did, I hate myself for it." Alton (reads): "Why should I be angry?" If only that last scene is a problem, then we are both guilty, but the guys from the band also agree that we shot it well and that there was no need for what the director wanted from us. The video didn't fail because of you, we have almost enough material to edit the whole video but we agreed that we don't want to, maybe we will release it one day when we have many years of career behind us. For now, we'll make a video for the first song, but we'll do it when you get out of here and when you've recovered a bit." Sage (writes more slowly): "If I recover. This time the consequences are much greater."

   Sage slowly lowered her head as much as she could from the pain and closed her eyes, Alton noticed that there was a problem and quickly called the doctor who was standing nearby, worried that her condition had not worsened. Doctor (approaching): "She just suddenly falls asleep, brain lacks enough oxygen and then she is very tired. (the doctor shows the nurse to take her to the room, she does so) I heard your conversation even though I didn't mean to, that is, I heard you. Interesting psychoanalysis, did you have any contact with psychology?" Alton: "Not officially, Sage and I are both interested in psychology, so it's one of our common interests." Doctor: "Interesting, I hope I will have the opportunity to hear her talk about psychology too, you are both intelligent regardless of your mental problems. Admittedly, you are here because of a fake suicide attempt, I heard that too, but I won't say anything to my colleagues because Sage feels comfortable and safe with you, and I need that kind of atmosphere to be able to better assess her situation. She still has a lot of guilt for now, but you'll have time to discuss it, she's not getting out of here anytime soon." Alton: "If I have to, I'll do something to myself again just to be close to her." Doctor: "Don't worry about that, I can always tell my colleagues that your condition is worse, or that you're too happy and that's a warning sign, maybe you've had worrying statements. Whatever it is, you don't have to hurt yourself, there's no need. You'd backfire and Sage would think it was her fault." Alton: "That makes sense. (grabs his head) I'd like her to be better, but neither my knowledge of psychology nor hers is helping to solve the problem in the long run. I have noticed that if I insist she doesn't hurt herself, she makes a bigger problem later, so I let her do it if she has to, just less intensively, I feel like I'm not supportive enough if I don't stop her and I know it can get worse if I try to do that. When she started doing that on stage, I took the blade from her hand, she would find a new one and hurt herself worse, so I let her do it, but without serious consequences." Doctor: "Yes, I understand... You said that she is able to postpone the moment of suicide attempt and self-harm, but with the same desire as at the beginning, I have hardly had a patient who is so obsessed with suicide. Most of them, to a greater or lesser extent, wanted to heal and get better, and Sage is constantly with these thoughts. She has a good chance of recovering from the consequences of the failed hanging, but that other issue worries me because people like her don't rest until they do what they set out to do, and worst of all, they may not even show signs and wait until the moment is right. I wish I could tell you that you will have a future together, given how much you care about her, but I'll be honest - I don't know how to help a person who sees self-destruction as a challenge, who is so obsessed with suicide that I can't find any approach that would inspire her to live. There is a hint of a borderline personality disorder that is not noticeable at first, I will have to create the whole picture. It's not normal for someone to go into extreme emotions with such ease and be emotionally empty at the same time. I can't get any information out of her because she is uncooperative, she refuses the medicine and we barely give it through an IV, since she still can't take food. That's why I won't tell anyone about your plan, if you can't do anything either - then maybe there's really no hope." Alton: "I'm aware of that, I know I'll lose her one day anyway, so I don't plan too far in advance (lowers his head and stops tears, then looked at the doctor): "Is she sleeping right now?" Doctor: "We give her oxygen from time to time, the brain doesn't get enough oxygen, so we have to make up for it. She had head damage from earlier self-inflicted beatings, the findings showed that she already had damage, especially in the front part of the brain. I'm optimistic about the returning functions back to normal, but the rest will be a challenge and I can't promise anything. (someone calls the doctor) I have to go, you are free to walk or come in as you like, because you do not need supervision. (waves and leaves)"

   Reydan and Olivia went out to the restaurant again, this time Reydan hoped there wouldn't be any trouble. Reydan finished his meal, looked around and turned to Olivia. Olivia (laughs): "Aren't you afraid that some ex-girlfriend will show up again?" Reydan: "No! Oh God, no, (shows the box from last time) I was just looking for this! (opens the box) Shall I repeat my speech from the last time or shall we move on to your part?" Olivia (laughs): "If what you said then is still relevant, then I accept your offer. But, be careful - that child must not miss anything, regardless of our marriage, nor our future children. Every child deserves equal love." Reydan (smiles): "Of course! I can see why you are many children's favorite teacher at school... And you are my favorite teacher too. (smiles)" Olivia (smiles): "Then you learn from your mistakes, if you get another negative grade - you'll fail!" Reydan: "I won't get any more negative grades, one was too many for me. (drinks wine) I can't wait for everything to be settled, so we can get married. Now we are in a difficult situation with the band, we have an album but we don't have two members. During the next week we will visit them, I don't want the wedding to be before they leave because they are all like family to me." Olivia (nods her head): "We will have a wedding after Maryan gives birth, I want her to be there too because we met at Hale's and hers wedding. By then, Alton and Sage will be out, maybe even Alice." Reydan: "You know, Alice is actually progressing better - there are crises now at the beginning, but Shade says that period is slowly ending. I told you Alti was fine, but Sage (drinks more wine)... I'm worried." Olivia: "You don't think she'll recover?" Reydan: "I'm afraid we'll never get on stage and perform music together again, she's not even talking at the moment and she's not in a good condition. (presses inner corners of eyes) She's the only girl I've been in constant contact with without ever flirting with her, I looked at her like a sister. I've been worried about her all these years, I was glad she was in a relationship with Alton because I was worried that someone might take advantage of her inexperience in relationships tho she knew how to protect herself, but I can see that it didn't help her either. She's going to take her life at some point, and Alton will probably go after her. I hate that I'm powerless to do anything about it, Alti says even the more expert doctors don't know what to do with her." Olivia (startling): "Don't be so pessimistic, it's a really morbid scenario! There has to be some solution, I know you're very worried, but don't think about the worst. You'll release an album soon, and she'll recover. Take it slowly, everything will settle over time. (stands up)" Reydan (stands up): "Yes, these are things over which we have no control. (he pays the bill and they leave together) We'll take a short walk by the river on the way home, it's my favorite place, it's very romantic, but only when I'm walking with you. (a smile)"

  Visiting day; Alton goes to the room where Sage was. Alton (looks at her arm): "You pulled out the infusion yourself again! You know you need it!" Sage (writes): "I don't want to be maintained, I want to finally die." Alton (tearing up that piece of paper): "If someone sees statements like this, they won't let you go until who knows when." Sage (writes): "At least you can leave, you don't have to stay as long as I do. If this is where I have to be for the rest of my life, then fine. If I'm unable to live, then I don't have to live." Alton (reads): "Sage, stop it! Guys came to visit us, let's go outside. (passes her jacket)" Sage (writes): "The band members are angry at me, I ruined everything." Alton: "They're not angry, they're worried. Come on. (takes Sage's hand, she reluctantly leaves)"

    Shade, Hale, and Reydan were happy when they saw them. Hale (patting Alton on the shoulder): "We missed you, it's so empty without you." Reydan (seeing that Sage is holding back tears): "Sage, forget what happened on the set, just get better and we'll make a better shot. We weren't satisfied with the concept of the video anyway, maybe it's better that we won't be remembered for it, we've always tried to be who we are even when we exaggerate for the sake of journalists. (smile) Do you remember that?" Sage (writing): "Yes. I'm sorry I caused trouble. I hate myself for that." Shade: "Don't worry, buddy, it's over. Just come back so we can rock together again." Hale (to Alton): "She's not talking at all?" Alton: "She tries to speak every now and then, but she's in a lot of pain. The noose pinched her vocal cords, they had to operate. The doctor says her voice will come back and that the other functions will improve, but he does not know to what extent." Sage (writes): "How is Alice, is there any success in the treatment? Is your wound healing, buddy? (concerned look)" Shade: "It's healing slowly, no vital organs were hit and I had luck, Hale and Reydan were by my side a lot for the first few days until I was able to function again. By the time you guys get out I'll be like before. Alice is also fine, the period of the abstinence crisis has passed and now she feels better." Sage (writes): "I want you both to recover as soon as possible and for everything to be as it was before. Sorry that the two of us couldn't be there, they didn't want to let us out even for a little while." Shade: "Don't worry, I know there are rules like that here. (smile) I wish you the same. You are making us worried and we care about you." Sage (numb, writes): "I know." I'm sorry to cause trouble. You shouldn't have saved me. (looks at them and crosses out the last sentence)" Reydan (reads everything, even crossed out): "Well, you know, I would have been consumed by guilt if I had been there two meters from you and if I hadn't told Hale to break down the door, I wouldn't have been able to to bear that you died that day." Hale (adds): "Or any other day." Reydan: "Yeah, not even that night after the thirteenth concert. Imagine that feeling of finding you dead, especially after a fight or some problem, you almost killed yourself and after that misunderstanding with Alton - imagine if they pulled your corpse out of the river then, and Alti wouldn't even have had the chance to tell you that it was all just a misunderstanding, that you're the only one he wants by his side." Shade (seeing that Sage is on the verge of tears): "Take it easy, Reddy, we don't want her to feel guilty about everything that's going on. It's not in her power, it's simply the situation with her psyche." Sage (writes): "Don't worry, Reddy is right, I react too impulsive. However, it's also true that I can't control the fixed, self-destructive and suicidal ideas , they drive me crazy until I make them happen. Even when things are settled, the ideas remain." Hale: "That doesn't sound good. We know that art is an outlet for your obsessions, because it's the only thing that occupies you enough to alleviate that feeling of discomfort at least a little." Alton: "Now she's back to drawing more, and she only writes as a form of communication, it seems to me that she became a bit bored of it. (Sage gives a thumbs up) I want us to go to my sister's when we get out, we were in a hurry last time." Hale: "That's a good idea, but let her recover first." Alton: "Sure, that's a priority. How are things going with you?" Reydan: "Olivia and I are finally engaged! (smile) We are slowly planning the wedding, but there is still a time for it." Shade: "I was thinking of buying a tractor and starting farming, planting corn and so on." Reydan (smiles): "You, to do agriculture? Will anything grow out of what you plant? (laughter)" Shade (pretending to be angry): "I'm going to buy a house in the country, so I'm going to be a real traditional man! What, you think I couldn't do it?" Reydan: "What do you know about agriculture, for God's sake? I can only imagine that your tractor stops in the middle of the field, and you swear like a coachman because you have no idea about tractors. (laughter)" Shade: "I drove the tractor!" Hale: "When?" Shade: "My grandfather taught me. Well, I almost knocked it over, but now time has passed so I know better." Reydan: "Please don't drive a tractor around the village, you're going to run into a yard and trample someone's chickens. (laughter)" Shade: "Okay, okay... Well, guys, speaking of swearing... Did I mention how much Reydan was swearing that night when I saw him in the middle of the road? When you see him like this he is man of a culture, real gentleman, but then... (raises both hands)... Oh, if I didn't know it was him, I would never have guessed!" Reydan (blushing): "What? I don't remember that!" Shade: "You don't, but I sure do." Alton (laughs): "Reydan and Sage swear the least, I rarely do either, although I haven't heard Sage use heavy swearing yet. (To Shade) How about Reydan?" Shade: "There was everything! (Reydan shuts him up) I'm kidding you, but I really never heard you in that edition." Reydan (pretends to frown): "I was drunk, it doesn't count. (laughter)" Hale: "Looks like Uncle Hale is going to buy ice cream for the kids again. (laughter)" Alton (laughter): "It seems so! Well, they love each other, but like all children, they have to fight sometimes." Reydan: "I'm not a child anymore, I'm getting married in a little while!" Shade (blinks several times): "And what do you think, I won't? I will too! And I'm going to buy a house in the countryside and raise turkeys, I'm going to name one turkey after you to satisfy my soul. (grin)" Reydan: "Well, a little while ago you wanted to plant corn, and now you wanna raise turkeys? If you're going to do agriculture and animal husbandry as good as you're planning, forget about it." Alton (to Hale): "And you, you still have a little bit left until the baby is born?" Hale: "Yes, that day is getting closer. We'll all be together by then." Alton (looks at Sage): "I hope so too." Reydan: "And then will be my wedding, then Shade's wedding, then yours... (Alton and Sage look at him)... your trip..." Alton: "It's okay, Reddy, we didn't even plan anything on that topic until further notice. As for me, there are no problems with us being married, but somehow something always comes up." Sage (writes): "It doesn't matter to me either, I never planned marriage per se. We live together anyway." Hale: "You're right, don't think about it at all, there are other priorities now. (to Sage) Just take the therapy they give you, that's the only hope you have of getting back to even close to how you were." Sage (writing): "I guess I've got nothing left to lose."

     The visits were over and Reydan, Shade, and Hale said their goodbyes and left, Alton and Sage went to her hospital room, where he stayed until the evening when he had to go back to the men's section.

     The next day he came to see her again, again seeing that she had taken off the IV, but also that she was trying to take the collar off her neck. Alton (stops her): "The doctor will do that when it's time!" Sage (tries to whisper): "It... suffocates... me. (writes it on paper too)" Alton (smiles): "It's the first time I've heard your voice in days, even as a whisper. (calls the doctor from the corridor) Now we'll see if it can be taken off." Doctor (enters): "She took off the IV again?" Alton: "She whispered that the collar was bothering her, she said it was suffocating her." Doctor: "Do you think you will be able to function without it? (Sage writes on a piece of paper that she wants to get it down from her neck) Then let's remove it. (carefully removes and reveals the neck) The scar is still very visible, but less than a few days ago. Does it hurt?" Sage (writes and whispers): "Less... than... before. I want... to... practice... speaking. The collar... was... bothering... me." Alton (to Doctor): "That's good, isn't it?" Doctor (nodding): "Yeah, you could say. (Sage) Don't move your head much though, the pain is still bad." Sage (writes and whispers): "I can't... even if I... wanted to." Doctor: "Good, and better for now. Don't bother too much with the exercise. (leaves)" Alton (kisses her gently on the forehead): "Let's go for some fresh air, it will be nice to be outside. (Sage confirms and they leave)"

    Day by day, that month passed. Shade's bullet wound was completely closed, the redness was still visible, but the pain was significantly reduced. He wasn't allowed to be very active yet, but he started light exercises. Reydan and Olivia were preparing the wedding, but they were waiting for Meryan and Hale to become parents as far as the date was concerned, and that was already very close. And Reydan's first child was due to be born these days, together with Olivia he chose a gift for the baby. Alice was about to leave the clinic within the next month, Shade couldn't wait to get back to their apartment. She looked less sick and her eyes regained clarity, she also gained back a few pounds. Shade told himself he wasn't going to smoke another joint, he wanted as few triggers around her as possible. Sage and Alton came out, although there was no radical change in Sage's behavior compared to the earlier period, but she was functioning better in terms of balance, memory and association of information, as well as other functions that were slowed after the hanging attempt. Her speech returned, she could not speak as before immediately after leaving the hospital, but she could say longer sentences. She was also trying to sing, but it was still too early for that, Alton was pleased that she had recovered this much - he was worried that she would stay like in the beginning or that her symptoms would worsen.

    The first significant event was the birth of Reydan's first child, a healthy boy. The band members were with him in the hospital, wishing him to have children with Olivia soon as well. A few days later, Meryan was also admitted to the hospital after contractions started, and it was time for Hale to become a father as well. However, instead of the expected son, he got a daughter.

    Hale is looking at the baby through the window after birth's delivery, Sage approaches him. Sage (comes closer): "Are you disappointed that it didn't go the way you planned?" Hale (sighs): "Well, a little bit, honestly. I wanted to teach my son a lot of things that I know, looks like it'll wait until further notice. It seems that little Lorian will learn more from her mother." Sage (smiles): "Us daughters are usually more attached to our fathers, you can greatly influence our perception, our life. I was ready to give my life for my father, he was the center of my world. I know you'll love little Lorian and that you will take care of her, and in return you'll receive unconditional love that will last for a lifetime, no matter what." Hale (smiles): "So you think I'll be good dad? (Sage smiles and nods) I hope so. I can teach her to play too if she likes it. (laughs) I'll defend this little creature with my life."

    After Alice got out of the hospital, Reydan and Olivia's wedding was already ready, so everyone gathered. Reydan: Well, guys, it's time to finally release that album, it's gonna get dusty! (laughs)" Alton: "Shade, Sage and I started preparations, the date was announced and we made some announcements to warm up the audience. We have even more fans than before, and we haven't done anything." Hale: Well, technically, the media wrote about the failed shooting and other things that happened, so they have some part in that, and the other part is the fact that more people discovered our music. (Sage) How's the voice practice going?" Sage: "I started singing easier songs, so far I don't sound the best, but I'm trying. I'm practicing every day to get my voice back as soon as possible." Alice: "That's great progress! You don't have any concerts for now anyway, just promotion, you'll recover by then." Meryan: "This was a very stormy period for all of us, now we all deserve a big break. (smile) How about we all go somewhere together for the holidays? The destination doesn't matter, we're comfortable with each other wherever we are." Shade: "Yes! The album is scheduled for next month - we're shooting the video that is the introduction to the album, then going on a trip, after that we're coming back to promote the album." Olivia: "And it will be like a mini honeymoon for the two of us, considering that we couldn't travel at the moment, there will be February vacation and we will fit everything in." Reydan (nodding): "You'll see how fun is to travel with them, if we didn't have fun on the trips our heads would explode from driving!" Shade (grin): "Then I'll drive you on the tractor." Alice: "You won't drive the tractor, (laughs) but I like the idea of buying a house in a nearby village, to go when we have free time." Reydan (to Shade): "Do you want to keep turkeys and name one after me? (laughter)" Shade: "No! You're the only one enough for me, I don't need more of them! (laughter)" Reydan: "Eh, I thought I'd give you one as a present when you get married! (laughs)" Shade: "I'm going to get married, I'm just waiting for my mustache to grow. (touches above his lips) I want to look like a traditional man!" Alice (laughs): "You don't need a moustache, once upon a time it was customary that a guy is ready for marriage when he grows a moustache. As for me, we can go to the registrar whenever you want and get married, I don't mind. (laughter)" Shade: "Really, will you?" Alice: "I will whenever you want too." (smile)" Hale: "Wow, is that a proposal?!" Olivia (smile): "It seems like a it's domino effect in your band." Shade: "Let's finish promoting the album first and then we'll do it, to make it look like something." Alice: "Okay. That's it, we've agreed on that, you're all invited to wedding number three! (laughter)" Meryan (looks at Alton and Sage): "And then there's one more couple left." Alton: "We're not in hurry, Sage needs to recover and that's a priority." Sage (slowly nodding): "Right, it's not the right time for the two of us to talk about that. But I'm glad for all of you, of course. (smile)" Hale: "Today we are concentrating on our newlyweds, and then on everything else in order. Anyway, in the end everything comes on its place." Everyone (raised their glasses and toasted): "Long live the newlyweds!"

   They shot the video again, this time with a completely different concept. Namely, different scenes were filmed in five different scenographies, and in each the life story of each member of the band was shown.

   At the beginning of the video, there are five children, four boys and one girl. The boy who represents Reydan is shown as a good student who tries to meet the high standards of his parents, the scene with him starts at school and continues at home where everything is luxuriously furnished and where little Reydan gets praise when he brings home good grades. Little Hale is in a relatively normal environment, yet significantly poorer than everyone else, he is shown looking after his two younger brothers and playing with his friends, but often not having enough money for all needs and even for food in some periods. Little Shade is shown in his village where he grows up carefree with his grandparents and older brother, but from time to time he looks at the picture of his parents who passed away before that - his father from a lung tumor when he was two, his mother from a car accident when he was five years old. In his scene, little Alton had an abusive father and his mother protected him from his beatings as much as she could, then another little girl appears who represents his sister, and Alton from the beginning of the video mostly spends the rest of his time alone with books, later with his sister and practicing the piano. It's the same with little Sage - in the beginning there is her father with whom she is very happy, then he withdraws as time goes by; in one part of the scene she is at school where she suffers ridicule, in another her mother shouts at her so she cries and sobs, and the rest of the time she spends alone with her dolls, from which she makes her big harmonius family that needs and loves her the way she is.

   In the second part they are teenagers, so there were slightly older actors than before. Young Reydan tries to break away from his parents' expectations, so he enrolls in the school he wants and becomes a popular boy there, at that time he discovers that he likes rock and metal music, so we see how his room is slowly filled with posters of bands and singers Scorpions, Queen, Bon Jovi, Kiss, Deep Purple, Guns'n'Roses, Metallica, Joan Jett, Ramones, Ozzy... His parents don't like that he listens to such a music, they take his posters down, but that's when he moves out and rents an apartment, where he starts to pratice bas. Young Hale graduates from locksmith school and immediately finds a job after school. There he meets a colleague who listens to metal, so he also found his musical taste in the bands Iron Maiden, Slayer, Pantera, ACDC, Motorhead, Antrax, Megadeth... With his savings, he buys a guitar and an amplifier, later he joins the band "Smash the Rash", where he begins his musical career. Young Shade finishes technical school with difficulties due to his rebellious nature and at the same time trains football, during school he starts listening to bands like Korn, Slipknot, Linkin Park, System of Down, Rage against Machine, Rammstein... Then he starts playing drums in the band "Unkempt Monsters" that he forms with several friends from school, and then a tragedy occurs where his friend dies from a large dose of narcotics. He continues with the band for a while, but then the band breaks up. In his scene, young Alton watches his mother leave with his sister, then stands up to his father when he tries to hit him. The room seems gloomy and full of occult symbols, showing Alton in his phase when he was turned to occult teachings. Behind him are posters of the bands Cradle of Filth, Mayhem, Black Sabbath, Theaters Des Vampires, Dimmu Borgir, Burzum... In the meantime, there appear posters of gothic-metal and rock bands like Sisters of Mercy, Theater of Tragedy, Tristania, Sirenia, Moonspell and similar bands that he have listened more often. He is shown with keyboards, considering that in the first part (i.e. when he was still a child) he was in music school, then he already had more experience with his instrument, so he played at school performances. Young Sage changes school, but her condition worsens over time and she starts to self-harm and tries to kill herself, or she does things that could lead to her death; all the adults from her scene are present in the room, but they are facing the wall and not notice what is happening next to them. At that time, she found out about Within Temptation, then about Tarja and Nightwish, and then the list was getting longer and there were Xandria, Evanescence, Sirenia, Lunatica, Leaves Eyes, Epica, Imperia, Delain... As she was already shown singing to her dolls in her earlier scenes, she was now rehearsing to songs from said bands, but she was still alone in her scenes - perhaps even more so than before. In her scenes she draws, writes and sings, but she does everything herself, just like Alton does in his scenes. Over time her list of bands gets even longer and more diverse, so there appear Arch Enemy, Linkin Park, Metallica, Revamp, After Forever, Black Sabbath, Sisters of Mercy, Therion, Doro Pesch, Nemesea, Battle Beast, Theaters Des Vampires, Halestorm...

    In the next part of the video, the young Sage walks through the door and comes out as the current Sage, who symbolically sticks a piece of paper on which it is written that members are needed for the band. The other members also come out of their doors, gather around the ad where Sage was standing and interact with each other in a reserved way at first, but then they go together and become more and more friendly. The scenography is done in such a way that they arrive backstage changed into the stage wardrobe, where everyone gives "high-five" to each other, Sage and Alton kiss each other, then they go on stage together and stand on their spot, while above them the name of the band "Blue Tower" is written in luminous letters and you can hear the applause of the audience. This is where the video ends.

   Everyone was very happy with the video, they liked that it has a very personal touch and that it shows their life path, their beginnings with metal and music in general, and finally how they have become very close now. Even the director agreed that this is much more emotional and fully conveys the message of the song, he once again apologized for insisting on the first version of the video because it certainly did not suit them, that they have such a quality on their own that they do not need to fill newspapers with more explicit scenes and scandals, but to just continue like this until now as soon as Sage's voice is fully restored. He said that next time he would immediately come with an appropriate idea, that there would be no more misunderstandings.

    All band members, their partners and little Lorian went on a short vacation to one of the mountains. During the day they would walk, spend time in the various activities available at that time of year, while in the evening they would sit together, dine, dance and talk.

     One evening, Alton and Sage sat on a bench near the motel in embrace and talked. Sage: "You know, we never come to that topic, but... Have you ever thought about marriage, about children, about things like that? We are constantly questioned about it, but I don't know what our common opinion is on it. You said a few months ago that you don't want children, has that remained the same? As far as I'm concerned we don't even have to think about it, it's a complicated subject anyway..." Alton (looks at her): "Not so complicated when it comes to me - I want to get married, even though it's just a formality and doesn't define my love and commitment to you. (smiles) Did you start reading my mind?" Sage (surprised): "Why?" Alton (takes the box out of his pocket): "Because I already had it in mind. (opens the box where the ring is) I know you're not a fan of rings, this is symbolic, just to make it official. (shy smile) So...do you want us, the next time when someone asks us about engagement and marriage, to say we're married? Do you want to marry me?" Sage (smiling): "Are you sure you want to marry me? Until now, you had a chance to escape, this is how it will be official. (laughter)" Alton (laughter): "I've been tied up for a long time, and I don't want to run away, not from you." Sage (looks at him lovingly): "Then let's make it official. I accept, but don't complain afterwards. (laughs)" Alton (puts the ring on her finger): "We've been through a lot and I know we can go to the end of the world together. (kisses her) Actually, without you, I wouldn't even want to be anywhere else." Sage (resting her head on his chest): "Then we'll continue to go through everything together."

   Alice and Shade are sitting in the room. Shade (takes out the disc and puts it in the laptop): "Do you want to see something? (Alice sits down next to him) The director gave us our copies before he deleted all the scenes. (a clip of his scene appears) You know, when I was at that club where you worked, I thought I'd find you dancing around the pole." Alice (laughing): "Oh come on, who would want to look at my B-cups? (laughs) Those girls who danced had something to show. (winks)" Sage: "I didn't stare much at them, I came to search for you, but don't think that someone doesn't like that too (points to himself and winks)" Alice (looks at the screen): "You have a talent for this, but you're goofy in the video. (laughter)" Shade: "Ah, that's the beginning, I didn't fast forward to when we filmed how it should look like. I made a compilation with the "safer" scenes of the others and this one of mine since I'm not shy, I showed them and told them I'd delete it completely if they didn't like it, they liked how I did it. I put the song we made for the video, this is like a short clip from the video but it looks really cool, it's really powerful. It would be a shame if we didn't do anything with the scenes, (plays the clip for her) look how good it is!" Alice (looks delighted): "You make these compilations very well, you put everything together perfectly! It has such a seductive dark atmosphere, but it's not too much like the rest of the video you described to me. Only these scenes of yours are more provocative, but you did it moderately and seductively. (laughs) You should be a director." Shade: "You think so?" Well, everyone complimented me on how I did the video, I am really thinking about it - you gave me an idea and an incentive. (laughter)" Alice (plays the first clip again): "Now wait until I watch this first video to the end." Shade (smiles): "It's like you haven't seen everything live until now. (starts to dance like in the video) I can remind you if you want." Alice (sitting more comfortably): "This time it will be for my eyes only. Maybe I'll try it later too." Shade (joyfully): "I'd like to see that, and after that... Since we'll be appropriately dressed anyway... We can do a little more. (wink)" Alice: "You won't mind the pain from the wound?" Shade (waves his hand): "Oh, I can barely feel it." Alice (smiles): "Then let's renew the material."

  In the following period, Hale had even more free time, but was still equally involved in promoting the album. They gave interviews for domestic and foreign magazines, took pictures for promotional pictures, and made some videos for social networks.

   Sage and Alton traveled abroad for the weekend to spend more time with his sister. They also stopped by his mother.

     Mother (opening the door): "You have arrived! (greeting Sage) We're just getting to know each other, I'm Alton and Valentina's mom, and you're his fiancee, right?" Sage (nervously nodding): "Yes... We've been engaged for a while now." Mother (to Alton): "I really like her! (Sage) Don't be afraid, I'm not one of those strict mother-in-laws, feel free to relax. (Sage nods) Come on in, we've got so much to talk about! (enter)"

    In the evening they went to the hotel after a short walk. Sage (changing clothes): "I managed to get the note B5 back again, I have a feeling that soon I will be able to get back the range from C6 to E6, maybe even F6 to complete my vocal range of five octaves again, if we count with the vocal frying technique. I'm a little unsure, but at least I got the rest back almost completely." Alton (smiles): "That's great! Don't use more aggressive techniques for a while though, you're better off singing mostly operatic than damaging your throat." Sage: "Don't worry, I won't exaggerate, but I plan to have my voice fully restored by the next performance. (plays the music softly) Do you think anyone will mind the music?" Alton (takes her into a hug): "It's not that loud. (kisses her passionately and touches her back) Come here. (they lay down on the bed together) I missed moments like this, I was just used to it. (smile) How are you doing right now?" Sage (unbuttoning his shirt): "Better. (adjusts to be face level with him) There, I'm less uncomfortable this way. For some reason I get upset when you're on top of me - I don't have mistrust or something like that, but it's somehow scarier to me." Alton (grabs her around the waist): "Maybe you're claustrophobic. That's why you panic when something is completely above you." Sage: "I didn't think about it, I feel more free this way anyway." Alton (smiles): "I don't mind, and I feel more connected to you, like we're equals. The second position puts me in a dominant position, and I believe that neither in life nor in bed should there be dominance, at least I don't like it, I want us both to feel comfortable. I don't mind trying different things, but not continuing them if one of us doesn't like them. Luckily, we have similar tastes. (smiles)" Sage: "I want to try a lot more things with you, but only with you. (pulls her hand down from his torso) Of course, if you want it too. (bites her lip)" Alton (sighs): "Knowing us two artists, it will be very creative. (runs his hand down her back)" Sage (smiles and kisses him): "You have no idea how much I appreciate the fact that you are so attentive and caring towards me, I never believed that I would mean so much to anyone in my life, that someone would need me. We were both so alone for years, and now we are the center of each other's world. I would give my life for you." Alton (kisses her): "I want to spend years with you, that we become one of those middle-aged intellectuals who seem strange to others, but actually have the most harmonious marriage. I want us to have our own peaceful life, to be connected then as well as now. Normally I plan things in advance, just like you do, but I have modest plans for the future. (smile)" Sage: "I hope it doesn't get too bad for me either, at least not now that I'm on mood-regulating meds, I'm functioning a little better on them. (new song starts from the phone) Mmm, the song "Touch me" by Samantha Fox... Great song for making love, just in time. (seductive smile) Shall we pick up where we left off?" Alton (smiling): "Sure. (kisses her neck, then goes down) It would be a shame not to enjoy this moment. (continue)"

    Alice and Shade wanted a small wedding and held a ceremony after the promotion of the album, Reydan and Olivia were trying to have a child, meanwhile getting used to life together, while Hale and Meryan were equally caring for the baby. Alton and Sage set a date for the concert in a month, Sage was trying to get her voice back to its previous condition as soon as possible so she would sound good at that concert.

     Rehearsal; the band has been practicing for three hours in the practice room. Sage (sigh): "I didn't sound really good in the last one, I have to do it again." Shade: "It was good, don't bother - take a break and we'll continue (gets up from the drums)" Reydan (looks at Sage): "You are not well, you are pale. Did you have breakfast today?" Alton: "Yes, we had a nice breakfast, it's not because of that." Sage (running to the bathroom): "Don't mention food to me, I'll get sick again! (leaves)" Hale (startling): "Is she maybe..." Alton: "What, pregnant? I wouldn't be sure. The doctor said that head and brain injuries can also affect the appearance of nausea, we have to go to the hospital to check it because it's happening more and more frequently." Reydan (nervously): "Don't wait, we'll finish this rehearsal and go now, eventually tomorrow, but we won't resume rehearsals until she checks why this is happening." Sage (coming back): "Sorry guys, I'm having a bad period. (takes the microphone) Now I'm ready to continue." Alton (takes the microphone from her hand and puts it back on the stand) No more practice, let's go check if everything is okay." Sage (surprised): "Yeah, everything's fine... (looks at the others) Don't panic, I'm fine!" Hale: "Just check to make sure there aren't complications with the head or whatever, we won't let you to put yourself at risk." Sage (nodding): "Okay, let's go then. (everyone leaves their instruments) Tomorrow we'll pick up where we left off." Shade: "If all the results are fine, we'll continue with the pratice. (To Alton) Let us know when you're done." Alton (nodding): "Okay. (To Sage) We're going right there."

    They went to a private clinic for faster results. The head scanner showed the damage as before, so no deterioration, but she was kept for another examination after blood tests. After the test Sage nervously looked around, took the stairs and hurried upstairs. Alton returned to the waiting room after the phone call, asked the porter if Sage had come out, to which he replied that she had gone up the stairs. Alton went upstairs, looking to see if she might have gone for another examination on the upper floors, but he continued to go all the way to the top floors and didn't find her. There was still a door for the roof, he decided to look there as well. Sage stood by the fence of the roof, looking nervously at the city skyline, then after it down at the bottom.

      Alton (startling): "Sage, what are you doing here?! (comes up to her) What happened, what did the results say? Since you're standing on the roof again and it looks like you're planning to jump, then it's not good, is it? (she shuddered) What did they tell you?" Sage (touching her belly): "I'm going to ruin him, just like I ruin everything else. I'm not capable of that, what if I become like my mother and ruin his or her life? (eyes full with tears)" Alton (crying with happiness): "We're having a baby? Sage, you won't ruin him, you're a caring person and you're not like your mother. (thinks about it) Part of me didn't want kids because I'm afraid that at some point I'll become violent like my father, I'd rather jump off this roof now than make someone else's life hell like that." Sage: "See, I am also thinking on the same principle - will that child have a mentally unstable mother who will be very caring and understanding at one moment, then turn to cold, maybe even aggressive at the next? I don't want to ruin his life like that, I'd rather die to spare the child the intense therapy he would have to go to because of growing up with me. (starts to climb the roof railing)" Alton (climbs with her): "Then we'll go together." Sage (startled): "Oh no, you come back." Alton: "What's the point? I'll never be a good father." Sage (stops climbing, looks at him): "That's not true, you would be a great father, I'm the one who wouldn't fit and who would leave permanent consequences on the child's psyche! I'm a monster who doesn't know how to function normally, if I were a normal person we wouldn't be standing on the edge of the roof right now, look at us! Instead of looking forward to having a little creature that we will support to express its interests, opinions and emotions, that we will raise as an intellectual individual and to whom we will impart our knowledge and experience so that one day he or she can use it as a life lesson or maybe even for creating something bigger and better, we stand here because of me! Maybe this child would be another artist who would create his works the way we both create them, maybe he would be interested in some other activities or sciences, I would just wish if he could grow up in a family full of understanding without quarells, neglect of any kind, without beatings and humiliation. I want a family with you, Alton, I'm just afraid of the future, even those children's future, because everything is too uncertain on this planet, we humans have become worthless and everything is going to hell - what kind of world can these children grow up in?" Alton: "How can you tell me that you are not fit to be a mother, you know what a child needs to grow up into a healthy individual and you worry about his future in this world even before he is born! I am concerned about the future of our planet and society too, but no one in our family will feel worthless, we will stick together even if the whole world is falling apart, we will all go together until the end. Who knows, maybe they will be able to contribute to making this world a better place, we must direct new generations to maintain harmony and diplomacy in our society because this is the only hope for human civilization. As for you personally... (grabs her hand) Sage, I've known you for a few years, it's true that you have trouble regulating your emotions, but don't think you're going to be a bad mother. You are not like your mother, you are aware of your flaws and you admit them, maybe too much, because you go to the other extreme and then you become very insecure, but in the past few years you have worked so much on your limits and on yourself as a person. (touches her belly) A few years ago you would have thought this was impossible, wouldn't you?" Sage (with teary eyes): "Yeah, I never thought I'd ever even kiss a person, let alone have a child. (sigh) Do you think that will we be able to do this? I'm afraid of my psyche." Alton: "If we cross this fence and end up on the sidewalk, then there's nothing left for the two of us, no band, absolutely nothing but our graves. Who knows, maybe the universe thinks we're ready for this, I want a future with you, Sage. I don't want our graves, at least not for a long time, I want you and our child, I don't want this to be the end of the story." Sage (slowly steps down from the fence, Alton follows her): "I believe you. (they hug each other, they both cry) I want us to have a future, I want everything to be okay. Until today we were couple, from today we are a family. (they look at each other and smile) Sorry about this, I panicked." Alton (kisses her forehead): "I know. Honestly, I was panicking too, it seems we managed to calm and encourage each other. (touches her baby and smiles) I still can't believe we're having a baby, let's get off the roof before anyone sees us and break the news to the guys in the band, they'll be so happy." Sage (nods, smiles): "Okay. (she turns to see several doctors and nurses): "Um, Alton? I think we're going to have a little problem... again." Alton (looks at the doctors): "Looks like we're going to the clinic again for a while. (looks at Sage) At least this time we're going together. (laughter)"

     Later that evening, Hale, Reydan, and Shade saw each other in town. Hale: "Did they call?" Shade: "It's strange that they didn't, I'm worried." Reydan (calling via video call, Alton answers): "Alti, what took you so long?" Alton (through the phone): "They kept us in a hospital for one night, we are coming out tommorow. They would keep us longer, but doctors decided that there was no need for it." Shade (panicked): "Why should they keep you?! Is Sage okay?" Alton: "No health problems, except for the ones from before, but we got kept here because we were about to jump off the roof..." Hale (upset): "Wait, what?! You wanted to kill yourself together?!" Alton: "Yes... We had a minor crisis." Reydan: "What a crisis, for God's sake, they could have told us now that you are dead!" Alton: "Luckily no one is dead, but someone will be born in a few months... We will become parents. (guys started to rejoice)" Hale: "I don't understand anything, tomorrow you have to explain everything to us from the beginning... I just know that I'm happy for you." Reydan (breathed out): "You two have a very strange way of functioning, you know?! You've freaked me out." Shade: "Tomorrow we are celebrating another baby in the band, we don't even have to practice, come in the morning when they let you out." Alton (smiles): "Okay. See you tomorrow."

     The next day, they celebrated that Alton and Sage would become parents, and in the days remaining until the concert they practiced. They sounded like before, so they knew that the concert would be successful.

      Preparations before the concert are over, all that's left is to go on stage. Shade (hurriedly): "Where did I put the other drum stick?!" Hale (to Shade): "You put it the back of your jeans." Shade (turns around): "Oh, there it is! Thanks, bro." Hale (laughing): "No problem, always there for you. (to Reydan) Did you tune your bass guitar? Reydan: "Everything is arranged. (to Sage) So, the last song we're doing is a cover of Billy Idol's "White Wedding," right?" Sage (nods): "Right. Before that are our songs, before the big finale." Hale: "That's right, everything is as agreed. (Shade enters the stage) Here we are... Time to go to the stage again! I love this feeling! (exits a few seconds after Shade)" Alton (to Sage): "Will you sing "White Wedding" as smoothly and seductively as "Rebel yell"?" Sage: "Maybe a little bit, why?" Alton (sigh): "When you sing like that, you create certain reactions in my body, my longing for you increases." Sage (seductively): "Don't worry about it, we'll take care of it after the concert. (smiles, kisses him and he goes on stage)"

     They held a concert to remember, hired a concert recording crew to make a DVD of the live concert. Before the last song, Hale asked Sage over the microphone: "Sage, why is this concert called "Metal wedding"? Does that have any meaning? (winks)" Sage (to audience): "Maybe... (a woman with a book in her hands enters the stage) Dear audience, thank you for giving me inspiration to create and be better all these years, especially thanks to the guys from the band who have become like family to me, and one of them... (Alton walks up and kisses her on the forehead)... is about to become my husband. Welcome to our metal wedding! (the audience is doing ovations and applause is heard) The wives of the other band members are with us (they come on stage), big applause for them too! (audience applauds, Sage looks at Alton) Well, Count on the Black Horse, shall we begin the ceremony?" Alton (kisses her, audience cheers again): "Of course, Countess. (smiles)"

     While the boys were getting Alton ready, Alice fixed Sage's makeup, Meryan gave her a wedding ring, and Olivia bouquet with flowers in different shades of blue and purple, two of their favorite colors. Sage and Alton stood in front of each other, smiled and gave their consent to be married, then kissed again. Sage then tossed a bouquet into the audience, after which they returned to their instruments to sing a cover of "White Wedding", and later continued the celebration in a smaller circle of people, surrounded by family, friends and those they care about.

         *******

      Almost two decades later:

    Five young people are sitting in the room of Hale's daughter Lorian and listen to music. There are: Conner (age 18), Reydan's first son, Lorian (age 18), Hale's daughter, Adrian (age 17), Sage's and Alton's son, Jana (age 16), Reydan's daughter with Olivia and Adrian's girlfriend, as well as Hale's son Leo (16 years old). On the radio starts a song from the band "Blue Tower".

    Lion: "Well, here are our old ones! (moves his head to the rhythm of the music) This album was their best." Conner: "I liked the third and fifth the most." Lorian: "They sound best on this last one, definitely." Adrian: "Our band has a completely different sound, we're not going to copy them. (laughs) But, really, they're a big inspiration to us." Jana: "Maybe we won't be as popular as them, but I hope we'll be as united as them. They went through everything together, they reconciled the family and the band... I admire them." Adrian (kisses her): "One day we will do that too." Lorian: "The concert starts at eight o'clock, dad is driving us all, mom will come later. There will be a large audience, all tickets are sold out. I'm really nervous, we've never been an opening act at such a big show." Conner: "What did Jana's and my father say? Play like you have until now and you'll be great!" Leo: "Okay, guys, let's go in order - Conner, have you tuned your bass?" (Conner confirms) Lorian, did you tune your guitar? (Lorian confirms) Adrian, have you warmed your throat? (Adrian confirmed) Jana, have you adjusted the keyboards? (Jana confirmed) Okay, I have the drums ready too, then we'll go to the dad to drive us, we'll practice one more time before the start."

     Shade and Alice were playing in the yard with their younger children: their son Christopher, 10 years old, Reydan's twins, boy Austin and girl Anita, 7 years old, Hale's youngest son Freddie, 5 years old, and their younger son Jeremy, 3 years old. Alice looked at the clock, warning Shade that it was already time to go, so he got up, kissed her, waved to the children and left to get to the concert. Reydan was waiting for him in the car, so they drove together to the hall where the concert will be held.

     Sage and Alton check to make sure they've taken everything, then head for the door. Sage (pauses): "Catherine hasn't come down yet, I'm going to get her." Alton: "Maybe she doesn't want to come with us." Sage (concerned): "I feel something is wrong with her lately, I'm going to talk to her." Alton: "Go, we have enough time. (kisses her forehead) Family comes first."

     Sage carefully knocked on her fourteen-year-old daughter's door, then stepped inside. Catherine was sitting in a darkened room listening to music. Sage (approaching): "Um, this scene reminds me of me - loneliness, darkness, music, moodiness, I don't like that at all when it comes to you. If on the playlist is something that I know, I should be really worried." Catherine (turns off the music): "I found some old music from your youth, there's a singer Lana Del Rey..." Sage (sigh): "I know very well, I also listened to her. What song?" Catherine: "The song is Summertime Sadness, if you've heard that song." Sage (sings): "Kiss me hard before you go, summertime sadness, I just wanna you to know that, baby, you're the best... (stops singing) I love that song, but I'm worried about the subject matter. What is the reason for this atmosphere, is there a specific problem or do you just feel bad?" Catherine (waving her hand): "It's nothing, Mom... Some nonsense." Sage: "I want to hear what kind of nonsense it is. Sometimes it's nice to tell someone who trusts you." Catherine: "You mean, you should tell someone you trust?" Sage: "You know, when we're children, we trust many people, but later we realize that many of those adults didn't trust us and didn't try to protect us from some things we didn't have to go through. So I want you to know that whatever you're going through, it sure does matter as long as you feel bad about it." Catherine: "They call me emo at school because of my alternative style, they say that I cut myself, that I am part of some cult, some even make fun of me because of my weight and say that I am fat. (looks at her body) Maybe they're right, I sure am." Sage (upset): "You didn't really hurt yourself, did you? If you did, then we need to take more serious measures..." Catherine (calms her down): "No don't worry, mom, I didn't, you explained to me and Andi how dangerous it can be and I didn't do it, if you want to you can check." Sage: "I won't check, I trust you. Okay, the important thing is that you are not in danger, and for the rest... I like the emo style, and their music supports the open expression of emotions - what's wrong with that? They can use it as an insult as much as they want, you're a child of two metalheads and don't listen to those who don't understand our alternative styles. It's the same for cults - people were saying all kind of things about your dad just because he was more into black metal in his teenage years! All five of us had all kinds of epithets just because we're into metal band, even Reddy and I, who are officially religious, but Alton was certainly always the biggest target of condemnation from religious fanatics, even though he never did anything wrong, he always respected all religions. Shade knew to play with that theme a little bit at the beginning, but still Alton was a bigger issue for them. However, all of us in the band do not pay attention to such name-calling, we know that they can only be uttered by people who do not know us, people who do not even understand what they are talking about. About that last thing you said, about the weight... Where did they get that from? Your weight is in the normal range, I took care of your diet so that you would never end up in a situation where you would be obese like I was when I was a child, and then to have to undergo surgeries to remove and tighten excess skin like I had to. You look like a girl of your age should look like." Catherine: "Well, one of the classmates started picking on me and one of my friends who has a few extra pounds, so the others also started picking on us... I mean, they also talk about some other things for the two of us, but it doesn't matter... (blushes)" Sage (notices her reaction, smiles): "For how long do you... hang out... with her?" Catherine (shyly): "We've been hanging out for a while now. I like her a lot, seems she likes me too." Sage: "Feel free to bring her here at our place whenever you want, I would really like to meet her. If you and she are comfortable when you spend time with each other, then the others can just say what they want - maybe they too will find someone who will mean so much to them, and only then will they be able to understand you, but until then, don't lose the person which means to you because of those who are transient in our lives. (looks at her watch) If you want to go to the concert with us, start getting ready, dad is waiting for us in the car." Catherine (starts getting ready): "Okay, I'll get ready and go with you." Sage (as she gets ready): "I will talk to the class teacher, I don't like that the school system barely takes care of the students' mental health - what if you didn't have the support of your family and something happened to you? More and more often, children have no support either at home or at school, it is no wonder that there are more and more suicides among young people. Anyway, understand that in this case you are not the problem, you are just who you are, the problem is with that immature boy and those like him. You will see one day that they were immature people, and some of them will not become different even then. You see, at that age your peers think you're something special when you humiliate someone, but you and your friend humiliate them with your maturity and attitude that you don't care about their opinion because they don't mean anything in your life. Those who mistreat us remain as too important persons in our memories, and they should be insignificant - why do I need the opinion of a person who does not know how to make constructive criticism if he already is going to criticize, with the fact that you don't even need that, am I really going to give preference to such a person instead of someone who appreciates me, cares for me, who supports me and wants me to be the best I can be? Surround yourself with those people who make you feel good, the others are irrelevant." Catherine (smiling and hugging Sage): "You always give me the best advice, mom. I love that you and dad are good to us and that we always have your support." Sage (eyes full of tears): "That's one of the most beautiful compliments in my life." Catherine: "Why are you crying?" Sage (stopping tears): "I'll tell you that story one day. Everything at the time." Catherine (takes the bag): "Let's go. (they leave)

Many of my friends tell me that they identify with your music, they say that you understand what they are going through and that your music makes their difficult times easier, they all wish you were their mom. (laughter)" Sage (sadly): "I'm sorry that they all don't have someone's support, they can always contact me if I can help them and listen to them, but I am glad for fact that the lyrics I wrote and sang give someone the will to live, to help someone, just like those artists and songs once kept me alive. (soft smile) I hope that one day they will feel happiness and peace, that they will find what will motivate them to stay on this planet, just like "Blue Tower" and you, my family, gave me that feeling. I still have my crises, but I learned that it is also an integral part of life, not everything can be ideal and now I know to react less drastically to bad events." Catherine (laughs): "Don't worry, we love you despite those "moments" of yours, we know that this too will pass and that it will go back to the way it was before. (both laughed and walked towards the car)"

    The Big Five gathered backstage. They looked older, with a slightly more mature metal style, but they were still inseparable. With this concert, they ended their tenth album tour, so once again went through the list of songs they would perform that evening.

   Reydan: "Which one did we leave for the end?" Sage: "The last one on the list is "Blue Towers", we will play it at the end of the concert." Shade: "Well, let's do another encore, I'm superstitious and I don't like that song to be the last." Hale: "Shade, nobody's leaving the band, nobody's going to kill themselves, we can play that song for the last one. (laughs)" Alton: "Anyway, we will perform another encore. Our young ones are performing tonight as well, I'm glad we could help them." Hale (to Shade): "There is only your son left to grow up and join the band, we'd all have kids in the band. (laughter)" Shade: "My little one is not interested in music, he would like to perfect my hobby with video editing and directing, so he will make videos for them. (laughs) Oh, I'm lucky to have them, Alice barely managed to get pregnant and we got the second child only after seven years... I was afraid that I would be the only one without children." Reydan (patting him on the shoulder): "In the end, everything ends well; I was afraid that Conner wouldn't get along with the others, but they accepted each other. Hale and Meryan have three children, as they wanted, you and Alice have two sons. These two (pointing to Sage and Alton) almost killed themselves when she was carrying Adrian in her belly because they didn't believe they were really capable of raising healthy people, and both Adrian and Catherine are good kids and they don't lack anything, they'll be good people one day." Sage (smiled): "They will all be good, they have our support and our experience. We will not have too high expectations of them, they will not grow up in difficult conditions, we try to maintain ourself so they can have us as long as possible, we will not mistreat and neglect them, we will not allow others to humiliate them and to ever hurt themselves because of it. We've combined our life experiences to make life easier for them - they'll have to go through some things themselves, but we'll be there for the topics we've experienced on our own." Shade (smiles): "Nicely said, buddy." Reydan: "Well, guys, are you ready to finish this last concert for this tour? After that, we're all going to the beach, that's the deal." Hale: "Uh, I can't wait, I'll enjoy the vacation. (smiles) Looks like I've become a grandpa Hale, I'm not an uncle anymore. (laughter)" Shade (puts his hand on shoulder): "No, you're always Uncle Hale, and we're boys who fight, so you buy us ice cream. (laughter)" Hale (as they leave): "You know I'm craving ice cream now too, let's go after the concert to freshen up a bit."

    Alton hugged Sage before going on stage and softly whispered, "You look beautiful tonight." Sage (blushing): "You always say that." Alton: "Because you are beautiful to me every time. (kisses her hand) Let's go make music again on another stage, my countess." Sage (smiles and kisses his cheek): "Let's go where the beat of the music is like the beat of our hearts, because we artists live for the music. Let's go on stage, Count. (they smile at each other and go)"

    After the band's opening act, which was made up of their children, "Blue Tower" took the stage again. They performed their older and newer hits with the same passion, now already having a significant place on the music scene, which they tried to never let down. The audience loved them because of their quality, which only increased over time, so they only had more and more fans as time went by, and their charisma was even more noticable with age. They were still prone to jokes, they still cared about each other's needs, and every song they performed became a perfect harmony in which each member brought a part of themselves. They were aware that their mortal lives would not last forever, that perhaps in their old age some illness would prevent them from continuing to perform, aware of the fact that life is unpredictable and that every performance could potentially be the last, so they gave their best at every performance . However, they were not afraid of being forgotten, they knew that they would exist as long as their songs exist and, as you already know, art is eternal.

      The end

Suzana Ristic Suza

04/10/2024 at 9:10 p.m

Typing completed from 11.04.2024 to 23.04.2024